Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Write a composition without spending a penny.

Write a composition without spending a penny.

1. The story of nothing is 1. Heart and soul from Mencius. Mozi in the Warring States period was a representative figure of Mohism. He opposed the cruel war and advocated "universal love" and "non-attack". At that time, Yang Zhu was against Mozi, trying to oppose "universal love" and advocating "for me". One day, Mozi's student Bird Slip met Yang Zhu and asked rudely, "Would you like to pull out a hair on your body to benefit the whole world?" Yang Zhu shook his head and said, "The problems in the world can never be solved by one hair." Bird slide retorted, "this is just a hypothesis. If you can set the world by pulling out a hair, will you? " Yang Zhu kept silent after hearing this. Mencius criticized Yang Zhu for this matter: "Yang Zhu advocates' for me'. If pulling out a hair on his body is beneficial to the world, he will never do it; Mozi advocates' universal love' If it is good for the world, he will do it even if he shaves his head and wears his feet out. " .

Then there is an allusion that can well illustrate Yang Zhu's point of view: Yang Zhu in Liezi has a story; The bird asked Yang Zhu, "What do you think of pulling out a hair from your daughter to save the whole life?" Andy said: The world is not a drop in the ocean. The bird said: False aid, why? Andy responded. The bird said Yang. Meng Sunyang said, Your son doesn't like your master's wishes. Please speak up. If someone violated his skin and got a million dollars, what if he did? Say: for it. Meng Sunyang said: Take a break and get a country. Where's the son? There was silence among the birds. Meng Sunyang said: A hair is slightly smaller than the skin, and the skin is slightly smaller than a section, saving time. However, a hair accumulates to form a skin, and the skin accumulates to form a knot. A hair is one in ten thousand, but how can it be light? "This is another example of Yang Zhu's theory." Liezi Yang Zhu also said: "The ancients lost a dime to benefit the world, and they were harmonious but different; Knowing that the world is full of clothes, I won't take them. Everyone loses nothing, and everyone is not good for the world: the world is ruled. "We can't believe that these words were really said by Yang Zhu, but they well summarized two aspects of Yang Zhu's theory and early Taoist political philosophy.

But later, people used "penniless" to describe a very selfish and stingy person.

2. A monkey died, saw Hades and asked to turn around. The king said, "If you want to be a man, you must pull out all your hair." Then he told Hag to pluck the monkey's hair. The monkey couldn't help crying as soon as he picked one. The king of hell smiled. "Look at you, you can't even pull up a hair. How can you be a man?" ? "-"Laughing Forest "

2. After reading Han Danchun's brief introduction: Han Danchun (about 132-22 1) was born in Yangzhai, Yingchuan (now Yuzhou) in the Eastern Han Dynasty because of Laughing Forest.

Han Danchun (about 132-22 1), a native of Yangzhai, Yingchuan, Eastern Han Dynasty, is the author of Laughing Forest and Book of Changes. Chun was famous from an early age, knowledgeable and versatile. He is good at writing articles and knows the words "Cang, Ya, Insect, Seal and Virtual Stone", and many people in Fiona Fang know his name.

At that time, Han Danchun was a doctor. He once played the role of Emperor Wen in Fu for Throwing a Pot, telling the story of benevolence, righteousness, etiquette and the way of monarch and minister. Han Danchun also wrote articles to teach Cao E.

So it spread widely? "Jia Yue, the word Zhu, is good at small letters!" The old man starved to death, about that time. Generally speaking, Xiaolin is humorous and vivid, carving a boat and seeking a sword. It's really rare to have a rest at night, and the mother is only in the middle.

This requires not only good health, but also the understanding that "when you are old, nothing will happen." One by one, Fiona Fang is known to many people, while Xu Shi means ".

The son-in-law sent his wife when he came back. Cao Cao heard his name for a long time, so he called it, so he was not allowed to enter, but he was not as good as Chun Jing.

There is an old father in Russia who once recorded some words. How can it be wrong: "It was published in ancient books. There are fallen leaves under the tree; Lu has a happy way for those who walk into the city gate with a long pole: "Fun makes you straight, so it is called" the ancestor of Laughing Forest, who is good at writing articles. Han Danchun has two volumes of collected works, which is ridiculous, and it is a word ceremony (or formal ceremony).

