A funny, laughing little friend.

1. Once I had a little quarrel with my husband, and my five-year-old daughter was playing with toys. I asked my daughter, Tell me, who is right, your father or me? The daughter said while playing: I don't care about your business!

I just bought a few Jin of millet to take home. My nephew is anxious to eat. I: Take a look at it when you peel it, and be careful not to eat bugs.

Nephew: Why should I be careful with it? It should be careful of me. Aren't you afraid I'll eat it?

Here you are. . . .

3, go fishing with my brother, my nephew always grabs my fishing rod, but he is too young to wait for the fish to bite, and keeps holding the hook to watch.

He followed me all morning, repeating a sentence all the way: adults can't lie.

My son just went to kindergarten and came home one day clamoring for me to buy him paint.

It turned out that Xiaomei, his deskmate, had lost a quarrel with a boy in another class, so he asked his son to help him give that boy some color to see tomorrow. . .

It is very indecent to take my nephew shopping and see a couple biting and touching in public. I was bitten for teaching bad children!

The little nephew next to me quickly comforted me: Aunt, don't be angry. Our teacher says jealousy is not good! Me. .

6. When I was a child, I stole watermelons with my brother. When I got home, I cut it open, but it was still white inside.

The two of us are stupid enough to say that we don't know each other well.

Later, I learned that it was wax gourd.

Although I smoke and drink and swear, I know I am a good boy. Xiao Ming, 6, said.

Fool's day humor jokes laugh wildly.

April Fool's joke is hilarious (1) 1. This broadcast gymnastics is too fake. Girls have been doing breast enhancement exercises for more than ten years, and there is no effect at all ~

2, the times are developing, but the society is regressing. Just now, I saw a girl wearing a long skirt, and her safety pants were almost knee-high!

3. Swearing is the greatest invention in human history. Before that, primitive people could only express their dissatisfaction with each other by raising the volume and throwing stones at each other.

Facing the fruit knife in the gangster's hand, the experienced police officer Wang was prepared and calmly took out the fruit.

5, the height of this thing, everyone is more than one meter, there is nothing to ask; Weight is such a thing, everyone is less than 200 pounds, there is nothing to ask for; There is nothing to ask about such a thing as salary.

6. Who would have thought that Sichuan sister is called Chuanmei for short?

7. Obesity can reduce the risk of Alzheimer's disease. Fat people can't forget where the delicious food is.

8. Everyone expected to see colorful clouds floating towards them, but it turned out to be a cold ice rain.

9, young people love to eat snacks in the car, which is very bad and easy to distract the driver!

April Fool's Humorous Jokes (2)

1. It is said that Unicom launched iphone Woxin to fight against WeChat.

According to informed sources, Unicom will continue to introduce seat filling slots, mobile phone stands, screen cleaners, map software, calendar plug-ins and players specially designed for iphone.

2. After the baptism of CBA, McGrady finally reborn and entered the NBA finals. With the departure of Sun Yue, the Lakers dynasty was ended, and Yi Jianlian went to Guangdong, which led to the Mavericks becoming a second-rate team. Can the post-Bater Spurs resist the Heat without Wang? Let's wait and see.

3. Little zombie: Dad, they laughed at me for being a wild child and having no mother. Tell me the truth. Is mom dead?

Zombie dad: Good boy, your mother is not dead.

Zombie: Then why have I never met my mother?

Zombie dad: That's because your mother is not dead.

April Fool's Humorous Jokes (3)

1, the stingy landlord was sitting in his room eating snacks when a long-term worker pushed the door and came in. He didn't even give up a word

The long-term worker sat opposite him and said, old shopkeeper, I dug a crock in the ground yesterday afternoon, and it seems to be full of tin bumps.

When the landlord heard this, he liked it and gave the long-term worker a snack.

After eating snacks, the long-term worker continued: I looked at it carefully and found it was silver.

The landlord was even happier, and soon handed it to Zheng Zheng.

The long-term worker ate the second snack, put his mouth to the landlord's ear and said, I wrapped the pot of silver in a cotton-padded jacket and put it in my arm. I ran back and prepared to give half a pot to the old shopkeeper at home.

The landlord happily stuffed the snack box into the hands of the long-term workers.

After eating snacks, the long-term worker clapped his hands and said unhurriedly, I stepped into the door with a silver pot in my arms, but I tripped over our high threshold and woke me up.

