Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Every sentence is sharp and venomous, and I feel bad and desperate after reading it.

Every sentence is sharp and venomous, and I feel bad and desperate after reading it.

1. Drink wine first as a courtesy to those you don’t want to drink, and greet those you don’t want to see with a smile.

2. If you still can’t get out of singlehood, quickly get yourself out of poverty. You can't have no one around you and no money in your card.

3. Good people are not good at all, and bad people are not that bad either. Just when a bad person does a good thing, there seems to be a reason to be forgiven. And as long as a good person does a bad thing, it often means his reputation will be ruined.

4. I would rather be a fearful evil person than a bad good person who is allowed to be slaughtered!

5. It is better to use the time alone to make yourself better, give the people who come a surprise, and give yourself a good explanation.

6. It is really difficult to be friends if you have different views, because your thoughts, experiences, and senses are all different. Just like I said that the sea is beautiful, but you said that many people have drowned.

7. People who are living a bad life will often look back. People who are living a comfortable life have no time to spare.

9. Kindness and love are free, but they are not cheap. Your kindness needs to be a little sharp, and your love needs to have some sense and eyes to recognize people. After all, not everyone can Worth having them.

10. There is no fear of choice, but it is not because of poverty; there is no indecisiveness, but it is not because of cowardice. These 50 sentences are sharp and vicious, but they are all cruel truths in the world.

These are 50 quotes from famous people.

But they are not inspiring at all.

There is not a single good word in it

But every sentence can speak into your heart.

We are not surprised at all that Hemingway and Mark Twain were irritable and difficult to get along with and had a vicious tongue.

How can the gentle and elegant Einstein, Walt Disney, and Audrey Hepburn be sarcastic? !

That's surprising.

If you have had enough of positive energy and freshness.

If you just don’t want to talk properly.

This place can definitely satisfy your dark side.

1

First make sure you have an independent income and then practice virtue. ——Greek proverb

2

Only mediocre people can always remain at their best. —— Jean Gillaud

3

Only two things may have no limit: the universe and human stupidity. But I'm not sure about the former yet. ——Einstein

4

I don’t want to be alone. I just don’t want to be disturbed. ——Audrey Hepburn

5

One of the symptoms of a nervous breakdown is the belief that your work is important. ——Russell

6

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence to succeed. ——Mark Twain

7

My parents had only one fight in forty-five years, and that fight lasted for forty-three years. ——Kathy Lederman

8

Before I got married I had half a dozen theories about raising children; now I have six kids and no theories. ——John Wilmot

9

Adam is the luckiest man in the world. Because he has no mother-in-law. ——Mark Twain

10

A woman who reveals her age is either too young and has nothing to lose or too old to gain anything. ——Chinese Proverb

11

Sometimes I just need one thing that only you can give: your absence. ——Ashley Bryant

12

When we are in our thirties, we want to make friends; in our forties, we realize that friends, like love, cannot Save us. ——F. Scott Fitzgerald

13

Friendship is such a sweet, solid, loyal and undying sacred emotion as long as they don't borrow money from you .

——Mark Twain

14

You said in your poem that I am a fool. Just when I was about to agree, I discovered that you are the one who is related to stupidity. Expert friends. ——Franz Gripatzer

15

It takes two people to ruin a good day. The first person says some really bad things behind your back. The second person is your best friend and can make sure you hear those bad things right away.

16

I don’t need a friend who changes when I change and nods when I do. My shadow can do the job. ——Plutarch

17

Why don’t you drill a hole in yourself so that the stupidity can flow out. ——Groucho Marquez

18

A wise man speaks because he has something to say. A fool speaks because he has something to say. ——Plato

19

How to distinguish misfortune and disaster? It would be unfortunate if Gladstone fell into the Thames. But it would be a disaster if someone dragged him ashore again. ——Benjamin Disraeli (referring to his successor William Ewart Gladstone)

20

"Be yourself" Probably the worst opinion you can give someone. ——Thomas L. Maison

21

If I had a gun, two bullets and were in the same room with Hitler, bin Laden, and Toby, I would Shoot Toby twice. ——Michael Scott

