What are some outrageous jokes in English?

1. In a mental hospital, a patient is writing a letter. When the nurse saw it, she asked him curiously.

Nurse: Who are you going to write to?

Patient: Write it to myself!

Nurse: Then what do you write?

Patient: You are mentally ill! I haven't received it. How do I know?

In a mental hospital, a patient was writing. After seeing it, the nurse asked him curiously. Nurse: Who are you going to write to? Patient: My own!

Nurse: Then what do you write?

Patient: You are crazy! How do I know if I haven't received it?

2. Mental patient A stole the phone book from the nurse's office and went back to the ward. Ask B, "What do you think of the novel I recently finished?" ?

B looked at it and replied, "Yes, yes. However, there are just a few more roles. "

Then the nurse in the mental hospital came in and said, "You put the phone book back for me!" "

The mental patient stole the phone number of the ward from the nurse's office. Ask B and say, "What do you think of the novel I recently finished?"?

B looked at it and replied, "It's fine. However, that is a little more than one person. "

At this moment, the nurse in the mental hospital came in and said, "You should put your phone number back for me!"

3. Patient: "I always have insomnia. What can I do? " Doctor: "Try counting from 1 to 500." The next day, the doctor asked about the effect. The patient said, "It's too difficult. I can't hold on until I count to 200. I only counted it after drinking a cup of espresso. "

Patient: "I always suffer from insomnia. Is there any way?" Doctor: "Try from 1 to 500." The next day, the doctor asked about the effect. The patient said, "It's too difficult. I can't hold on until I count to 200. It takes only a few cups of espresso."

The little turtle went to get the marriage certificate. The clerk asked how old the tortoise was, and the tortoise said: 100. The clerk said regretfully, I'm sorry, according to your family rules, you are underage and are not allowed to get married.

Little turtle goes to get a marriage certificate. The shop assistant asked the tortoise how old he was, and the tortoise said, 100. The clerk said apologetically, I'm sorry, according to your family, you are still young, and the rules forbid marriage.

5. Fire Brigade: Where is the fire? Alarm person: My home. Fire brigade: I mean, where? Policeman: In the kitchen. Fire brigade: I mean, how do we get there? Policeman: Don't you have a fire truck? !

Fire brigade: Where is the fire? Reporter: My home. Fire brigade: I mean where is it? Reporter: In the kitchen. Fire brigade: I mean, how do we get there? Reporter: Aren't you a fire truck? ! ! ! ! !

6. Three people buy breakfast. The first one said: an fried egg, no yolk. The boss fried an egg according to this. The second said: an omelette, not egg white. The boss did, a little impatient. On the third lap, the boss shouted, what about you? Don't what? The third said timidly, I … I don't want eggshells …

Three people buy breakfast. The first one said: an fried egg, no yolk. The boss is like an omelette. The second one said, an omelette, not protein. The boss did, a little impatient. Third, the boss shouted: What about you? No? The third said timidly, I ... I don't eat eggshells. ...

7. One day, eggplant was walking in the street and suddenly sneezed a lot. It wiped its nose and said angrily, "Shit! Someone took a group photo again! "

8. KINOMOTO SAKURA said to Xiao Qiang, "When I kick you in the exam today, you should give me a look." During the exam, KINOMOTO SAKURA kicked Xiao Qiang, and Xiao Qiang replied: Meow!

One day, walking in the street, eggplant suddenly sneezed heavily. It said angrily with its nose, "Damn it! There are still people with a group! "

Xiaoqiang said to Xiaoqiang, "Test me to play with you once from today, and then you can scan it for me." During the exam, once Xiaoqiang called, Xiaoqiang would answer: Meow! ! ! ! !

9. Xiaoli: Dad, why does the aunt who gave medicine wear a mask?

Dad: The medicine I gave you is delicious. The dean is worried that they will steal it.

Xiaoli: Wearing masks for those uncles with knives is because they are afraid of eating, right?

Xiaoli: Dad, why does Aunt Yao wear a mask?

Dad: The medicine I gave you is delicious. The dean is afraid that they will steal it.

Xiaoli: Are those who draw swords afraid that their uncle will wear a mask to eat?

10, the big black bear put a beehive into the water, trying to soak the bees out of the beehive. Who knows that after the bees came out, the chased black bears ran all over the world. When Mrs. Xiong saw it, she cursed, "You stupid bear, how dare you make honey?"

The big black bear put a beehive into the water, trying to soak all the bees in the beehive, but when he came out, he chased the swarming black bears all over the world. The bear's wife scolded him: "You bear, how dare you soak small honey?"