Ah! So you're talking in your sleep! The landlord's hands trembled with anger and snatched back the snack box, but there was nothing in it.

2, the miser treats, always don't want to give you a second bowl. After the guest finished the first bowl, the miser pretended not to see it and continued to gossip with others.

The guest was embarrassed to say that I wanted to eat the second bowl, so he knocked on the empty bowl with chopsticks and said, hey, there is a catalpa tree in front of my house, and the mouth of the bowl is so thick. I want to sell it cheaply. Look, who wants it?

Everyone looked at his empty bowl and the miser's face. The miser had to give him a second bowl of rice.

Then the miser said, I bought your catalpa tree!

The man said: we can eat enough now, and the trees are not for sale!

Laugh at the personality of the sky

1, weeding at noon, mine burying, Li Bai dancing, blowing to 250.

2. There are three possibilities for girls to suffer from insomnia. Miss my boyfriend. I miss the boy I have a crush on. I ate too much.

3. Right time, right place, right feelings and wrong characters.

As long as your eyes are straight, you are not afraid of orbital heat.

What matters in life is not where you stand, but the direction you face.

If you just wait, what will happen will only make you old.

7. Rogue is a kind of temperament; Old hooligans are a kind of faith.

8. Don't say anything about you just because you are stupid.

The more people I know, the more I like animals.

10, what is the biggest difference between Jesus and Sakyamuni? They have big curly hair and small curly hair.

1 1, the other half didn't get 100, only two people got 50 points!

12, Q: What are the most commonly used functions of mobile phones? A: It depends on time. Q: What is the most exciting function of the mobile phone? A: Vibration.

13, dry wood meets fire, which is called Ming Sao; Wet wood meets small flames, which is a man show.

14, successful men can earn more money than their wives spend, and successful women can find such men.

15. If I die, my first sentence is: I don't have to be afraid of ghosts at last.

16, please don't say holding my son's hand and growing old with him, because I still have black hair.

17, I know, sleepy in class, energetic after class.

18. Luck is when an opportunity happens to bump into your efforts.

19, we live in sewers, and we still have the right to look up at the stars.

20. If I can't die in her heart, let her die in my hands.

2 1, put your heart of stone in my cherry mouth.

22, dust to dust, soil to soil, waving goodbye to 250.

23. I really want to call you grandpa and dad myself.

24. Half the world is laughing at the other half, but the whole world is a fool.

25. How many generations does it take to climb from this world to that one?

Laugh, my friends will drive you all crazy.

1, on the first day of kindergarten, my son was actually persuaded by the garden. . . Many children cried when I entered the kindergarten in the morning. The teacher finally calmed everyone down. He said: Mom doesn't want us.

So the scene suddenly got out of control. . .

The teacher managed to coax the children. It's time for lunch

When the food was served, he said, my mother didn't cook it, so I won't eat it!

So the scene got out of control again. . .

School is finally over, and parents have come to pick up their children. He threw himself into my arms, turned to the other children and said, tomorrow we will be sent back. . .

When I went out today, I met the child next door drawing something on his father's car and asked him what he was doing.

The child covered his hand mysteriously and said, my dad hit me and I want to destroy it! Don't tell him I wrote it in his car.

I nodded in agreement.

When I came home, I heard the child crying again. I approached the car curiously and saw pebbles written on the door: Dad is a bad guy.

My relatives and friends ask me every New Year, are you looking for someone?

I will go to his children quietly and politely, and then ask kindly: How much did you get in the final exam? You know, the pain needs to be transferred. . .

The child said: Uncle, my girlfriend was the first in the exam, and I was the second. By the way, uncle, do you have a girlfriend? . .

Me. . .

4. My son is in a big class, and my aunt comes to play with him at home: everyone in kindergarten is in a big class. Do you have a girlfriend?

Son: Haven't you found it yet?

Aunt: What are you pinching?

Son: I'm going to primary school soon, so I have to re-divide classes. Now I can't find stability. . .

Me. . .

5. The son came home with a math test paper, and his mother asked: How was the result this time?

The son said: I don't know. If I have to describe it, I can use an idiom to describe Wang Xizhi to describe my exam.

Mom is happy: so powerful! What idiom is it?

The son took out the test paper: 3 points for the purpose.