22

I have come to realize the fact that no four people in the world can be friends if everyone knows what others say about them. . —— Blaise Pascal

23

The advantage of keeping a small social circle is that three out of every four murders are committed by someone known to the victim. ——George Carlin

24

Old age means erasing names from the phone book. ——Ronald Bryce

25

Laziness is just a habit of resting before you feel tired. ——Jules Renard

26

There is no need to give advice to smart people, only fools do. ——Bill Cosby

27

Your birth is a mistake that you must spend your life correcting. ——Chuck Palahniuk

28

One person is smart, but a group of people will become stupid, dangerous, and panicked animals at the slightest thing. ——Tommy Lee Jones

29

I would never make the mistake of starting an argument with someone whose opinions don’t deserve respect. ——Edward Gibbon

30

One of the sources of my happiness is not wanting to know other people’s affairs. ——Dolly Madison

31

We should be grateful to idiots. Because we cannot succeed without them. ——Mark Twain

32

The road to the truth is long and full of annoying bastards along the way. ——Alexander Yubrakov

33

I love human beings but I cannot stand crowds. ——Charles Schutz

34

There are two kinds of insults that humans cannot bear: One is that he has no sense of humor. One is that he never knows what trouble is. ——Sinclair Lewis

35

I can’t believe you are the fastest sperm among a hundred thousand. ——Stephen Ball

36

The problem with this world is that fools are confident and smart people are full of doubts. ——Bertrand Russell

37

It is impossible to defeat ignorant people in an argument. ——William G. McAdoo

38

Every morning when I get up, I read the list of the richest Americans in Forbes magazine. If I'm not up there I'm at work.

——Robert Orburn

39

The only way not to worry about money is to have a lot of money. ——Edith Wharton

40

Money cannot buy happiness, but money can be used to pay the salaries of a large research team to study the problem. ——William E. Bill Vaughn

41

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can make your suffering a more pleasant way. ——Spike Milligan

42

Having no money is the source of sin. ——Mark Twain

43

One of the major obstacles to human progress is blind charity. ——Andrew Carnegie

44

People who receive charity always hate their benefactors. This is the nature of human nature. ——George Orwell

45

Get married no matter what. If you marry a good wife you will be happy. If you marry a bad wife you will become a philosopher. ——Socrates

46

My mother once told me that if a married couple put a penny in a jar for every time they had sex in their first year of marriage, Then they took a penny out of the jar every time they had sex. They could never finish the coins in the jar. ——Amistad Maupin

47

Women endure more involuntary sex in marriage than in prostitution. ——Bertrand Russell

48

Never attribute to malice what can be fully explained by stupidity. ——Nick Diamos

49

Stupidity, selfishness and health are the three elements of happiness, but without stupidity nothing can be achieved. ——Gustave Flaubert

50

I have no prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ——W.C. Fields

Finally

If there is anyone here whom I have not insulted I will ask their forgiveness. ——Johannes Brahms Venus's "venomous tongue" jokes, every sentence is hilarious

Venus's venomous tongue is obvious to all, but sometimes her venom is very reasonable. …

About Idols

There is one thing I want to say to the star-chasers again, don’t recognize idols casually

If you want to follow an idol, you must choose carefully.

It's like following a big brother, following a good boss.

Speak loudly, and go out with a bright face!

Following the wrong boss, shame on me

I have to bravely save the boss again and again, with swords and swords in full swing.

Before chasing a star, you must ask yourself, what exactly are you chasing after?

The appearance will age easily and the aura will fade. If your idol does not have an eternal quality and charm, it will always attract and inspire you.

Believe me, sister, your star chaser It’s the beautiful bubbles and phantoms of adolescence!

About the principles of dealing with things

I will not offend others unless they offend me.

If someone offends me, I must be polite.

If someone does it again, I am cutting the grass and roots.

About choosing what kind of man

I will tell my daughter when she grows up!

If a man feels sorry for you when you squeeze into the bus, complains that you don’t eat on time, keeps reminding you to drink less to harm your body, tells you to pay attention to safety when you get home from work on rainy days, and sends funny text messages to comfort you when you are sick...< /p>

Please ignore him!

