What funny jokes can you recommend?

The east wind blows and the war drums beat! Funny Who have we been afraid of?

I am serious about making you laugh~~

1. In order to protect its own trademarks, White Rabbit has registered more than 10 similar trademarks: Big Gray Rabbit, Big Black Rabbit , Big Flower Rabbit, Little White Rabbit, Golden Rabbit, Silver Rabbit... But they still ignored the Little White Rabbit, Big Sun Rabbit, Big Mortar Rabbit, White Rabbit, and Big White Rabbit. It’s really hard to guard against them!

2. The woman asked the doctor anxiously: "What is the survival rate after surgery for this disease?" The doctor replied: "Fifty percent!" The woman asked nervously: "Then are you sure? "The doctor said confidently: "No problem, it will be successful this time! Because forty-nine people have died before!" 3. The little pig woke up from the nightmare and cried to his mother. Said: "I dreamed that I would be a sailor when I grow up, but I don't like being a sailor." Mother Pig stroked the pig's head and said, "Silly boy, don't be afraid, dreams are the opposite." Sure enough, Piggy did not become a sailor, but became a ham.

4. When I was a child, I went to the fields with seven or eight other children to steal sweet potatoes and roast them for dinner. While they were roasting, a buddy said, let’s sworn brothers! Everyone agreed upon hearing this, ordered three corn stalks, inserted them into the ground, kowtowed, and shared the blessings and hardships in the future. The sweet potatoes were roasted and we started fighting because we were dividing the sweet potatoes!

5. My surname is Sun. My father hoped that I could be twice as powerful as Sun Yat-sen, so he gave me a name: Sun Chuanchu. Haha, I feel so tired. . I was on the bus today and accidentally bumped into a pregnant woman. . .

Just when she was about to apologize, she spoke first: "Be careful, will you pay if I squeeze you out?"

This series makes me laugh every time I watch it.

Once upon a time, there was an elk. It was playing in the forest and accidentally got lost. So it called its good friend the giraffe: "Hey... I'm lost." The giraffe heard and replied: "Hey~ I'm a giraffe."

She got angry and ran out of the door. He rushed downstairs to stop her and took the door back.

"Is Zhang Yixing from exo?" "Friend, E is not pronounced" "Oh, is Zhang Xing from exo?"

One day, Meng Po was cooking Meng Po soup. Wanting to taste the saltiness, I took a sip and smiled with satisfaction. Wanting to taste the saltiness, I took a sip and smiled with satisfaction. Wanting to taste the saltiness, I took a sip and smiled with satisfaction. Wanting to taste the saltiness, I took a sip and smiled with satisfaction. Wanting to taste the saltiness, I took a sip and smiled with satisfaction. Wanting to taste the saltiness, I took a sip and smiled with satisfaction

"Lagerstroemia! Lagerstroemia! Have you seen my crape myrtle?!" "Isn't your mouth growing on your face?"< /p>

Speaking of my fate with Beijing, it is also wonderful. During the college entrance examination, Peking University gave our school a recommended place. However, I did not choose to go to Peking University. On the one hand, I did not like the climate in Beijing. On the other hand, I was The person who escorted me was not me.

“I have a buddy who used to be a gangster and was very poor. Later he washed his hands in a golden basin and now he has made a fortune.” “Awesome, how did he get rich?” “Sold the basin. ”

Little fish: big~~fish~~big~~fish~~~what do you like~to eat~?~~~ Big fish: I like to eat small fish that speak very slowly. Xiaoyu: Oh the sauce is made

The young man asked the Zen master worriedly: "Master, nuclear pollution, global warming, earthquakes, tsunamis and other natural disasters continue. Where will mankind go?" The master took out a raw duck egg and a salted duck egg. The eggs were smashed on the young man's head. Asked the young man: "Which one hurts more?" The young man replied: "Salty eggs hurt!" The Zen Master said: "If your idle eggs hurt, just find something serious to do!"

I once singled out an entire city with an AK47 server. . . .

