Humorous stories of psychological decompression

Humorous stories about mental health: 1. One day, a lobster and a hermit crab met in the deep sea, and the hermit crab saw that the lobster was taking off its hard shell and revealing its delicate body. Hermit crab said nervously, "lobster, how can you give up the only hard shell that protects your body?" Aren't you afraid that a big fish will eat you? In your present situation, even a torrent will wash you to the rocks, so why don't you die? "The lobster calmly replied," Thank you for your kindness, but you don't understand that every time we lobsters grow, we have to take off our old shells to grow stronger shells. The danger we are facing now is only to prepare for better development in the future. "Hermit crabs think about it. They just look for places to hide all day, but never think about how to become strong. They just live under the protection of others all day. No wonder they always limit their own development. Second, try again. A young man went to Microsoft to apply for a job, and the company didn't publish a job advertisement. Seeing the general manager puzzled, the young man explained in broken English that he was passing by and rushed in. The general manager thought it was very new, so he made an exception and let him try it. The interview result was unexpected, and the young people performed poorly. He explained to the general manager that he had not prepared in advance, and the general manager casually replied, "Try again when you are ready. "A week later, the young man walked into the door of Microsoft again, and this time he still failed. But compared with the first time, his performance is much better. The general manager gave him the same answer as last time: "Try again when you are ready. "In this way, the young man stepped into the door of Microsoft five times and was finally hired by the company, which became the key training object of the company. Third, buy cigarettes to buy cigarettes. Smoke 29 yuan, who has no matches, said to the clerk,' Send a box of matches by the way.' The clerk didn't give it. B went to buy cigarettes, cigarettes 29 yuan, he didn't have matches, so he said to the clerk,' Let's get a dime cheaper. Finally, he bought a box of matches with his hair. This is the simplest psychological marginal effect. The first type: the shopkeeper thinks that he has made money on one commodity and not on another. The feeling index of making money is one. The second type: the shopkeeper thinks that both goods have made money, and the profit index is two. Of course, psychological tendency is the second. Similarly, this kind of psychology is also manifested in the trick of buying one and getting one free. Customers think that one thing is earned without paying, but it is actually a psychological marginal effect. Another way can often have unexpected results! Usually many things will get different results if they are done in different ways. On the road of life, it is very important to improve the mental model and way of thinking. This clever boy has a little boy. One day, his mother took him to the grocery store to buy things. When the boss saw the lovely child, he opened a can of candy and let the little boy help himself to a handful of candy. But the boy did nothing. After several invitations, the boss personally grabbed a handful of sugar and put it in his pocket. When I got home, my mother asked the little boy curiously, why don't I grab the candy myself and let the boss do it? The little man answered brilliantly: Because my hands are smaller! Moreover, the boss has bigger hands, and he must take a lot more than me! Two monks and two monks live in temples on two adjacent mountains. There is a stream between the two mountains. Two monks go down to fetch water at the same time every day. Unconsciously, five years have passed. Suddenly one day, the monk on the left mountain didn't go down to fetch water. The monk on the mountain on the right thought, "He may have overslept. I don't agree. " But the next day, the monk on the left mountain still didn't go down to fetch water, and so did the third day. Until a month later, the monk on the right mountain thought that my friend might be ill. So he climbed the mountain on the left to visit his old friend. When he saw his old friend playing arhat boxing in front of the temple. He asked curiously, "You haven't carried water down the mountain for a month. Can you not drink water? " The monk on the mountain on the left pointed to a well and said, "In the past five years, I have finished my homework every day and took time to dig this well. Now, finally let me dig out the water, so I don't have to go down the mountain to fetch water, and I can have more time to practice my favorite arhat boxing. " Related to mentality 1 A mother took a taxi to pick up her daughter in junior high school. When the mother and daughter passed a certain section, they saw a group of coquettish girls standing on the side of the road "doing business". The adolescent daughter asked curiously, mom, what are those women doing standing by the road? In order not to affect her daughter's innocent mind, the