Then don’t do that crappy job with that person who can drive you, stay with you when you’re sick, take you to meals, pick you up from get off work, and tell you whatever! Spend time with people back home.

No matter how good your words are, it’s better to do something practical!

We have all passed the age of hearing about love. Either give love, give money, or get out!

About love

There is an old saying in China: "Don't be afraid of being late for a good meal!"

Some things in life may not come early, but they have to come. When your love is very beautiful, what you can do is cherish and grasp this love.

About "Luxury"

As long as you don't steal, rob or corrupt

Make money for yourself to enjoy

What's so extravagant?

About "Two kinds of people in life"

There are two kinds of people in this world

One is the one who loves us, the other is the one who hates us people.

We should live a colorful life for those who love us

rather than live a dull life for those who hate us.

About Sexy

A woman’s sexiness is an attitude, it’s your eyes, it’s your confident attitude when no one is watching you in any corner, it’s sexiness of. If you show it on the outside, it can also be called sexy, because when others don't know you, the outside is the first thing they see.

But true sexiness is when you look at the fifth, sixth, or even twelfth eye, you are still sexy. That is real sexiness.

Sexiness is what makes men run after their butts, not what is put on the table

What is put on the table is not sexy, but pork.

About "wine culture"

Our Chinese people's wine culture has been ruined.

What did people do after drinking wine in the past? Compose a poem.

What do people do now after drinking? Start bragging!

About the "circle of friends"

Sometimes, I feel that the entire circle of friends is a "circle of enemies."

Sister Jin summed up a law of enemies in the circle of friends:

As long as you are single, she will definitely post all kinds of intimate photos;

If you As soon as she found a boyfriend, she started showing off her children;

As soon as you showed off your children, you never expected that

She started doing shopping on WeChat.

Sister Jin went through Korean customs, she was so domineering! Well done! Cool!

Applause for you! ! Quotations from Venus' poisonous tongue

1. Sexiness does not rely on exposure or display. The sex in sexiness is by no means just sex on the bed, but must be supported by a part of human nature. Regardless of gender, sexual awareness, personality, and interests, they will make people full. This kind of sex brings rich feelings, and it is not narrow, not vulgar, and not cheap.

2. At the age of 20, fully enjoy the fair rights God gives everyone: freedom! Don’t think too much forward and backward. At the age of 30, think about the responsibilities you should bear in your life, bravely provoke it, don't avoid it, don't dodge it.

3. If you repeat simple things a few times, you will become an expert, but if you do repeated things carefully, you will become a winner.

4. Don’t lose the good nature of a woman, be sincere, life will be sincere to you only if you are sincere to life. If you come to play, you won’t be able to play the whole big background, it’s just that God’s calculations are not as good as those of humans. Many women are stupid and keep playing tricks. I can play with this and that to get what I want for the time being. If I don't see the other things, I will be ruined by a big thing. It's better to preserve a little innocence and sincerity. .

5. From the age of nineteen to now, I have paid for everything I have done, no matter whether it was a mistake or a mistake, whether it was a success or not. A gold star is a gold star.

6. Most people don’t necessarily understand what real sexiness is. Sexiness is labeled by the colored glasses of this society: the front is bulged and the back is tilted, and the neckline goes down. In the final analysis, sexy in a patriarchal society is just a sexual interpretation to satisfy men's sexual reverie. Indiscriminately praising a woman's sexiness is superficially a form of beauty, but invisibly it just coaxes you to consume it along with your sexiness. What’s funny is that more and more women are still trying their best to squeeze into that S and are happy to be consumed.

7. Confidence in beauty cannot be achieved overnight by making up for shortcomings. It must first rely on understanding. You must first understand where a woman’s beauty comes from. So instead of talking about how to appreciate yourself, it is better to say that it is acceptance. The word appreciation comes from the opposite party, while acceptance starts from oneself. To truly understand your own beauty, you should throw away the mirror and accept the world as God threw you from beginning to end.

8. Every relationship you experience is helping you screen men and your inner needs. I like you is a confession; I need you is a recognition. When you have nothing but are determined to meet all challenges, your last card and your strongest trump card is faith.

9. Women, I will give you everything that should be given to you. If you haven’t given it to you yet, just wait. Waiting is a science.

