Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Funny crosstalk "cherish time" script lines (2)

Funny crosstalk "cherish time" script lines (2)

Ouch! Comrade household registration officer! I have many things to do! I won't take part in this game, and I don't want this prize. I solemnly declare to you on behalf of my son and my family: no!

From the two numbers you pressed on the queuing machine, you can see that you have an IQ problem. You haven't figured out what this transferred thing is, so you said categorically: No! ? What if it is something more valuable than gold? What if it's diamonds or something? What if it's a Mercedes-Benz BMW villa or something?

Ouch! Yes! Yes! I have to ask! Hey! Comrade household registration officer, can you tell me what you can dig out when this wheel turns? If you are afraid to let others listen to you, you can tell me in a low voice. If I can really turn out a Mercedes-Benz BMW villa at once, haha! I will give you more than half!

B it's quite generous!

Answer? Tell you what! Although it's not a thing, it's much more valuable than the Mercedes-Benz BMW villa you mentioned! ? Listen, no, wow? Much more valuable than Mercedes-Benz BMW Villa!

Isn't this a pie in the sky? How is that possible? I'm sure everyone treats you like a retard and plays games with you! It is said that the reform and innovation of household registration is actually an intellectual development for you!

A: I feel a little strange, too. I said, comrade, we won't play this game today. Don't turn this wheel today. When I'm not busy, I come here a few times to make up this. Why not?

Did she agree?

A agree with what? She said:? This is not a game, but a very serious matter. Today you are going to turn the wheel, and the result of this turn is a big problem related to your son's quality of life and longevity! ?

B what?

A: Now that she said that, I understand a little. I just turned the wheel of feelings-turn-turn-turn-turn, and finally stopped! What's the number on it? What is my son's life!

What does this have to do with fortune telling? It's sheer nonsense!

Answer yes! I'm anxious when I hear it! I said: comrade household registration officer! My son is only three days old, and there is still a long way to go! I have caught up with such a good era again, and I must train him to be an adult! I want him to go to college in high school, and then take the postgraduate exam, so that he can study the ecological balance of industrial, agricultural, military and natural science spacecraft in the future, and long live the development of green and environmentally friendly nano-cloned human health care intelligence!

B this is a rare talent!

A household registration officer comrade! It's a good thing that you keep pace with the times and innovate, but how hard can I be if you get such a big wheel for me to push! If you don't push it well, it will stop at 25 or 30, then my son's life will be all over!

If you look at it this way, you really have to be careful. With your little strength, you may not be able to push it to 25 or 30! People! It's not easy to take a trip in the world! Who doesn't want to live a few more years!

Answer yes! Why else would I name my son centenarian? I just want him to live to 100 and live forever!

So are you going to push it or not?

A household registration clerk said, if you don't push, you can't. You have to push it, otherwise this form can't be filled in, and you can't apply for an account if you can't fill it in!

B it's not just playing games, it seems quite formal!

A is right! I just saw two notaries sitting next to the big wheel!

B Maybe it's really important! Or even the notary will come!

A household registration officer comrade! In case I didn't push it well, I really pushed it at15,20. Can you let me push it again? If I just push it, my wife can't peel me raw!

B looks really scared and his mouth is shaking!

Answer? According to the regulations, I must push it myself, because your son is too young to come, and you are his first guardian, so you are allowed to push it for him. ? The more the household registration clerk says this, the greater the burden in my heart!

B then push it quickly!

A: You are watching the excitement, but you are not afraid of big things! Will you be responsible if I push it?

That's your son, and I'm responsible for your concession!

This is only part of the reform and innovation of our household registration system. Actually, this method has been tried for many years. It's not just pushing wheels for newborns, all natural people have to push wheels themselves. After these years' practice, all sectors of society have responded very well, and strongly demand that this great feat of household registration system reform and innovation be popularized in China and the world as soon as possible, so that all mankind can master their own quality of life, grasp their own life span, love life, cherish life, make full use of limited life and grasp every minute of their own. We should take time to study, work and study.

B: Did the household registration clerk say all this?

What she said before A, I added at the back.

B hi! This is the first time I've heard about it. Quite new!

A Anyway, we can't help it. Everyone will have to push it in the future. Who let my son be born so timely? Just landed and caught up with the wheel;

B: It's better to catch up early than to catch up skillfully!

A: There is nothing I can do! You can't avoid me. I'm here to apply for an account. You can't apply for this account without pushing the wheel. Push, only push! I was cruel, gritted my teeth, stamped my feet, rolled up my arms and sleeves, and walked past;

B yes! You should be fully prepared, have enough confidence and make more efforts to make this wheel turn several times!

As soon as I got there, I heard someone shouting: Hello! Aren't you a son? Go up and push it!

Why is B still divided here and there?

The whole family is pushed by men and women, but they say men and women!

b! That's why!

A I trudged to the front of the wheel and silently said to my son: Son! Dad will push it for you today! Don't blame dad for pushing more and pushing less! I tried my best!

B's ideological burden is quite heavy, so push it quickly! There are people waiting in line at the back!

A I still say in my heart: son! Dad is going to push you! I pushed more and pushed less, but I tried my best! You can't blame me!

B, just push! The people behind are in a hurry!

A I still say in my heart: son! Dad is really going to push you this time! I'm really going to throw caution to the wind this time, even if I break my arm. I have done my duty! Please don't, please don't-don't blame me!

Ouch! You are so wordy! Push it quickly, the people behind you are anxious!

A I still say in my heart: son! -

B: Hey! Oh, dear! Come on, push it! I was so worried!

