Are there any jokes and brain teasers? ~~

One day, when the teacher came into the classroom, the students stood up and shouted, "Good morning, teacher!" " "The teacher said angrily," just good morning? What shall I do in the afternoon? Not good? So the students shouted together: "Good afternoon, teacher! "The teacher said angrily," What shall I do at night? " The students shouted together again: "Good evening, teacher!" " The teacher nodded and said, "That's it. Now shout it again! " The students shouted: "Good morning, teacher, good afternoon and good evening!" " The teacher said, "Sit down! Today we are going to review antonyms. Let's practice like this. When I say something, you say the antonym loudly. From now on. Teacher: "The weather is fine today. Student: "The weather is terrible today. "Teacher:" There is sunshine everywhere. Student: "There are clouds everywhere. "Teacher:" The road is crowded with people. " Student: "There is no one on the road. "Teacher:" Young. " Student: "Old." Teacher: "Stand. Student: Lie down Teacher: There is a young man standing on the road. Student: "There is an old man lying on the road. Teacher: "I found a dollar." Student: "I lost a dollar." "Teacher:" I found a dollar and gave it to the teacher. "Student:" I stole a teacher and lost a dollar. "Teacher:" No, you can't say that! ""Student: "Correct, you should say so!" "Teacher:" Wrong. "Student:" Correct. "Teacher:" That won't do, it's illegal! " "student:" this is ok, this is a legal act! " Teacher: "I was wrong. Student: "We are right. "Teacher:" Listen to the teacher, what the teacher said is correct! ""Student: "Listen to us, everything the teacher said is wrong!" "Teacher:" You are so stupid. Student: "We are very smart. "teacher:" stop! " Student: "Go on! Teacher: "You stop now! Stop! " Student: "Go on now! Say it! Teacher: "You stupid pigs, I said stop!" " "Student:" We are all geniuses, we say go on! " Teacher: "You listen to the teacher!" Student: The teacher listens to us! "Teacher:" All students should listen to the teacher! "Student:" Teachers should listen to students! " Teacher: "Now you stop practicing! ""Student: "Now let's continue to practice!" "Teacher:" Are you endless? Student: "We finish what we started! "Teacher:" Then stop! Stupid pig! " Student: "Then let's go on! Genius! "... say that finish, the teacher angrily walked out of the classroom with a book in his arms. 1 Why does the silkworm baby have money? = => Because it will cocoon (frugality). Why don't white rabbits marry zebras? = => Because mother rabbit says tattoos are not good children. 3. When will Taiwan Province Province be reunified? = => When buying instant noodles (unified instant noodles) 4. What line does the monkey dislike? = => Parallel lines (because there is no intersection) 5. Chocolate and tomatoes fight. Why does chocolate win? = => Because of chocolate bars. 6. What happens when sharks eat mung beans? = => turned into green bean paste. 7. After the match was burned, I went to the hospital. What has it become? = => Cotton swab 8. How did Lin Daiyu die? = => fell to death (a sister Lin fell from the sky) 9. A pig said "Come on" and hit a dish? = => chocolate 10. The potato fatally stabbed the steamed stuffed bun. What happened? = => becomes the bean paste (killing) package of 1 1. What animal likes to stick on the wall? = => seal (newspaper) 12. Why do foxes often fall? = => Because the fox is cunning (his feet are slippery), 13.4 people are playing mahjong in the house. Why did the police come and take away five people = => Because the person they hit was called Mahjong 14. When do you like to drink soda? = => When you are lonely (you will want soda when you are lonely) 15. An egg goes to the teahouse for tea. What happened afterwards? = => The result becomes tea egg 16. There is a male deer, and it walks faster and faster. What happened in the end? = => Turn into 17 expressway. One day mung bean committed suicide and jumped off the fifth floor, bleeding a lot. What happened? = => became red beans 18. Why can't the plane hit the stars when it flies so high? = => Because the stars will twinkle. 19. Corn wants to pursue fashion and get a perm. What was the result? = => turned into popcorn. 20. What mouse walks on two feet? = => Mickey Mouse 2 1. What duck walks on two feet? = => All ducks walk on two legs. 22. Miss, business is bad now. Why? = => Avian influenza. What kind of people can't work at a gas station? = => A smooth talker (oil gun slides down) 24. Is jiaozi a boy or a girl? = => The boy has wrapping paper on the jiaozi. 25. The man in gold clothes = => A surprised man. A bee stung on the calendar = = > The wind (bee) and the sun (calendar) 27. Here comes a bear. Come prepared (bear comes) 28. The mobile phone can't fall into the toilet = => It's now or never. There are ten sheep, and nine are squatting in the sheepfold = => cadence (one sheep squats wrong) 30. How to make sparrows quiet? = => Click (Silence) 3 1. What is a transparent sword? = => Invisible (Sword) 32. What do African cannibal leaders eat? Answer: Eating people, should chiefs be vegetarian? = => Vegetarian 33. Why are there no dinosaurs now? = => The dinosaur went to make a movie. 34. Xiao Bai looks like his brother. Do you know why? = => Just like Dabai 35. How about an egg swimming in Songhua River? = => turned into a preserved egg. 36. An egg ran to Shandong. So what? = = & gt37. An egg is homeless. How's it going? = => It turned into a wild egg. 38. An egg accidentally fell on the road and fell to the ground. So what? = => It became an inverted (guided) bomb. 39. An egg fell into the flower. How's it going? = => becomes Hua Dan 40. How about an egg swimming in the Dead Sea? = => becomes Superman 4 1. Xiaoming and Xiaohua go to the seaside to tell jokes. They died after telling their jokes. Why? = => Because of the tsunami (laughs) 42. Why don't men go out? = => Because when you go out, you become a layman. 43. Why can't I see God's penis? = => The secret cannot be revealed. 44. Why is the iceberg just the tip of the iceberg? = => Because the other corner was broken by Titanic. 45. How to keep ducks from flying away? = => Give it a wing. 46. Who doesn't have a phone? = => A perfect mobile phone. Ma Jiajue once told me privately that "a blunt knife is the most lethal". Why? = => Because it is a hammer. 48. Why did Chang 'e go to the moon? = => After nine days of shooting, even the immortals can't stand it. 49. Little Black, Little White, Little Yellow and Little Red flew. Who will feel dizzy and want to vomit? = => White rabbit (vomit) 50. A fat man jumped from a tall building. What happened? = => Become a fat man.