What are the funniest dialects in Sichuan?

Two Sichuanese traveled to Beijing and looked at the map in the car. "We will kill Tiananmen first, then Zhongnanhai ..." Unfortunately, it was reported by people in Beijing. After getting off the bus, he was handed over to the public security organ, explaining the situation and being released n days later. Standing in Tiananmen Square, looking at people coming and going, they were speechless. A couldn't help it: "Why don't you talk?" B: "How dare I speak if you don't speak?" The words sound just fell and he was sent to jail again. Sparrows and crows form a dragon gate array together. The sparrow said, what kind of bird are you? The crow said: I am your phoenix! Sparrow: How can a phoenix be as black as your turtle son? Crow: You know shovels. I'm a Phoenix sulfur-burning boiler. A teacher assigned a task to her students, making sentences with "pleading" and "demanding". After the exercise book was handed in, one of them answered all his life: Yesterday my mother stewed a pot of pig's trotters. When it was not ripe, my father ate a piece and said, "Please don't move." Mom said, "I ask you to chew!" " "The plane shook violently. Stewardess: "Ladies and gentlemen, there is always something wrong with the plane. Two engines are broken. We may be late. "Passenger:" When carrying your mother, it is a wave. If all four engines were old, we wouldn't spend the night in the sky. There were many people on the plane, some carrying snakeskin bags, some carrying live chickens and ducks, and the security inspector was sweating: "Backpack, you have to buy tickets, you are overweight and old." "Why? Last time, two sacks of potatoes made me too old. " Another passenger leaned in and said, "Come on, brothers, have a cigarette and look at my live chicken bag. If there is no room in the cabin to tie them to the wings of the plane, these balls will be old. Anyway, they can fly by themselves, without consuming the oil of the plane ... "The reporter asked the bus fire survivors: Is there a hammer on the bus? Survivor: There is a hammer! Reporter: Do you have a hammer? Why didn't you break the window? Survivor: Mod! A hammer! A hammer! Reporter: What? There are two hammers? Survivor: Oh, there's a shovel! Reporter: Shovel? That can also be used to smash windows! Survivor: smash a hammer window! Reporter: it's breaking a window, not a hammer ... Survivor: Oh, I'll tell you a hammer! Reporter: I said the window! Survivor: Hammer! Reporter: What's in the car? Survivor: There is a wool! Reporter: Oh, no wonder it burns so fast! Summary: Be sure to bring a hammer when you go out. If you don't have a hammer, you should get close to it. If you have a hammer, you should hold it tightly. Where there is a hammer, there is a hammer.