Family classic humor jokes

Collection of family classic humorous jokes

Lead: Life is a big dye vat, with sorrow and joy. Everyone hates sadness and approaches joy. Next, I compiled a set of classic humorous jokes for you, hoping to bring you a little joy.

Collection of family classic humorous jokes (1)

1, my sister-in-law lived in my house last night, my wife was not at home, my son went to bed, and I was playing computer alone in the living room!

In the middle of the night, my sister-in-law is still sleeping with the door open. Her little white arm is too bright in the unlit room, so I can't help getting close. Can't you leave a door for me? I usually go to bed early with the door closed, and the one with a bad heartbeat.

But my conscience forced me to close the door and prepare to continue playing computer. Suddenly my sister-in-law shouted:? Don't close the door! ?

I was ecstatic, opened the door and asked, is it necessary?

Sister-in-law: I can't get on WIFI if I close the door! Leave it on! ?

2. I saw the updated status of my friend who just got married for more than a year today:? It feels so fast to go from a world of two to a home of three. ?

I thought she was pregnant, so I called to congratulate her decisively. I didn't expect people to say: congratulations, my family of three is a third party.

As usual, my father drank some wine and a domestic violence was about to happen.

I can't help asking him: Dad! Why do you drink so much wine? ! ?

Father took a deep breath of his cigarette and said gloomily, general anesthesia will make it less painful to be beaten by his mother. ?

Collection of Family Classic Humorous Jokes (2)

1, having dinner at night, I have leftovers. My father was very angry and taught me: I haven't eaten my bowl since I was a child. How can I beg when I grow up?

/kloc-ran away from home at the age of 0/8. By chance, I saw my family put it on a telephone pole? Looking for you? Tears moistened my eyes. It turns out that my parents still love me.

I took a closer look and it said:? Disability is rewarded. ?

When I was a child, I went to the street with my mother and said, I want to buy a wallet.

As a result, my mother said, girl, how much money can you put down? Keep it here!

4. The difference between mom and dad:

? Dad, who's that kid?

? Xiaoming. ?

? Mom, who is that child?

? It's the child of your second aunt's neighbor Wang Yi's second son. His name is Xiaoming, and he is 3 years old. He is very clever. He can do arithmetic and recite poems.

Collection of Family Classic Humorous Jokes (3)

1, my sister likes to talk nonsense everywhere, and my mother scolds her: Women should keep their mouths shut, and it will be annoying to talk nonsense everywhere. ?

Turned to me and said:? You too. Watch your language. ?

I quickly defended myself: I'm not talking nonsense everywhere. ?

Mom gave me a white look: shut your mouth, or you will become a pig. ?

2. My mother asked me: Why don't you go on a date at the weekend?

I said:? No woman likes me. ?

My mother comforted me: maybe you didn't do well enough. If a woman likes you, what are you willing to do for her?

I didn't think much: anything will do. ?

Mom nodded:? Good boy, mom likes you. Would you like to help her wash the dishes?

Alas, is it really impossible to prevent?

3. I ate too much in the afternoon and lay on the sofa to recuperate. My mother asked me to jump rope to lose weight. I was too lazy to move, so I casually replied? If you don't jump, your kidneys will jump. How can I buy iPhone6?

Mother answered slowly:? Jump, lose weight, exercise kidney function better, and sell it to your father and me at a good price. . . ?

4. Help my mother pick beans today and pick out all the silk in the beans. Mom told me that you don't have to pick silk when it's tender.

After that, my mother picked up a bean and showed it to me: Look at this bean, it is tender, so there is no silk! ?

Then she instantly pulled out a long string of beans.

Mother said coldly: Ta act young

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