Can you help me find some jokes about doctors? We are going to draw a sketch.

B: Here we are! Let me introduce myself. I am a famous doctor here. Why am I so famous? Because I am different from other doctors, I think most of my patients. To see my patient come in and climb out. (Wait for the audience to finish laughing) Oh, no, climb in and come out. Let's start seeing a doctor. Call one in. (Look at the list). Number one, surnamed Bai, cataract. Number two, surnamed Wei, has stomach bleeding. Number three, surnamed Niu, cowhide moss. Come on, you three, go in first. ?

Doctor, me? I

B: What's your date? ?

A: I'm fourth. ?

B: The next batch. ?

Next? Hey, why do you think I'm so unlucky? Whatever it is my turn, it's the next batch. A while ago, a cadre was promoted in our unit and came to me. Next batch? . I will retire in the next batch. Let me introduce myself. My surname is Shan, which is a word. I put the word "good" in one hundred surnames. My name is Sam Guo Rui, and I'm not feeling well these two days. I may have caught a cold. I came to see a famous doctor. It is said that this doctor is particularly responsible for his patients. It's time to call my number next time. I'm coming.

What's next? (A snuggles on B's shoulder, B takes a step, followed by A.. ) You are disgusting at first sight. ?

You can't come here unless you are ill. ?

B: Next, breathe with one mouth. ?

A: (Look around) Who means breathing with one mouth? ?

B: What uneducated parents have such an ugly name! ? ?

A: There's only one breath left. Look at that. ?

Not yet? Don't promise me to get off work! ?

Hey, what about me, doctor? ?

Oh, here's another one. What's your date? ?

A: On the 4th, you said I would take the next batch.

You only breathe with one mouth! ?

My name is Sam Guo Rui! Take a closer look! ?

Oh, yes, Sam Guo Rui. ?

A: What look! Mountain Guo Rui thinks this is one-sided breathing. ?

Mountain Guo Rui! Is it uncomfortable there? ?

I just have a cough and asthma. ?

Not yet. A mouthful of asthma. ?

A: Doctor, I heard that the conditions here are particularly good. (glance left and right) Why is there nothing? ?

B: A mouthful of asthma. (A: Shan Guo Rui. ) Oh, yes, Sam Guo Rui. What do you think is wrong with you? ?

I guess I am? You still have to estimate. I think I have a cold. ?

You are very clever! You say a cold is a cold, so what else should I do? You are looking for a famous doctor now. Anyone who comes to see my famous doctor should check it again. ?

Doctor, check it. ?

B: Don't move. Open your mouth. (1) A little higher. (Pitch up) (Repeat twice) A little higher. ?

A: Doctor, you are not a hospital, but a conservatory of music. ?

What nonsense! ?

I can sing so high! ?

Who told you to sing high? I told you to keep your chin up a little. I can't see. ?

A: Be more specific. ?

B: Come on. ?

A: Huh?

No wonder your voice is so ugly! There's a little bit on it. This ceiling is a little moldy. ?

A: Doctor, it is true that you are not a conservatory of music here. You are an interior decorator. ?

B: You said it twice! ?

A: Then why do you think I have a ceiling? ?

B: The person who comes here to see a doctor is called the ceiling. A: Maxillary, doctor. ) Oh, yes, the palate. When I was a doctor, I didn't know it was called maxilla. But I heard it was the ceiling. ) I said maxilla, in case you don't understand. I know what your education level is! ?

A: No matter how low my education is, I won't leave here. ?

Come on, come on, stick out your tongue. There's moss on it! Does it usually leak? ?

Oh, it usually rains heavily outside, so it rains lightly here. I thought, is my head a colander? ?

B: (touching a nail head) It should be closed! ?

A: (throw it away) It has been closed for a long time, and the air leakage has long died. ?

You show everyone how green it is here. ?

A: This tongue coating. B: Oh, yes, tongue coating. How did I hear that he is the whole house! ?

B: I mean long tongue coating. ?

A: Is the tongue coating called fur? (b: Right, right, tongue coating. ) Remember to call it tongue coating. ?

B: Tongue coating, tongue coating, whatever you say, ok! Tongue coating! This person is very annoying. Should I see a doctor or should you see a doctor? I have one sentence, and he has a hundred! This man is not in good health, but you are eloquent. You are a pyramid scheme. Is it? Stop seeing the doctor! Pay! ?

A: Ah. (coming back from a walk) Doctor, what's wrong with me? ?

I'll tell you as soon as you pay. ?

A: Ah. (coming back from a walk) Doctor, how much do I have to pay? ?

Oh, don't pay too much! A: Thank you, doctor. (Turning to leave) Pay first 1000! ?

A: (Almost fell) It took 1000 yuan to know what happened to me! ?

B: What's wrong with a thousand dollars? What's wrong with a thousand? A thousand won't be enough. ?

Isn't a thousand dollars enough? ! ?