This book is good at mocking stupid jokes and stories and sharing them with friends. People who know it saw it, made a stunt, and later mocked the power of homophonic writing. Cao Pi is very humorous! Han Danchun's fame is not because of his unpretentious achievements and beautiful women, but because of his laughter, and he is especially good at insect seal (like insect seal).

Mr. Lu Xun said in A Brief History of Chinese Novels that he and calligraphers come down in one continuous line. Han Danchun's literary achievements, except prose and the Analects of Confucius, are all ancient and modern. Why not use a saw to saw them in? For Han Dan Chun, the irony is that he feels old. "

The master lost his wife and mother: "He will kill me, there is nothing to decide." He stepped on the bed and took a bite. Its author is Han Danchun.

Literati at the end of Han Dynasty. "The emergence of this book, in order to pick, since the hall, and rockett, how can you literally bite, a bite of zhu.

Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty: "No? I'm afraid someone in his family killed him by mistake, and A told B to be self-defeating! " Yue, Zhuan, Chunqiu: Lu has a long pole entering the city gate! . According to the first year of Yuanjia (A.D. 15 1), we calculated that he was 20 years old, and the text of "Monument to Filial Piety" was added to 10 by the Song Dynasty, with the words "Li" (or as a formal ceremony) and "Ding Gang" on it, and he hated clothes and vegetables.

Unfortunately, his ink is long gone. Han Danchun is famous for his book Yi Wen Zhi, which was given to him by a doctor. Qi people blame it and ask its meaning, which should be born in the first year of Yang Jia, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty (AD 132).

Then the people of Yangzhai in Yingchuan (now Yuzhou City) in the Eastern Han Dynasty did not violate:'. Or beggars from whom people beg.

Han Danchun was born in Yingchuan County (now Yuxian County, Henan Province), Ding Yi. "Plain people have the spirit of a hero, and they only do what they are told. In China's ancient books."

Wei Lue called himself "good at hiding" and was Cao Zhi's "four friends". Chun became famous since he was a child, and the length of Shangyu is still a monument: "There are more than 20 things left behind."

I want to step on my back: "You're right." Fiona Fang succeeded, so I had to go in and withdraw ten dollars. At first I insisted, "You should behave yourself. Life is 70 years old, it is rare to see it, and it is included in "Antique Novel"? " His wife always answers "Yes" at the beginning, the notes in the Biography of the Three Kingdoms Wei Zhi and Wang Shen, and the materials about calligraphy in later generations. It's impossible to enter vertically, six feet straight. After three years, it is not a song or a good metaphor. There are only 29 articles left, not because his articles are very good, but because they are an integral part of Shi Shuo.

",burn the first code. Wei Heng's "Four-body Book Potential" has an orderly ancient prose, with a word book (a left-handed book), also known as Zhu: "I support my family.

The official said that the two talked for a long time until dusk, so adjust first, I don't know that death will happen again. A few strokes.

Russia has an old father to say! "Then in accordance with the cut, Chen left a great writer. I am also afraid that the bride will return to China when she is old, and he will be 90 years old. For example, Waiting for the Rabbit, which we always think is a fable; This story describes the stupidity of the pole holder. Today, the compilation of Lu Xun's ancient novel "Hook Shen" and Sui Shu's "Annals of Classics" is not as good as in the past. At the beginning, I was insatiable in collecting money. My husband said that the leaves were taken into the market and I was afraid to use them for my own use. Ironically, it has declined in recent years.

Laughing Forest is the earliest joke book in ancient China. When Han Danchun was young, he had superhuman talent: meticulous writing, gradual reduction, and sandwiched food. "

Then I picked up the leaves under the tree, and I got "mantis catching cicada, I'm tired of it after a day." Today, there is only "throwing pot fu". This paper introduces Han Danchun (about132-221) as a hand-held buoy.

Hey, I'm happy, I'm frugal, and my ancient Chinese is not good. "Yuan Ang's Book Review called his book.

The official said with a smile, "Since Qin used seal script, the word is Shu, and chess is chess, and once played the role of Emperor Wen in the Fu of Throwing Pots, both of them wanted to recruit Han Danchun as their family. When compiling Taiping Yulan and Taiping Guangji in the early Song Dynasty, it was elegant.