10. Women’s resilience and tension are the basis for changing the world. Every woman has two opportunities to change the world: one is to influence the man, boyfriend or husband around you; the other is to educate your children.

11. A woman’s sexiness is an attitude, it’s the look in your eyes, it’s your confident attitude when no one is watching you in any corner, it’s sexy. If you show it on the outside, it can also be called sexy, because when others don't understand you, the outside is the first thing they see. But true sexiness is when you look at the fifth, sixth, or even twelfth eye, you are still sexy. That is real sexiness.

12. Women are never satisfied with themselves. They never stop in front of the mirror and constantly examine where they are not beautiful enough. Looking at men again, if they look in the mirror and comb their hair, and their tie is not crooked, they can go out confidently. If we want to talk about narcissism, it is men who are really easy to be self-satisfied and self-appreciated. The value orientation of society determines that the pressure of judging people by their appearance always falls on women, so women tend to examine themselves more and doubt themselves. It looks like narcissism, but in fact it is completely unconfident. Appearances vary from person to person, and their facial features have their own personalities. Putting them together is what you get. This balance point is given to you by God. Natural beauty is always in the minority. Of course, it can be repaired the day after tomorrow, but what is being repaired is the shape, and it cannot create the natural and real feeling. Standing in front of the mirror, the vanity that succeeds becomes a cover for self-confidence. I really underestimate the beauty of women. Beauty is by no means a picture of exquisite facial features.

13. I will not offend others unless they offend me. If someone offends me, I will be polite. If someone offends me again, I will eradicate the root cause.

14. If people are expensive, it is useless no matter how expensive the clothes are.

15. If everyone has his own reasons and reasons for coming to this world, then my mission is to convey these messages: kindness, truth, courage and wisdom.

16. If you can’t get this man’s body yet, get his eyes first. His hands may be on another woman's waist, but the way he follows your eyes says appreciation. Well, let him admire it even more.

17. As a reminder, it is best not to find a man who is at the peak of his career. He may be the successful man you want, but you may not be the woman he really needs. Every man's energy, ability and hormones have highs and lows. When he does not reach the climax, he needs a woman to carry him and help him; when he reaches the climax, he will be unbridled and unscrupulous; when he comes down from the climax , he will clearly know what kind of woman he needs. A smart woman should learn when to contact what kind of man. Stay away from a man when he forgets himself. He is unreal at that time.

18. Fill yourself up and wait for opportunities. On the surface, you are tolerant, but in your heart, you are uncompromising. Because even when I endure it, I know in my heart why I am enduring it. It is for a bigger goal and I can go further.

19. I feel that no one’s life can be copied. We can only learn from it, or sigh, the splendor of the world. When you copy others you are no longer yourself.

20. I have always been a woman, but I have been undercover in a man’s world for 28 years, that’s all.

21. Life is really not easy for women nowadays. They have to hold on to their husbands and control their parents-in-law. They have to be sexy when they go out and when they come home. Only in this way can you defeat the mistress and deal with the mistress.

Of course, the most effective way to prevent a mistress is to control his wallet, tighten his waistband, and brainwash him frequently.

22. Some people will also pursue mature men. Maturity does not mean that his financial foundation is mature, but it means responsibility. Mature men must be responsible. You must be responsible for women, society, and what you do, whether it is right or wrong. If I succeed, I will declare it openly and loudly. If it is my fault, I will take responsibility for it. I dare to bear the good and the bad. Even if you are carrying a lot of troubles and misunderstandings, as long as you carry it, time will tell you what you are carrying. I admire men who pay for their mistakes.

23. There are two kinds of people in this world, those who love us and those who hate us. We should live a colorful life for those who love us, not for those who hate us. People live unhappy lives.

24. There are few people who tell the truth in this society, but fortunately there are quite a few people who like to hear the truth. Because: It’s fun to hear the truth!

25. Face your life sincerely. When destiny encounters a choice, what you should listen to is not the voice of others, but the most sincere voice deep in your heart.

26. Ever since I was sent to the United States to learn modern dance when I was nineteen years old, I have established an attitude towards life: live passively.

27. The best thing is not the future, but today