Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - God promised me that he could realize one of my wishes.

God promised me that he could realize one of my wishes.

1.

Zhang Ran is working hard in front of the computer. The eleventh holiday is coming. She told her colleagues and friends that she would travel to Mauritius this year, but in fact she couldn't go anywhere because she had no money. Now that we have blown the bull, we must do the whole drama. Now, we should step up the time chart, and then send the photos to the circle of friends as soon as the 11 th holiday is released, so as to be seamless.

Alas, I was going to Hawaii, but a leprechaun in the office beat me to it. How can Zhang Ran say the same place? I was afraid that others would come with me and get caught, so I immediately moved to a remote place. Fortunately, no one is like me.

The next day was officially a holiday. When Zhang Ran came home from work, he sent a photo of himself pretending to pack his bags, with a sentence: I'm leaving tomorrow, and I'm tired of packing.

Someone left a message at the bottom: Where are you going?

Wow, are you going out to play? I envy you.

Be safe on the road.

Zhang Ran looked at these people's messages and praises, and she was very satisfied. But after she was happy, she had to take out everything in the suitcase and put it back.

2.

Although the next day is a holiday, Zhang Ran is not going out. There are crowds everywhere. She doesn't want to meet acquaintances in a crowded way. She still remembers a joke that two acquaintances met while shopping in the market, but neither ignored each other nor pretended not to see each other, because at this time in the circle of friends, there should be one person in the United States and the other in Australia. When I first heard this joke, Zhang Ran smiled, but it made me laugh very sadly, because this joke is simply a true portrayal of myself.

Eating take-away, Zhang Ran picked up his mobile phone and skillfully sent the photos that had already been ps to his circle of friends. Nine photos were arranged in a row to form a nine-square grid, which was perfect.

Messages swarmed at the bottom of the photo: Wow, where is this? It's beautiful.

Envy and jealousy.

Beauty with beautiful scenery, beautiful.

Where does Ran Ran work now? She is really successful in my official career.

Looking at these people's messages, Zhang Ran couldn't help laughing.

"Do you like to be flattered, woman? Really. " This sudden sound scared Zhang Ran to hold back a smile. She looked left and right, and there was only one person at home. Is it a pervert killer who has long been lurking?

She raised the chopsticks in her hand and shouted in horror, "Who is it? Come out quickly, or I will call the police!" " "

"Call the police? You must be able to report it. " It's just a voice, not a person.

"ah! Damn it, help! " Zhang Ranran ran out, with a mobile phone in his left hand and chopsticks in his right hand, without shoes.

She went downstairs and sat on the edge of the flower bed. She was about to call the police when her voice rang again. "I won't say. If you want to call the police, you must be able to call the police. "

Zhang Ran looked at her mobile phone trembling, because she already knew who was talking. Yes, it's her cell phone. "Mobile phone, is that you? Are you talking to me? "

"Yes, I'm talking to you."

Zhang Ran was so scared that he threw his mobile phone on the ground.

"You are so willing to throw me on the ground. I remember that this mobile phone is quite expensive? " The phone said again.

At this moment, Zhang Ran remembered that his mobile phone was really expensive, and it was paid in installments. She tried to pick it up, but she still dared not. She hesitated and asked, "Who are you? Is it really my mobile phone? "

"No, I am your circle of friends."

"What? Can the circle of friends be thinner? " Zhang Ran can't believe it.

"Who said I was a demon? I am a god. "

"God, my circle of friends has become God, a circle of friends? This is really funny. "

Several passers-by looked at Zhang Ran with strange eyes. Knowing that she must be like a psycho now, she stepped forward and picked up her mobile phone and whispered, "Well, even my mobile phone can talk, so I'll believe you once, but you have to tell me what's going on and why your circle of friends suddenly appeared?"

"I'm not from a circle of friends, I'm a god, but I made a little mistake and was punished and bound in your circle of friends."

