Humorous and sarcastic jokes

A selection of humorous jokes

If you don't want to answer my phone, just say so, and don't always let others move to help you say you're sorry. Life needs jokes, welcome to enjoy the selection of humorous satirical jokes!

a selection of humorous and satirical jokes (1)

1. The less things you have in your head, the more tricks you have in your head.

2. Master, can I swipe my card? Yes ... Not a meal card!

3. I propose that we play a game before eating again. Please close your eyes when it is dark. . . . . . Please open your eyes at dawn ~ and settle the bill by the way, 398 yuan, thank you!

4. Sometimes it is right to give up. However, giving up the choice is definitely wrong!

5. Desire is a fishing net, oath is a slip of the tongue, and ideal is to leave home.

6. Mental patients think that 2 plus 2 equals 5, while mental patients think that 2 plus 2 equals 4, but they are all troubled by uncertainty.

7. Under normal circumstances, the eyes are black and the heart is red. Once the eyes are red, the heart will turn black.

8. After dinner with friends, the waiter holds the bill: 25 yuan, sir. The friend is angry: the calculation is wrong! Calculate again! After a while, the waiter came back and said sincerely: Yes, sir is 25

9. My son asked: What is kidney calculi? He said: When you pee, a stone comes out. My son was very worried and said: Dad, be careful not to hit your foot when you pee!

1. Are you hungry? I have cold granules here! Would you like a drink?

11. Ordinary me, ordinary drag, ordinary beauty I don't dump! A selection of humorous and satirical jokes (2)

1. During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, there were a large number of cattle people, among whom Lu Ban was the most fan, because he was the first saw star in history.

2. The playback quality on the fast broadcast is really poor: I downloaded a film yesterday, and after watching it for half an hour, I didn't know whether it was coded or not.

3. In ancient China, there was an artifact of governing the country: the Yellow Calendar. Want population growth, write more? Appropriate sex? ; Write more if you want to tear it down so that the people don't get angry? Suitable for breaking ground? ; Don't want them to make trouble in the streets, just write? Avoid traveling? ...

4. This is a hard-working man. He is busy when others are sleeping, and he has everything that others don't have. -eulogy of a thief

5. The so-called pure friendship between men and women is nothing more than two situations: girls are men and boys are women?

6. What are you doing? Ordinary youth said: I'll get a haircut. The literary youth said: I'm going to change my look. Idiot youth said: I'll go and get a hair.

7. For many young people suffering from B, the clothes in major shopping malls can be divided into three categories: 1. Disdainful. Second, I can't afford it. Third, it can't be worn.

8. The spring breeze is like a machete in March this year ~~

9. There are always 36 days every year when I don't want to grow up; There are always 3 days a month when I don't want to go to work; There are always seven days a week when I don't want to get up; There are always 24 hours a day when I don't want to move. A selection of humorous jokes (3)

1. There are too few wolves in this world, and huskies are obviously not enough.

2, time is the most precious, time is money, calculate wages, I this is time clearance.

3. It rains all night, and there is always a big traffic jam when you are late.

4. All quarrels that are not aimed at divorce are all about showing love.

5. selling cute skills:? Is it? Change? Huh? ，? Yes? Change? What? , flat tongue for tongue,? Idiot? Change your name? Little fool? .

6. I haven't been out for a few days, and all the girls are wearing skirts ~

7. jane doe's hair status: Hair, hurry up, I'm sleepy? The following frowsty coquettish man replied: Who called hair

8. Don't be afraid of catching a cold, just upgrade the virus database?

9. Everyone has three unsurpassable gods: I was? 、? A friend of mine? 、? A classmate of mine? .

1. When I am rich, I will take the person I hate the most to the best mental hospital in the world.

11. People who say that others are getting fat are actually narrowing their eyes.

12. Sell second-hand parachutes, only used once, but never opened. There is a little stain. ;