A at this time, the household registration clerk is always hesitant to see me. If he wanted to push it, he came over and said, you push it. As long as you try your best, your son will certainly not blame you. Everyone has to come here many times in his life. Today, you push him for the first time, book his first life cycle, and when he runs out, he will continue on his own! ?

b! Can this life be renewed after it is used up?

Answer yes! After hearing her explanation, I listened to it? Bang! ? Bang, a big stone hanging for a long time finally fell to the ground!

B hi! I'm finally relieved!

Ouch! Comrade household registration officer! Why didn't you say so earlier? Seeing it startled me, and my heart was sweating with cold.

B Then what happened to you?

A it's all hail!

B, hurry up and slow down! Otherwise, people will die soon!

I think I can push my son from one end to the other with my hands!

If your hand was really that magical, it would have turned into a bear's paw!

A when I looked back, there were really several people waiting in line at the back.

B yes! I waited for a long time, just waiting for you to push. It's easy to push!

A Then I'll push it?

B push!

I-I-ouch! Why does my stomach feel a little like going to the toilet?

B look at your little promise!

A was scared just now. Sorry, I'll push it later. Whoever is in a hurry will push first!

B then let the people behind push first!

Behind me is a gay man in his forties wearing a pair of gold-rimmed glasses. I knew at a glance that he was an intellectual. I said, you go first, you push first!

Is he also here to register his children?

A He's here to push himself!

B push yourself! That must be more nervous;

I don't think he is nervous at all, but his expression is quite serious and he looks confident.

Stop. If you continue, you should die heroically!

Seeing him like that, I couldn't help saying casually: just push, as for that serious!

B hi! It's your turn to talk about others this time. It's not that serious!

Guess what he said?

What did b say?

A he said:? This is my second push. When I first pushed 45, I set my life expectancy at 45 according to the instructions on the wheel. From that day on, I began to count down my life. I convert these 45 years into a whole day, which is 16425 days, 394200 hours, 23652000 minutes,1419120000 seconds! ?

This must be a math student, and the calculation is accurate enough!

A he said:? When I first pushed it, the police station conducted a pilot project in our place many years ago. I said, give it a try. I pushed it, and it was 45. In other words, my life expectancy is 45 years. Oh, dear! I was in my thirties at that time! This calculation, my life span is only ten years, even if there are fifteen years! I convert these fifteen years into days, which is 5475 days, into hours, which is 132400 hours, into minutes, which is 7884000 minutes, and into seconds, which is 473040000 seconds! Shit! Shit! Just a little time! Too few! ?

B, there are really not many such calculations!

Answer? I have a lot of things to do! There are still many things to do! It's not that I don't know, it's shock. In the past, I had nothing, but I had plenty of time I think everything is valuable, but time is worthless. ?

B yes! Time comes and goes without a trace, you use it too much, you can't save it without it;

Answer? This account doesn't matter! It hurts in my heart! I watched time pass by me? Hey! Hey! Hey! ? It disappeared, and I realized that this thing is so precious! ?

B of course it's precious! No matter how much it costs, there is nowhere to find it!

Answer? I finally understand that you just do nothing but lie in bed and look at the ceiling for 24 hours a day. Whoosh It's gone all at once! This is called 1440 minutes! This is called 8640 seconds! What's this called? This is a waste of time! This is a waste of life! ?

B: Yes! What a waste of life!

Answer? I used to have the habit of procrastination. If I can't finish today, there will be tomorrow! ?

B Tomorrow will be a new day. How many tomorrows are there!

Answer? It can't be like this anymore, time waits for no one! I must make a life plan for myself at once! ?

B has a production plan, a sales plan, and has never heard of a life plan!

Answer? There it is! I made a whole set of study plan, work plan and life plan for myself, including postgraduate study and doctoral study. This work plan is to own your own enterprise within five years, and to grow the enterprise into 50 million fixed assets within 10 years. Life planning is to marry a beautiful wife who knows accounting as soon as possible, not only to manage my money, but also to have a big fat man. ?

B such a life plan! Have they all come true?

Answer? After that, I will strictly implement my plan according to the countdown to my 45-year-old life. I use this precious time very carefully. I can't wait to break every minute into two halves, and I dare not waste any. I'm taking the time to study, work, get married, have children, and take the time-

Hey, what's going on now?

Answer? Isn't it! I basically realized it! And it was realized one day in advance! ?

A day in advance?

Answer? During this time, I realized that time is more precious than diamonds and more valuable than Mercedes-Benz BMW Villa. I am racing against time to catch up, and I am here today. ?

B Don't you have a day?

Answer? I'm afraid something will be delayed tomorrow. If I can't continue, I'll be in trouble! ?

B said for a long time, your life is so long!

Answer? Yes! This method is good! This method can let you know how much time you still have, and give a definite countdown to your life. Everyone can arrange their lives reasonably and improve their quality of life. If you don't waste time, you don't waste life. After the countdown, you will finish it in one day, which means you are prolonging your life! ?

After all, it is still a game!

Answer? It can't be said to be a game completely, but a lifelong simulation reservation game, because the prize of this game is too special! ?

B life can also be simulated! This is really the reform and innovation of the household registration system! Even the prizes are out of thin air!

Answer yes! I told you everything! Can't take, can't move, can't watch, can't save, and can't buy prizes that have been sold and no one has bought them!

B how else to say precious! So are you going to push it or not?

A: It was finished yesterday! (waving his arm)

Did the notary notarize you?

Both of them! And push the wheel

B hi!