"So that's it. What mistakes have you made? How long have you been in my circle of friends? Why did it suddenly appear at this time? "

"What mistake did I make? This is a secret. Of course not. As for when I will enter your circle of friends, it will take a year or two. Why do I show my spirit at this time? Because I really can't stand vanity, I send fake pictures in my circle of friends every day. You are too vain. "

Although the fact is such a fact, Zhang Ran doesn't think he is vain at all. Who let those goblins in the company show off their wealth every day and hang out by themselves? How can they make others compare and look down on them?

"I have no vanity. Obviously, others show off their wealth first, and they may also send fake pictures, which are ps's. I am definitely not the only one who has done this. " Zhang Ran argued.

"So knowing your difficulties, as a god living in your circle of friends, I decided to grant you a wish."

Zhang Ran was shocked again. I didn't expect good luck to come like this. "I have to think about it. After all, there is only one chance. However, I want to ask, since you are a god, you can still make it clear. Can you be an adult now? I feel stupid talking to my mobile phone like this. "

"Of course."

As the words sound just fell, a beautiful man appeared in front of Zhang Ran.

3.

"Have you thought about your wish?" Beauty, it should be asked by the male god.

Zhang Ran is a little shy. "No, I have to think it over. Why not give me more places to wish, or my wish is to realize all my wishes. "

"Don't be too greedy, or it will backfire."

Zhang Ran nodded. "Okay, I see. Please give me a few more days. I will definitely give you an answer before this holiday. "

"Ok, I promise."

In the next few days, the male god didn't return his cell phone, and he still lived with Zhang Ran in the form of a male god. He has been waiting for Zhang Ran's reply. Zhang Ran is really trying to think about what kind of wish she wants to make, to get money, and a life with only money and no feelings is not what she wants. To get love, no, only love can't be without economic foundation. Her career is booming, not to mention that she is not a person who is devoted to her career.

Living with the goddess these days, Zhang Ran feels that life is much more convenient. Time to eat. When the male god orders a table, it is a hearty meal. When the room is dirty, there will be more male gods, and the room will be brand-new immediately.

I don't know if I have gradually become dependent on the male god, or because he is too considerate. On this day, Zhang Ran suddenly said this sentence: "I have made up my mind. Why don't you be my boyfriend? You can't leave my circle of friends anyway. We don't know how long we will live together. "

There was a silence. Just when Zhang Ran regretted saying this, the male god replied, "Well, in fact, I always hoped that your wish would be like this."

4.

After that, Zhang Ran lived a shameless life with the male god, and she gave the male god a name, Shen Nan, a homophonic male god.

Zhang Ran, who fell in love for the first time, didn't expect the taste of love to be so beautiful. Zhang Ran, with her boyfriend, was envied when friends had dinner in the middle of the month. At the company party at the end of the month, Shen Nan went to pick her up, which made the goblins in the same company show jealous expressions. Zhang Ran's vanity value directly rushed to the peak.

When she got home, Zhang Ran suddenly felt a little sad. She hugged Shen Nan gently and said, "It's very kind of you, but I don't know how long you can stay with me. I really want you to stay with me all the time. "

Shen Nan patted him on the back and comforted him, saying, "Don't worry, I have to bind your circle of friends for a few years anyway. When the punishment expires, I will ask God to let him see that I will be allowed to spend the rest of my life with you without any dissatisfaction with the gods. "

"Really?" Zhang Ran held on even tighter, and she was not sure whether Shen Nan's idea could be established.

Shen Nan hugged her back: "Of course it's true. When have I ever said something that doesn't count? "

However, Zhang Ran is still vaguely uneasy.

5.

Finally, the feeling of uneasiness suddenly became a reality. On this day, Zhang Ran came home from work and didn't see Shen Nan all over the house. At this time, Shen Nan should have changed a table, waiting for her to have dinner together. They lived together for half a year, every day. Why did they suddenly disappear today?

Zhang Ran took out his mobile phone and asked it, "Shen Nan, are you in there?"

There was no response for a long time, and then she asked, "Shen Nan, aren't you in there? Then where have you been? "

"He went back."