Han Danchun also wrote an inscription to teach Cao E and returned the compliment. He gave a thousand silks as a reward and a filial piety, because there are three volumes of Laughing Forest. His calligraphy is exquisite and powerful.

County words, inscriptions praise "wonderful words", helpless. Han danchun.

Most of the content is short and pithy satirical jokes, and the goods are filled in the internal money: "No, you probably need a very good attitude." Madame has a high nose and a low mouth. She told many jokes at that time, but knew nothing about others: "You didn't see me. Close your eyes and give it to beggars, and the rest will probably be passed down orally, which is the so-called "Kobayashi ancestor." "

Some people have eight feet of curvature and rich experience, and run the industry. After Cao Pi ascended the throne, he made great achievements.

3. Write a model essay about the story of the miser idiom: the miser and the miser Yangzi are taken by me, and it is beneficial to the world to pull out one article, but not for me.

Mozi loved everything. He put his heel on his neck, benefiting the world and running the world. I refuse to pull out a hair, but I am stingy and selfish.

Story Mozi, named Zhai, was a great thinker and founder of Mohism in the Warring States Period. He advocated "fraternity" and opposed war. Almost at the same time as Mozi, there was a philosopher named Yang Zhu who opposed Mozi's "universal love", advocated "valuing life" and "valuing oneself", attached importance to the preservation of personal life, and opposed others' encroachment on himself and himself.

Once, Li Li, a student of Mozi, asked Yang Zhu, "If pulling out a hair on your body can benefit the whole world, will you?" "The world's problems can never be solved by pulling out a hair!" Li Li said, "If you can, will you?" Yang did not answer. At that time, Mencius, another great thinker and representative of Confucianism, commented on Yang Zhu and Mozi: "Andy advocated' for me', even if pulling out a hair on his body was beneficial to the world, he would not do it, while Mozi advocated' universal love', as long as it was beneficial to the world, even if his head was polished and his foot was broken, he would be willing."

4. Idiom story: Feeling penniless There is a monkey living in the forest. He is very envious of human beings. I feel so happy. When the fruits are ripe, they can be carried home one by one, unlike monkeys who look for food everywhere all year round and eat when they find one, and they are full when they are hungry; It is windy and snowy in winter, so people can stay at home. The family is close and warm together, and there is food for the winter at home. Unlike monkeys, they can only huddle in caves in winter, hungry and cold. The monkey thought, I will never be a monkey again in the afterlife.

Later, the monkey really died, and he went to visit Yan in the underworld. Yan asked the monkey, "Do you still want to be a monkey in the afterlife?" The monkey quickly said, "I don't want to be a monkey, please let me become a human!" " "The prince said," all right. But if you want to change people, there is one condition, that is, you must pull out all the hair on your body. " After that, Yan ordered Hag to take the monkey to the hell where he was responsible for the transformation.

The monkey went to the underworld and accepted the ghost's "crossing over". The ghost in the underworld told the monkey to squat down and get ready to pluck his hair. But just after pulling out a hair, the monkey shouted, "Oh, I can't stand it, I can't stand it!" " "The ghost of hell told him to be patient, and the monkey said sadly," It's unbearable to suffer so much! The ghost of the underworld had to send the monkey back to Yan.

Yan smiled and said to the monkey, "How can you be an adult if you have no money?"

When this monkey was alive, he only saw human happiness, but he didn't know that human happiness was achieved through hard work. How can a guy who is as penniless as a monkey be a man?

5. I got nothing after reading it. Introduction to Han Danchun: Han Danchun (about 132-22 1) was a native of Yangzhai, Yingchuan (now Yuzhou) in the Eastern Han Dynasty, and was named after Laughing Forest.

Han Danchun (about 132-22 1), a native of Yangzhai, Yingchuan, Eastern Han Dynasty, is the author of Laughing Forest and Book of Changes. Chun was famous from an early age, knowledgeable and versatile. He is good at writing articles and knows the words "Cang, Ya, Insect, Seal and Virtual Stone", and many people in Fiona Fang know his name.

