A joke that everyone learns from each other.

Teacher: To be honest, do you smoke? Boy a: no teacher: no? Well, French fries, please. A naturally held out two fingers and took them ... Teacher: No? ! Call your parents ... [Scene 2] Teacher: Do you smoke? Boy b: no teacher: no? Well, French fries, please. B took the French fries carefully with her palm, because she heard that Teacher A: Aren't you going to dip in some ketchup? B accidentally dipped too much, and immediately played it with your fingers ... Teacher: The posture of playing ash is very skilled. Call your parents ... [Scene 3] Teacher: Do you smoke? Boy c: no teacher: no, ok, French fries. Because of the first two examples, C carefully finished the French fries with sweat. Teacher: Aren't you going to take a root home for your classmates? C picked up the French fries and put them in his ear ... Teacher: No? Call your parents ... [Scene 4] Teacher: Do you smoke? Boy d: no. Teacher: Good. Have a French fries. Eating French fries in fear. Teacher: Aren't you going to take a root home for your classmates? D carefully put the chips in his upper pocket again. The teacher suddenly shouted: The headmaster is coming! D quickly took the chips out of his pocket, threw them on the ground, and stepped on them with his feet ... Teacher: No? ! Call your parents ... [Scene 5] Teacher: Do you smoke? Boy E: No, Teacher: Fine. Have a French fries. E just took French fries, and the teacher said, won't you invite me to eat? E quickly handed me the French fries with both hands, and then took out the lighter ... Teacher: No? ! Call your parents ... [Scene 6] Teacher: Do you smoke? Boy f: no. Teacher: Good. Have a French fries. I ate it in fear. Teacher: Suddenly shouted: The headmaster is coming! F sweaty palms, but still calmly bowed his head and said, hello, headmaster! Teacher: The headmaster will smell your mouth. F takes out the French fries: No, they are still there. The fire hasn't been lit yet ... [Scene 7] Teacher: Do you smoke or not? Boy G: I swear to God, I will never smoke again. Teacher: You really don't smoke? Ok, let's have a French fries. G naturally took the French fries and ate them clean. Teacher: That's a good boy. What brand of French fries do you usually like? (proudly): Greater China ... [Scene 8] Teacher: Have a French fries. Boy n: thank you, no need. Teacher: ... A middle-aged couple gave birth to three children, but they didn't want them, so they had no choice but to go to the township health center. The person in charge of family planning is an unmarried young woman. Middle-aged couples ask how to stop having children. The young woman said it was very simple, so she threw a box of "tools" and said, "Go home and use it." The old farmer and his wife are very happy to go back. As a result, three months later, I was pregnant again and went to the health care center. The young woman asked what happened. The old farmer said that the thing you gave me didn't have any effect, it was not cooked well, and it was not edible. The young woman said it was not for food, but for use, and then put it on her finger to demonstrate, and the old farmer suddenly realized. As a result, three months later, I was pregnant again. The young woman asked: Didn't you put it on? Answer: Every time you pull on each finger, it just doesn't work. The young woman can't help it, blushing and saying, get on that thing below you! The old farmer suddenly realized. Go home. As a result, three months later, I was pregnant again. The young woman asked: Is there no condom? The old farmer said: a cover is a cover, that is, there is a piece on the head that can't fit in. I'll cut that piece with scissors. This agreement is based on the principle of mutual understanding and mutual respect (that is, the canteen understands the behavior of students, and students respect and adapt to the level of school chefs)! Party B (that is, the canteen) shall meet the following requirements: Article 1: The diameter of fried cakes and pies must exceed 5cm; Article 2: The average number of "cockroaches" in steamed buns shall not exceed three times a week; Article 3: The meat content in meat dishes must exceed 5%, and the sand content in rice must be less than10%; Article 4: Some home-cooked dishes should be labeled with names, or at least students above 10 can distinguish the ingredients; Article 5: Chefs shall not decide the number of meals to be served according to their looks; Article 6: Steamed bread and flower rolls must be intact, at least not bitten by others or left by rodents; Article 7: After each meal is cooked, the chef must taste it in front of at least five students. If he stays in his mouth for more than 10 seconds, he can serve