mother replied, "Those women are waiting for their husbands. The talkative taxi driver replied, "That's funny. Everyone knows that those women are women. " Deng Ma gave the driver a hard look. The daughter then asked, "Mom, will that J girl have a baby?" "Mom said coldly," Of course, otherwise who will drive the taxi! 2. One day, a lady went to buy meatballs. Miss: Boss, I want two small ones to go! Because business was good, after a while, the boss was afraid of making mistakes in his busy schedule and asked, miss? Are those two small? The young lady blushed and replied bitterly, Boss, your two pills are small! There is a woman who is pink. Unfortunately ... even though she is ugly, she is more rude ... once ... she was arranged to go on a blind date ... but the hero didn't show up for a long time ... This woman didn't wait patiently ... and began to swear ... Wow, Lill ... how dare you keep your mother waiting for so long ...&; % $ & amp^$%#@! $! % ... At this moment, the hero appeared ... It was a fat man ... This woman was even more angry after seeing it ... So she scolded a bunch of ... pointing at the hero and cursing ... The fat man ...% $ @ #&The hero finally got angry ... Strike the table ... and loudly say ... He called me fat ... At least I lost weight ... You. Just as three children passed by, the president said to them, "If you save me, I will give each of you a wish.". "The first child said he would. He asked the third child, "Why do you want a wheelchair? The third child said, "If my father knew I was going to save you, he would break my leg." Let me try. Notice the list on the left. Oh: Joker: August 2006-1715: 06 Reply to this speech- The first man said to the boss, "Boss, I want an fried egg, but no yolk." "The boss fried an egg. The second man also said to the boss, "boss, I want an fried egg, not egg white." The boss did the same, but he was a little impatient. When it was the third person's turn, the boss asked him rudely, "What about you? What don't you want for your eggs? The third person said timidly, "I ... I don't want eggshells ..." 6. Buying underwear One day, a gentleman went to buy underwear for his wife, because he never bought underwear for his wife, so he didn't know which size to buy! After chatting with the clerk for a long time, the clerk had to describe the fruit! Shop assistant: papaya? ! Sir: No! Don't! Shop assistant: apples? ! Sir: no, no,no. Shop assistant: Lotus mist? ! Sir: smaller! Shop assistant: eggs? ! Mr. Wang said happily: Yes! Yes! Yes! When the clerk understood and turned to get the underwear, the man suddenly shouted, Miss, wait a minute! It's bombing 7. Xiaohong and Xiao Qiang had a terrible argument ... Xiaohong said disdainfully, "Hum! Your mother should have strangled you when she gave birth to you! Xiao Qiang said with an extremely contemptuous eye, "Really? "I think your dad should shoot directly at the wall!" Xiaohong: "? . ? 8. A 70-year-old mother was driving slowly on the provincial road with three old people who were also mothers. The traffic police stopped him and said, "mom, you drive so slowly, which affects the traffic." Mother said, "Didn't that sign say 20? "The traffic police said," That's Highway 20! The mother who was driving said, "Oh! Oh! What is that highway, not the speed limit! " The traffic police said, "Yes, doubt ~? Why are the other three mothers behind you so ugly? The mother who was driving replied, "We just drove from Highway 245! 9. wet dream! In the bookstore, suddenly Ah Zhu's eyes lit up, and she saw a book called Dreams on the Grassland. "wet dream" actually landed, which is amazing! Call jen to see it quickly. Ahua also opened it excitedly and took a closer look. Only then did I suddenly find that the directory said, "Dream of staying on the grassland. Arjun was disappointed and said unhappily, I want to publish a book called The Moon Always Hanging in the Sky 10. Two caterpillars are crawling on the grass. The male caterpillar said to the female caterpillar, shall we go back? How about going home? Mother caterpillar said, good! When the pair of caterpillars returned to the mother's house, the male caterpillar found that the mother caterpillar was wearing a wedding ring. The male caterpillar said, I don't do this with the married female caterpillar. The female caterpillar said, Don't worry! My husband won't come back, said the male caterpillar. How can you be so sure! The mother caterpillar said, "He got up early today" and went fishing. Author: heartbroken love +07 15: 06 reply to this statement-strong 12 vicious joke ~ laugh till my stomach hurts (turn) 1 1. When a man passed a house, a used condom suddenly flew down from the second floor window and landed on his head. The man felt sick and upset, so he went to the door of the house and knocked hard at the door. An old man opened the door and asked him why he knocked so hard. Someone asked, "Who lives on the second floor?" The old man replied, "What does this have to do with you? My daughter and her fiance live on it. " The man handed the condom to the old man and said, "Well, I just want to tell you that your grandson fell from the window."