Happy event, an ancient and modern joke

Happy event, an ancient and modern joke

Happy event: Zhuge Liang's experience tells us that there is more room for development in private enterprises than in state-owned enterprises. More wonderful jokes are in the joke column, welcome to enjoy!

A happy moment (1) 1. Guan Yu got the news of Liu Bei in Cao Ying and immediately left with his sister-in-law. Sister-in-law asked Guan Yu: There are many checkpoints ahead. Uncle, can you be sure?

Guan Yu took off his clothes and rode on the red rabbit horse, saying, Sister-in-law, don't worry. I will destroy them first. ?

2. In 233 AD, Liu Chan ascended the throne, ignoring the state affairs all day long, drinking and eating meat, and having a big belly.

Bright see displeasure, speak frankly:? Your Majesty, do you remember the last words of my late emperor?

Zen:? Don't worry too much about military affairs, I keep it in mind. Don't stop eating small meals and don't stop being hungry. ?

3. One day, Liu Bei and Zhang Fei were drinking. Seeing that it was getting late, Liu Bei said to Zhang Fei. Third brother, it's getting late. We have enough time to finish this cup. ?

Who knows that Zhang Fei laughed at Liu Bei's face. Ha ha! Big brother looks really drunk, and second brother's name is Yunchang! ! ! ?

Hua tuo treated Guan Yu with poison. Then he asked Liu Bei:? What do you value most as the overlord?

Liu Bei replied:? Rende! ? Then Liu Bei asked Hua tuo:? As a famous doctor, what is the most important thing for you?

Hua tuo replied:? Medical ethics! ?

Aside Zhang Feihong face shouted. Doctor! I thought we agreed to keep our business secret! ?

5, Battle of Red Cliffs, Cao Cao spies to report:? I heard that Zhuge Liang wanted to borrow the east wind in order to attack our army! ?

Cao Cao laughed and said, Zhuge Cunfu is just playing tricks. There is nothing to be afraid of. ?

The next morning, Cao Cao was awakened by the alarm on the other side of the river. Dongfeng 2 1-D in position, target locked, ready to launch! ?

Happy moment (2) 1, I envy Big Wolf. He has a strong wolf castle, a Hong Tailang who will never leave him, a lovely gray, and a stable job of catching sheep!

2. Wukong was crushed under Wuzhishan, and he was utterly confused and anxious.

On this day, I saw an old farmer coming up the hill with a hoe. I was overjoyed and shouted: idiot! It is you. ?

3. the Monkey King complained to Tang Priest: Master, every time you are taken away by a female monster, my old grandson gets a headache. I'm afraid you'll die if I come late, but I'm afraid you won't enjoy yourself if I come early!

4、? Dynasty Mahan Zhang Long Zhao Hu! ?

? Yes! ?

? Mahan of Zhao Hu dynasty in Zhang Long! ?

? Yes! ?

? Zhang Long Mahan Dynasty Zhao Hu! ?

? Yes! ?

? Zhao Hu. . . ?

? Master Bao, what's wrong with you?

? Nothing, just watching that yelling. ?

. . .

5. Wukong, you should be as broad-minded, broad and plump as this benefactor, and soft to pinch, so that you can sleep better for the teacher. . . -Tang's monk YinXiao way

Cold jokes in ancient and modern happy event (3) 1, gulong edition.

Liu:? Won't you invite me in?

Liang:? Why?

Liu:? Because I'm here. ?

Liang:? I know. ?

Liu:? You are at home. ?

Liang:? I also know that. ?

Liu:? Then why don't you let me in?

Liang:? Because I'm on guard. ?

Liu:? Are you afraid of my cheating?

Liang:? I need to watch out for anyone I don't know, unless he is a dead man. Only the dead can reassure everyone, and there is no need to guard against it. ?

2. Jing M.Guo Edition

He is Liu Bei. After Wang Jing of Zhongshan, he stood outside the thatched cottage.

The heavy snow fell in his dark warm eyes and on his limited edition robe hand-sewn with Mediterranean linen. He couldn't help grasping the Bohemian retro double-stranded sword with a price of 1628 gold inlaid with jade in Longquan Sword Casting Workshop.

The sword is cold and the heart is hot.

The two most handsome and loyal men in the world, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei, stood behind him, their eyes burning with anger, but he only saw the boy sleeping in the hut.

3. Ministry of Foreign Affairs Edition

There have been some rumors in the world recently. Some forces, including Cao Cao Group, attacked us, saying that we threatened Mr. Zhuge Liang, a famous scholar, inventor and politician, and forced him to serve our staff department.

What we want to emphasize is that our Liu family has always adhered to the position of respecting and protecting intellectuals, and will not take drastic actions in hiring military advisers in the past and in the future.

We urge ICY to respect the facts and stop making irresponsible remarks.

4. Translated version

God, my old buddy, do you know why I came here three times?

Damn it, for God's sake, why not invite me in for a cup of tea? He's sleeping? It's incredible. Who gave him such confidence? What could be more exciting than waiting for my uncle to visit?

Hey, if you don't come out of the mountain again, I'll kick your ass with my boots. I swear, I will!

5. Shakespeare version

Dear sir, please open the door. Otherwise, open a gap in this curtain and let me see your wise face. Do you know that I am waiting here night after night, dreaming of restoring the glory of the big man with you? Look at the sunset, the moon rises, Leona cares for the earth again, and the morning dew on the grass is dry. Why don't you understand my mind?

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