it to the students. Party A (that is, students) shall perform the following terms: No chef's name shall be engraved on the canteen wall, Xiao Qiang's body shall not be hung beside it, and no memorial service shall be held; Article 2: It is forbidden to hit the chef above the neck and below the waist with hard objects that are extremely harmful, such as steamed bread and flower rolls. Article 3: Do not intentionally vomit in front of the canteen staff for the purpose of affecting others' appetite; Article 4: Beautiful girls are not allowed to take more than ten lunch boxes to the window to cook at a time; Article 5: When female students eat steamed buns and Xiao Qiang, who is legally dead, the volume of screaming should not exceed 90 decibels; Article 6: don't use the meals in the canteen as a penalty bet for losing poker; Article 7: When there are "chicken feet" in the dish that day, it is not allowed to collectively put the middle finger of the "chicken feet" on the rice basin for the chef to eat. Both parties must strictly abide by the above terms, and the defaulting party will be fined and eat all the leftovers in the canteen that day. The teacher asked the students to write comments after watching three episodes of juvenile TV series at home in the evening. Xiaoming didn't watch TV series. The next day, he wrote a two-word composition: "Power failure!" "When the teacher saw it, he told him to lie and it was impossible to cut off the electricity. He told him to watch the second episode in the evening and then write another one. Xiao Ming still didn't read it and wrote a five-word composition: "The TV set is broken. "In the geography exam of the highest peak, there is a fill-in-the-blank question on the test paper:" The highest mountain in China is (). Xiao Yong filled out Erlang Mountain without thinking. On the day of marking, the geography teacher called Xiao Yong up: "In class, I said that Mount Everest is 8848.3 meters high, which is the highest mountain in the world. Don't you know? " Xiao Yong said, "I know. But a few days ago, I heard a song about' Two Ya and Two Mountains'. How high is it? I calculated carefully that 1 10,000 feet should be more than 30,000 meters, much higher than Mount Everest! A Guang read the book of genius composition, and said indignantly, "Why did I get a big fork?" ? It's so unfair! It's time, the ancients can write fleeting time, why can't I write fleeting time? "The newly discovered teacher:" What do you think of Li Bai's two poems? "Is there frost on the bright line at the foot of my bed?" ? Student: "Li Bai must be nearsighted." "Advantages of being a teacher Xiao Ming:" It's good to be a teacher. "Teacher:" Not bad, where? Xiao Ming: Reading comics and playing video games don't cost money, just confiscate the students! "Xiao Ming was absent-minded when he had a geography class in the birthplace of Hanshui River. The teacher asked him, "Where does Hanshui, the first tributary of the Yangtze River, originate?" Xiao Ming was so anxious that his head sweated, flashed for a moment and replied, "Sweat originates from his head. "When the physics class bell rang, the teacher was ill, so the headmaster invited teachers from other classes to substitute for him. The students were naturally in a mess, and the teacher threatened to seduce a class, but we still disagreed. At the end of the class, the teacher whispered, "If you talk any more, you won't hear the bell!" " The classroom was quiet. The clever teacher reprimanded the students on duty in the class and said, "The blackboard is so dirty, the rag is dry, and on the globe ..." Then she wiped it with her hand, "It's all gray. "Oh, teacher," said the student on duty, "the place where you put it happened to be the Sahara desert. "It is the duty of the monitor to call the roll in class. There are three "Chen Gang" in the class, which is difficult to distinguish, so they are called Chen Gang No.1, Chen Gang No.2 and Chen Gang No.3, but they are all turned away. The reason is that people have associations such as going to the toilet and diseases. The monitor had a brainwave and decided to call them by their native place: Chen Gang in Hangzhou is called Hanggang, Chen Gang in Wuhan is called WISCO, and the last one is from Fenghua. The monitor blurted out: Fenggang (dung jar). The female teacher drew an apple on the blackboard and then asked, "What's this, little friend?" The children replied in unison: "Ass! "The female teacher ran out of the classroom crying and complained to the headmaster:" The children laughed at people. "The headmaster came into the classroom and said with a serious expression," Why did you make the teacher cry? "ah! And drew a butt on the blackboard! "