B: In that case, I think it may be infected. How old are you? A: Forty-one. ) What is it? A: It's a cow. ) it looks like it at first glance! His face is blue, his eyes are dull and his pupils are dilated. (holding his nose) let out a cry, (a: moo? ) push hard! (a: moo? How about eating grass recently? ?

A: It's not good to eat grass recently. I only eat half a bundle of grass a day. ?

I suspect that you have mad cow disease. ?

A: I suspect you are a veterinarian. Who is the vet? ) You vet! I didn't eat mad beef at all. How can you get mad cow disease? ?

B: OK, OK, OK. I've said it again and again. I am a doctor who is most considerate of patients. If you don't want to check, you don't have to. But don't blame me for your madness in the future! ?

You're angry, too. ?

B: Stand still and check it again. A: check it again Please, many patients just don't cooperate with the doctor. (Rubbing nails on the shoulder) Does it hurt here? No, doctor. Think carefully before you answer, this is to see a doctor, not to buy food! Does it hurt here? A: No pain. ) no way? It should hurt here! (Squeezing nails and temples) Does it hurt here? Yes, doctor. ) It shouldn't hurt here! This question is very complicated! Bend down. (Holding the nails on his back) Does it hurt here? ?

Doctor, do you think it should hurt or not? B: What! ) I said it hurts, you said it shouldn't hurt, I said it doesn't hurt, and you said it should. ?

Tell me the truth. Does it hurt? ?

A: It didn't hurt at first, but you pinched me. ?

B: Pay! ?

A: Ah. (coming back from a walk) Doctor, when can I pay again? ?

B: You didn't pay a penny after seeing a doctor! ?

A: I have a word about paying money. ?

B: Of course there is. Don't misunderstand me. I am a famous doctor, and I am responsible for you. I'm not responsible for you to find another doctor. This is called exclusion, which excludes all the diseases you may get, not just leaving a cold! ?

A: I have a cold, but I haven't ruled out my money yet! ?

This man is full of money. Hey, what is the most important thing in your life? What is the most important thing? ) 1000 yuan is hard to buy? Healthy? Two words. ?

A: The body. ?

B: Who is most responsible for your health in this world? Who is responsible for me? ) the doctor is the most responsible. ?

A: Doctor. ?

B: What did you earn so much money for all your life? ?

Why do you earn so much money? ?

B: Just to see a doctor! ?

A: Just looking? I won this for him all my life! Did you get a look at him? ?

B: What do you mean? If you earn for me, you earn for yourself. ?

A: Doctor, I beg you, please pay attention. My family will sell iron and bring you a plaque. Six feet high, six feet wide, square, four big letters hanging at your door, iron reincarnation, okay? ?

B: Hehe? We must wait. Who is reincarnation? ?

A: Tito is a good doctor who is almost reincarnated. They say you can see clearly.

No, I remember it was Yugoslav, right? ? It's Hua tuo! ?

A: You are much better than Hua Tuo! ?

What do you mean? ?

A: Just give me some cold medicine. ?

B: Come on, such people are rare. (takes out a piece of paper) He is so stingy and doesn't take care of our businessmen! (Give a) Take the medicine according to this list! ?

You gave me a prescription so quickly. ?

B: What else is open here? It's all photocopied. ?

A: (reading the newspaper, grinning, beating his chest)?

B: This is obviously mad cow disease! Did you get a look at him? ?

Doctor, you are really a great doctor! B: That's right. ) I have a cold. You prescribed me more than 500 kinds of medicine. ?

B: Of course. ?

A: Other doctors talk about movies. Tell me about Kim! I don't think I can eat it alive. I'm going to mobilize the whole family to eat, and my children and grandchildren will eat until the 28 th century. I can't believe I can't finish it! ?

B: Good! This is called Yu Gong taking medicine! ?

I understand, doctor. Why do you think there is a pressure cooker in it for me? Do you think I should steam or sit in it? ?

B: Why don't you have any social common sense? Pressure cookers are used for cooking! ?

A: Cooking We have a lot of cooking pots at home. ?

Your cold is no ordinary cold. Then why do I catch a cold? ) You have an imported cold. ?

Did I get mad cow disease again? ?

B: What! You've been sick since your mouth. You have a viral cold. I'm afraid you'll infect the rest of the family, so you must use what you eat alone in the future. By the way, I'll give you a pair of chopsticks alone.

No, I'll just eat from the pot. ?

B: A little saving is just a little. ?

Doctor, how do you drive? Eighteen baskets of penicillin. I don't think you can stop me! ?

B: Don't do it all at once. Wait until it's ready. ?

A: Cell phone? ?

What if you take the wrong medicine? Call me right away. It is not too late. ?

But how can you drive a motorcycle for me? ?

B: how can I get such a big pile of things back? Don't rely on motorcycles! You are not bad! ? A: What's the matter? ? B: Of the three people who came in front, I drove his Santana alone!