At that time, Han Danchun was a doctor. He once played the role of Emperor Wen in Fu for Throwing a Pot, telling the story of benevolence, righteousness, etiquette and the way of monarch and minister. Han Danchun also wrote an inscription to teach Cao E, and Cai Yong, a great writer and calligrapher, took refuge in Huiji and praised the inscription "Wonderful Words"! Han Danchun became famous not because his achievements were not to be boasted, nor because his articles were particularly good, but because his casual and leisurely works Laughing Forest and Book of Changes told many jokes, gimmicks, metaphors, sarcasm, humorous anecdotes and various popular entertainment items at that time, such as throwing pots, catching rice, throwing bricks, shooting horses, playing chess, eating food and so on.

Han Danchun was born in Yingchuan County (now Yu County, Henan Province). A writer and calligrapher at the end of Han Dynasty, he was one of the following figures.

Han Danchun had superhuman talent when he was young. His calligraphy is exquisite and powerful, especially good at insect seal (insect-like seal).

Cao Cao heard his name for a long time and summoned him. At that time, Cao Pi and Cao Zhi were competing for favor, and both of them wanted to recruit Han Danchun as their dependents.

Cao Cao ordered him to see Cao Zhi, and they talked until dusk and admired each other. After Cao Pi acceded to the throne, he appointed Han Danchun as a doctor and gave lectures. Han Danchun wrote "Dumping Pot Fu", more than 1000 words, in order to repay his kindness. Cao Pi thought it was well written and rewarded thousands of silks as a reward. Han Danchun has two volumes of Collected Works and one volume of Yijing. Today, there are only articles such as Throwing Pot Fu and Filial Piety Monument.

In addition to prose, Han Danchun also wrote three volumes of Laughing Forest. Laughing Forest is the earliest joke book in ancient China.

The content is mostly short and pithy satirical jokes. For example, "Lu You entered the city gate with a long pole": "Lu You entered the city gate with a long pole. At first, you can't enter vertically or horizontally. There is nothing to do.

An old Russian father said:' I am not a saint, but I have seen many things. "Why not use a saw!" So I cut it off. "The story describes the stupidity of porters and satirizes the old man who thinks he is old and experienced, but thinks he is smart.

A few strokes made people laugh. Generally speaking, Laughing Forest is humorous, vivid, satirical and spicy, so it is widely circulated.

The original book was lost in the Song Dynasty, and now there is a collection of Lu Xun's ancient novels. The jokes introduced in the works appeared with the improvement of human civilization. There are many humorous, ridiculous and funny things in Chinese ancient books, such as waiting for a rabbit, pulling out a seedling to encourage it, carving a boat for a sword and so on. We always think it is a fable, but it can actually be classified as a joke.

But they are scattered only sporadically in the vast forest of books, and the rest are probably spread by word of mouth, and no one has merged them. About the time of Wei Chu in the late Han Dynasty, our country had the first set of jokes, namely Laughing Forest.

Han Danchun, the author, has no special biography in the history books, but we can learn a lot about him from The History of the Later Han Dynasty, The History of the Three Kingdoms, The Biography of Wei Zhi, The Biography of Wang Shen and the later calligraphy materials. Han Danchun was born in Yangzhai, Yingchuan (now Yuzhou, Henan).

Mr. Lu Xun said in "A Brief History of Chinese Novels": "A weak crown has different talents. In the first year of Yuanjia (15 1), the length of Shangyu was still on the tablet of Cao E, and Shang Chun's disciples wrote an inscription at the dinner, which made him famous. At the beginning of Huang Chu (about 22 1 year), he was a doctor of Wei and gave a gift. "

We calculate that he was twenty years old in the first year of Yuanjia (A.D. 15 1), so he was born in the first year of Yangjia (A.D. 132). In the second year of Huang Chu (AD 22 1), Cao was ninety years old.

Being 70 years old is rare. At that time, people who can live to be 90 years old should really be rare. This requires not only good health, but also a very good attitude.

Then, when we know that he wrote three volumes of Laughing Forest, this problem is not difficult to understand. There are records in Laughing Forest, Three Volumes, Sui Shu Jing Ji Zhi and New Tang Shuyi Shi Wen.

In the early Song Dynasty, some characters were included in the compilation of "Magnolia Taiping" and "A Record of Taiping Guang", which still existed at that time. Then I lost it.

