Humorous jokes and great truths

Little jokes and big truths

1, talents are rare.

Boss Jack reported to the police station: A rogue impersonated my salesman and earned $65,438+10,000 in the town! This is more than all my employees earn from their customers. You must find him! ?

? We'll catch him and put him in jail! ?

? Why are you locked up? I want to hire him! ?

Revelation: Different positions lead to different ways of thinking.

2. Resolutions of the Board of Directors

The board meeting was held all day and the directors revolved around it. All employees are not allowed to drink at work? This motion caused a heated debate. Finally, I passed this? Prohibition? . At this time, the directors raised their glasses together to congratulate this wise decision.

Revelation: We often look at others with harsh eyes and often ignore ourselves.

3. Employment standards

A hotel is about to open and is recruiting employees.

Examiner:? If you were a doorman, how would you tell who was going in and out?

Candidates:? Before the hotel opens, I will question the well-dressed people; After the hotel opens, I will question people in rags. ?

Examiner:? All right! If you were a public relations lady, how would you report to the reception leader?

Candidates:? If I am a smart leader, I will lower my grades by 10%, leaving room; If I am a confused leader who doesn't understand business, I will exaggerate my performance 10%. ?

She was hired.

Enlightenment: We should pay attention to the bright spots in our work, and we should look at our personality when we know people.

4. Contract risk

Boss:? There is a backlog of 200 pairs of summer men's trousers. What should I do?

Agent:? Send it to other provinces. ?

Boss:? Nobody there will buy it now. ?

Agent:? No, just wrap it. We sent a package of samples of 10 to our customers, and eight pieces were written on the invoice, pretending to be wrong, but the price was still 10. So the shopkeeper will be happy and think that he will leave the goods because he took advantage of us. ?

The boss thought it was a great idea, and the package and invoice were sent out? Three days later, the boss shouted to the agent:? Fool, look, you fooled us! None of the customers left the goods, only 8 pairs of pants were returned to us! ?

Revelation:? Don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you? Give it to others and you will get it? Deal with a man as he deals with you? Result.

5. Outstanding features

One day, many people came to seek the position of bank teller. Unexpectedly, the bank manager hired an ugly man with squint eyes, crooked nose and attractive ears. Someone asked the manager why he made this choice, and the manager replied with a smile. Because of his outstanding characteristics, if he absconds with money, it is easy for us to state this on the wanted order. ?

Revelation: In this world, everyone has his own advantages, as long as he uses it in the right place.

6. Letter of recommendation

Peters heard that he was fired. He went to see the head of the human resources department. ? Since I have worked in the company for so long, he said? I think you should at least give me a letter of recommendation. ?

The director of the human resources department agreed and said that he would get the letter the next day. The next morning, Peters saw a letter on his desk that read:? Peters has worked in our company for 1 1 year. We were satisfied when he left. ?

Revelation: Don't think how important you are, and don't give others trouble casually, otherwise you will be at your own risk.

7. Apply for security

Green went to a bar to apply for security. The manager of the bar asked him, Do you have any experience?

? Sure! ? Green looked around. When I saw a drunken guest passing by, I immediately caught him and kicked him out of the door. Then, proudly ask the manager: Can I see the general manager now?

? I'm afraid you'll have to wait a while, because you just kicked him out. ?

Revelation: Life is like climbing a mountain. When you are proud of reaching the top, it is also the time when you are about to go down?

8. salary

A business tycoon is bragging about the secret of his success. ? I always adhere to the theory that salary is the most insignificant part of work. ? He said,? Working wholeheartedly and giving full play to your talents will bring more happiness than money. ?

? After you proved this theory to yourself, did you get rich? The reporter asked.

? No, I became rich after I proved this theory to the people who worked for me. ?

Revelation: Don't be easily confused by other people's ideals, or you will get farther and farther away from your own ideals.

Little joke, big truth two

0 1. The young man stood on the roof and tried to commit suicide. Everyone is watching. Soon the police came and asked why. The young man replied: My girlfriend who talked for eight years ran away with the local tyrant and will get married tomorrow. Feeling alive is boring! The policeman said: You slept with other people's wives for eight years, and you have the fucking face to commit suicide here! The young man thought, yes, he came down.

Therefore, it is very important to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Learn to look at the problem from another angle, and many hard things will pass.

02. A rich woman leads a dog for a walk, but there are beggars in Lu Yu. She haughtily taunted the beggar:? You can bark at my dog. Dad, I'll give you a hundred dollars! ? The beggar said:? What if I scream ten times? The rich woman happily:? I'll give you 1000! ? The beggar shouted at the dog ten times at once? Dad? Attract the audience like a cloud. In full view, the rich woman had to pay him. The beggar took the money and shouted, Thank you, mom! Thank you. Mom?

This world is like this sometimes. You are kind, others will take advantage of you. You are evil, but everyone comes to please you. For those who bully you, your only way to retaliate is to show your respect by using different ways, with the same attitude and gently fighting back. At the same time, you should remember that no matter how deeply you are hurt, there will always be someone who will let you forgive all the difficulties brought by your previous life.

03. After being removed from office, a county magistrate became a vegetable and was sent to the hospital. The doctor said: It might be better to read him a notice of reinstatement. ? His wife thinks that since she wants to study, she might as well be a mayor to make him happy. I don't know. After reading it, the county magistrate stood up and smiled. The doctor sighed and said, don't follow the doctor's advice and increase the dose without authorization! ?

There is a fine line between life and death. Some people commit suicide with desire, some with hope, and some with ignorance. Professional things should be done by professional people. Don't always try to be brave and hurt yourself and your friends. Don't expect, don't assume, don't force, let nature take its course, destiny takes a hand will happen.

04. A black man was trapped in the desert for three days without water. Just as he was dying, he made three wishes to God. The first is that he can have clean water to drink every day in his next life, the second is that he can be white in his next life, and the third is that he can see a woman's ass every day in his next life. God promised him, so he will become a toilet in his next life!

Pursuing what you want blindly is not necessarily a good result. On the other hand, a person thinks more about others, everything goes well, and the sky will let nature take its course. What you want is not necessarily what you want. Even God knows what you want. Greed is deceiving yourself.

When I entered the room, I found a hundred-dollar bill on the table. Mom usually doesn't give pocket money. Oh, my God! Have mercy this time? I can't help feeling happy. When I picked up the bill, I found a piece of paper under it. I picked it up and looked at it. It said:? Today is your grandmother's birthday, wait for me at home, and we will celebrate her birthday together. Attention? That hundred dollars is not for you, but to attract your attention! ?

Forced love is not strong. If you change your personality and principles and play tricks for the other person to be with you, is that right? Love? It is doomed to break up, and then you will find that you have lost not only your love, but also your own soul. The same confession is not necessarily true. People who say nice things may not like you, but may just use you. It is very important for you to remember the purpose behind it.

06.a drives a BMW. b:？ Dude, where did you get the BMW? A:? I met a beautiful woman in the bar that day. In the evening, she drove me to the top of the mountain in her BMW, then took off her clothes and told me that you can have whatever you want. . So, I took her BMW. ? B pondered for a long time and said:? Dude, you did the right thing. You can't wear her clothes either. ?

Temptation is often superficial, refusing what the eyes see and grasping what the heart wants most are often good at success. You may or may not listen to the echo of your friends, but after listening, you need to know what like-minded people are.

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