I went out and saw an old man fell down. I asked, "My monthly salary is 2,000 yuan, can I help you up?" A Ferrari is here." The uncle said, "Why don't you leave and be a witness for me. I'll buy you a car to go to work." Although the weather is cold, the uncle's words are warm.

I went to have breakfast this morning and saw that now People! After breakfast, I played games on my phone and chatted on WeChat... When I saw this, I felt inexplicably that society had changed, so I silently took out my Nokia and played Snake...

The child came to his mother crying, and the mother asked: What's wrong, baby? Child: Dad accidentally hit his finger with a hammer. Mom: Then why are you crying? Child: Because I just laughed.

Beef Brisket: "I'm out of the pot and I feel good." Tang asked: "How do you feel?" Beef Brisket smiled slightly: "I feel that my character is shining and full of noble moral values. He has a good education and sentiment." Tang: "What do you mean?" Beef Pork: "It means, I'm not bad enough."

There is a community in the school that is very open and I can talk about anything, so I gave a speech one day. ...A female classmate said proudly on the podium: "I am flat-chested and I am proud of it. I save fabrics for the country..." After saying this, everyone applauded. . Only one person in the corner replied calmly: "Are you kidding me? These days, everyone knows that the bigger the breasts, the less they wear." After saying that, everyone applauded again...

After Beijing 2000 Tens of thousands of people have been breathing for days and nights, and Beijing’s air quality has finally improved. The new Beijing spirit was born from this: "Good virtue carries the fog, self-improvement does not absorb the fog, work hard to create gray and yellow again!" Facts have once again proved: it is expensive to absorb the fog! …

Doctor: “Have you eaten anything randomly lately?” Patient: “No. I just can’t eat the leftovers that my children usually eat. I eat the leftovers that my husband eats. My father eats the leftovers.” I’ll eat what’s left by mom.” Doctor: “I suggest you raise a pig.” Patient: “Why, I’ll eat what’s left by the pig.”

Vicious. The witch cast a spell on the prince, and the prince could only speak one word a year. The prince had a beloved girl, and he kept silent for three years in order to tell the girl I love you. Three years later, the prince hurriedly broke through the door and tripped over the threshold. Prince: "Oh shit!"

Since summer, I have been favored by mosquitoes. There were so many people in this dormitory, but the mosquitoes favored me. So I advised the mosquitoes to be exposed to both rain and dew, but the mosquitoes refused to listen. Mosquitoes, just bite me, just bite me. How can you say that this is the feeling of slavery? Isn't that right? Mosquitoes came to me again last night. They were buzzing and buzzing. I didn't sleep all night. My body is very tired. A little anxious. Last night, my wife tutored my son in his studies. There was a math problem. After reading the explanation several times, my son still scratched his head and didn't understand it. My wife suddenly became anxious and shouted: "How can you be as stupid as your father!" After saying "Slap", he slapped me! I was blinded on the spot... Wife: ''I can't bear to beat my son! Me:...

I was shopping with my wife. I accidentally got fascinated by a beautiful woman wearing a low-cut dress in front of me. I suddenly remembered that my wife was next to me. I was about to explain a few words, but I didn’t expect the second-rate wife to rush in. Go up to the beauty and say: Beauty, my brother said your breasts are so big! Can you let him play for a while? Ten thousand fucks passed by me, and my face was swollen...

Every time a buddy and I go to eat, when paying the bill, he says he has to go to the toilet, and then I pay the bill. This time he finished the meal Before I could pay for the meal, I hurriedly went to the toilet. When I came out, the person was gone. The waiter stopped me and said, "The guy just said that you will pay after you finish using the toilet!" Wipe! ! ! Decisive friends! ! !

It is said that JJ, who has a big nose, was shopping with his wife. A beautiful woman wearing a low-cut dress in front of him accidentally got fascinated by it. He suddenly remembered that his wife was next to him. He was about to explain a few words, but he didn’t expect the wife to be a slut. He rushed up to the beauty and said: Beauty, my brother said your breasts are so big! Can you let him play for a while? Ten thousand of them passed me by, and my face was swollen...

Teacher, you are still a good teacher, not biased