"Who's talking?" Zhang Ran looked back and saw an old man talking to her.

"Who are you?" Although she has vaguely felt that the old man is also a god, she still can't help but ask.

"You should guess that I am as god as that man named Shen Nan."

"What about him? Why are you here when he is gone? "

"Because he broke the ring and went back to accept another punishment, I punished him in your circle of friends and let him feel the fireworks, in order to let him feel the suffering of mortals, not to let him fall in love. During this time, I advised him to break up with you as soon as possible, but he refused to listen to me, ignored my words and even wanted to accompany you to death. How is that possible? It is simply a big rebellion. "

"So you took him away!" Zhang Ran felt a sigh of relief stuck in his heart, and he couldn't get down or up.

"Yes, I sent him away."

Zhang Ran's eyes filled with tears. "How could you do that? Have you ever thought about how I feel? Do you think mortals deserve to be played by you when they leave? "

The old fairy took out a handkerchief and handed it to her. "We also think this is wrong. He provoked you first, and I took him away by force. So we protoss can give you two choices to compensate you. "

Zhang Ran bowed his head and ignored him. The old fairy continued: "First choice, you can still meet him, but you can't be together for a long time. You can only see him once a year, just like the legend of the cowherd and the weaver girl. "

Zhang Ran looked up and seemed to move.

The old fairy went on to say, "the second choice is that you will never see him again and cut off his thoughts." In addition, we will give you some compensation, money, beauty and wisdom. You and your family are healthy, you can live to be a hundred years old and die safely, and you will have a happy marriage. Anyway, this compensation is reasonable, but you can only choose one of these two options. "

"I choose the second one." Zhang Wei said.

The old fairy fainted. "Although your choice is in my expectation, I didn't expect you to be so firm. I thought you would hesitate. "

Zhang Ran, give him his handkerchief back. "Now that you have predicted what I have to twist, you also said that mortal life is bitter. For my future, I can only choose this way. I will answer you quickly. I will avoid the idea that I know what to choose in my heart, but I will still be entangled. "

The old fairy nodded, "I understand, you are mortal after all? Have a good rest. Wake up tomorrow and you will see a whole new world. "

6.

The next morning, Zhang Ran was greeted by a brand-new world. Zhang Ran's identity is completely different from before. She is now the daughter of the chairman of a large enterprise and a returnee who graduated from an American college. She is beautiful and full of wisdom. All her previous friends have come true, and she is no longer a fake picture of ps.

She used to work incognito in that small company just to exercise herself. Now that the exercise period is over, she will resign and go home to start a business.

When Zhang Ran handed in his resignation letter from the manager's office, he proudly packed his things, and his colleagues changed their faces one by one and surrounded him with flattery. "Ran Ran, I didn't expect you to be the daughter of group B. I told you, on your first day, I knew you were different from us. Your temperament is so good that you are educated by a rich family. "

"Yes, both temperament and knowledge are much higher than us."

"Ran Ran, is your company still short of people? I've always wanted to jump ship. If there is an opportunity, please introduce it to us. "

"Yes, I also want to go ..."

Zhang Ran picked up the carton and smiled. "If there is an opportunity, I will definitely think of you when I have the opportunity. My driver is still waiting for me downstairs. I'll go first. "

She came to the elevator and waited for it. As the elevator door opened, her colleague Yu Yang just stepped out of the elevator. "Are you leaving?"

Zhang Ran smiled politely. "Yes, I have to go. I will contact you later. "

Everyone knows that Yu Yang likes her. He disagreed when he stated himself before. Now that his identity has completely changed, he can't agree. She hurried into the elevator, trying to get rid of each other's hot eyes at once.

"So I can't contact you if I have nothing to do?" He asked at the moment of closing the door, and before he could answer, the elevator door closed.