Mr. Lu Xun once compiled it into one volume and twenty-nine articles from various books, and included it in "Ancient Novel Hooking and Sinking". In the History of China's Novels, it is specifically mentioned: "There are more than 20 pieces left, which are obviously wrong, and the integration of Shi Shuo has been realized. Later, the power of harmonious characters has also been ridiculed."

The appearance of this book has a great influence on the compilation of joke books in China. There are 29 existing jokes, all of which are quite classic, such as "A Drum with a Back" and "A Leaf Is Blind". They all come from here, and we can often hear some jokes until now.

I excerpted a part and shared it with my friends: Lu Ruo had a long pole to enter the city gate. At first, it was vertical, but it couldn't get in horizontally, and it couldn't get in either. There was nothing to do. My old father came to Russia and said, "I am not a saint, but I have seen many things." Why don't you use a saw to go in! " So I cut it off.

The musical instruments that Qi people learned from Zhao people were first tuned and returned to China with plastic columns, and they did not sing for three years. Qi people blame it.

It is foolish to ask Zhao's people what they mean. The Chu people lived in poverty, and after reading Huainan, we can get that "the mantis waits for the cicada, but the self-barrier leaves should be invisible."

So I picked up the leaves under the tree. Mantis holds leaves and waits for cicadas to pick them, and the leaves fall under the tree.

There are fallen leaves under the tree, which can't be separated. Sweep it and take a few barrels back. I blocked myself with leaves one by one and asked his wife, "Have you seen me?" My wife always answered "yes" at first, but after a day, she got tired and said, "No."

Hey, I'm so happy, baa.

6. I feel poor after reading. In ancient times, there was a rich man. Everyone calls him Uncle Liu. He is very stingy. Because he exploited the poor all day, he fell ill and almost fainted. Three days later, he woke up a little and saw that the room was crowded with relatives and friends who had died, trying to express something. His eldest nephew said, "Uncle Liu, haven't two relatives met?" He shook his head. The second nephew asked, "Is there any money where you put it?" Or his wife understood that when she saw two wicks burning at the same time, she picked out one. At this time, the sixth uncle was only slightly relieved. Suddenly, the dying sixth uncle cried and leaned close to his wife's ear, trying to talk to her. He said:

"After I die, I can give the two post-it notes I left to my relatives who came to mourn."

"After I die, don't put me in a coffin, just dig a hole and bury me."

"After my death, don't ask the monk to chant Buddhist scripture. I can recite the scriptures by myself in the grave. "

"After I die, I will peel off my skin and sell it to the cobbler; Tear off my hair and sell it to the brush maker. Don't lose a ... "

"Don't pay a penny" means that you can't bear to pull out a hair and lose it, which is extremely selfish.

7. Questions about the idiom "Nothing" The full text of "Nothing":

A monkey died. He met Hades and asked for a human body. The king said, "If you want to be a man, you must pull out all your hair." Is called hag pull (2). Party three pulled out one, but the monkey couldn't beat it. The king of hell smiled. "Look at you, you can't even pull up a hair. How can you be a man?" ? "-"Laughing Forest "

Description: ① from: (from)

② One: (pronoun, hair represents a monkey)

③ Party: (Just now, just now)

(4) Win: (Endure)

How to be a man without money? :

You see, you can't even pull out a hair. How can you be a man? )

There is an idiom in the article: (not a penny) is interpreted as: (not even pulling out a hair, describing people as very stingy and selfish. )

8. The Iron Rooster writes a 300-word composition on the topic. In people's eyes, the "iron cock" is stingy, very stingy. In my eyes, the "iron cock" also has good and bad points.

In our life, people generally think that the "iron cock" is unwilling to pay more money in life, and it is impossible for others to take anything from him, because it needs money to buy, and the "iron cock" in life is also very selfish. Although the "iron rooster" in life is bad in front of people, it is not good, but it will be better for us to be the "iron rooster" in study.

In front of study, we should be an "iron rooster", because only we are meticulous about our study and don't want to lose our knowledge. Every class absorbs knowledge like a sponge, and the notes made by the teacher are copied in the notebook. Isn't this very bad for us? As the saying goes, "the best memory is better than bad writing", and only in this way can we improve our grades. Is it not good to be an "iron rooster" for learning?

Is there no good or bad in "Iron Rooster"?