Two years have passed, and Zhang Ran has become accustomed to the princess-like life. The life of the rich is really great. Sometimes she can't help thinking, why didn't good luck come earlier and let her live this fantastic life earlier? But it's also good. After a hard time, she will cherish the hard-won life even more. There is only one thing that the old fairy promised but never came true, and that is her happy marriage. Why is this marriage postponed? She put down her coffee with relief, picked up her brand-name bag and prepared to go to the bar for a carnival.

As soon as the car left the garage, it hit a man, but the man didn't fall. Instead, he stood there and blocked Zhang Ran's car. Zhang Ran got off the bus and was about to argue with him, but he saw a familiar face.

"Shen Nan ..." She subconsciously called out his name.

Shen Na looked back. "Long time no see."

"Yes, long time no see, I thought I would never see you again. Has your punishment expired? Have you ...? ... come to see me? "

"Yes, come and get your soul."

Zhang Ran blinked, at that time didn't understand. "What are you talking about? Take my soul away. "

"Yes, take your soul. When we were together, you never asked me, so I didn't say that I am God, but God also has his work, so I am responsible for taking other people's souls. " He paused. "Yes, I am death."

Zhang Ran, regardless of the former mutual affection and present elegance, shouted like a madman: "Impossible. The old fairy promised me a long life. How can she break her word now? Where is the old fairy? I want to see him. He said he would make it up to me. How can she let me die now! "

Shen Nan answered her without any emotion: "You won't die, but you just have no soul. Your body will still live a long life in this world and enjoy endless wealth, but that's just exorcism and walking dead. Your soul will go to hell and be punished by your vanity and greed every day. "

"No, what's the matter? Old fairy didn't say that at first. He didn't tell me this. "

"If he told you, would you still choose these? You don't want to think, are you worthy of these now? This compensation is a bit too generous for you. "

"So you did this game and let me jump in. Are you immortals waiting for the play? Are you happy to fool me? ! "

"They are happy to play with you, but I'm not. I asked them to give you one more choice. If you had chosen me, you wouldn't be like this now. " Shen Nan took out a pair of ropes and put them around Zhang Ran's neck. "At the beginning, I really loved you." He gently picked up the rope and pulled it forward. Zhang Ran's soul left his body with the rope.

Death takes this rope slowly to the gate of hell. Zhang Ran looked at his body with tears in his eyes. The body just stood there waiting for a while. After a while, he didn't respond. He got in the car and started the engine.

7.

Zhang Ran opened his eyes and stared at the pale ceiling. "Where am I? Is this hell? "

"No, this is human." The speaker looked at her carefully. It was Yu Yang.

"What brings you here? Besides, why am I not in hell? "

Yu Yang deadpan, don't see the emotions of emotions, "because we saved you back, I know a friend, he is a master, I trouble him to protect your safety, if anything happens to you, you must try your best to help you. I'm sorry, Ran Ran, I acted on my own initiative, but it's all because I love you so much. Even if you don't love me, I will still love you. "

Zhang burst into tears. "What are you sorry for? You saved my life. But can that master have such great power to help you save my soul from death? You know, those gods never do anything at a loss. "

"Yes, so in exchange, I gave him my soul." Yu Yang light said.

Zhang Ran was shocked. "What do you mean you go to hell for me?"

Yu Yang is still deadpan nodded. Zhang Ran finally knew why he was expressionless and without emotion, because his soul was gone, and he went to hell to suffer for himself.

She hugged him, and tears flowed down wantonly.

"Zhang Ran, you don't like me." Yu Yang tried to get rid of his arms, but Zhang Ran held them tighter. "No, I like you."

"Really?"

"Really."

Zhang Ran finally knew that the old fairy didn't lie to her, and this was her happy marriage.

Yu Yang hugged her back, and she would never know that she was madly in love with him. Two years ago, she finally got in touch with God through various means. He made a wish to God, hoping to make Zhang Ran fall in love with himself.

"Ok, I promise." God said.

"No, I don't want her to fall in love with me inexplicably because you used magic. I want her to love me willingly and I want her to be happy. "

"Well, I promise you, but it will cost you a lot of money. Will you? "

"I will do whatever it takes." Yu Yang answered without hesitation.