How are "Mambo Men" cultivated? I summed up my mother-in-law's methods. What do you think?

1

I know a woman who didn't realize that she married a mambo until she really got married.

Before getting married, her mother-in-law didn't get involved in the love of two people too much, so she always lived in peace. That's why she underestimated the difficulties she would face after getting married.

Because when she was in love, she had already noticed that her husband often talked about his mother and often mentioned filial piety as a child.

but on second thought, filial piety should have been, so she didn't care.

Moreover, when she is in love, her husband is a good person to her, with a gentle temper, and he is more able to let her go, which makes her concentrate on her own love and ignore everything else.

It is precisely because of her love that she chose to turn her back on him knowing that his family was in a bad condition.

When she got married, she said that she didn't want anything, so she directly agreed to get married and get a license.

She has her own opinion on this matter: she thinks that marrying him herself is a win-win situation, and it doesn't need a bride price, nor does it need to advance the risks existing in the marriage.

Only later did she realize her naivety. If the other person is also a person who has enough independent ability and knows how to reflect, then this idea will make sense.

Otherwise, in the eyes of her husband-in-law, her naked marriage may be misinterpreted as a bully.

After marriage, they can only live with their mother-in-law because there is only one house in the family. There is also brother in law, who is ten years behind her husband and still in primary school.

when she got married, she knew all these things, but still because of her love, she didn't think it was a big deal.

Not long after her marriage, she really began to face the contradiction between her mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law.

2

She often says that her mother-in-law is a showgirl.

because it's really a face-to-face thing, and a back-to-face thing, and it's completely two people in front of her husband and her. Unfortunately, no matter what she says, her husband won't listen.

her husband's point of view is only one: my mother can't be wrong.

Later, it became even worse. From time to time, her mother-in-law was deliberately embarrassed by her. Her husband sometimes saw it clearly and pretended not to see it. When she asked him, she wouldn't talk.

at first, she thought that her husband would change if he knew her mother-in-law's intentional dilemma, but later she found out that he still only listened to her mother-in-law.

once, she threw away one of her husband's clothes because there was a hole in it. Later, her mother-in-law made a scene at home and said that she was deliberately targeting herself. She bought that dress for her son.

her husband quarreled with her because of such a thing. In life, I gradually saw the attitude that my husband and mother-in-law stood together, and I couldn't help feeling chilling.

There are many other things. After marriage, her husband still listens to her mother-in-law. Every month, she has to give her salary to her mother for safekeeping, and her mother-in-law still buys all the clothes she wears.

even her mother-in-law won't let her husband wear the clothes she bought. She only felt puzzled and didn't understand why she cared, but her mother-in-law insisted, and her husband would still listen.

Because her mother-in-law has another killer: crying.

She cried and said that it was not easy for her to raise them. She said how much she had suffered and suffered. Her husband hated her mother's behavior. When she cried, she felt that she was unfilial and obeyed her.

She is watching jokes coldly. Her husband is really hopeless.

3

She used to wonder, how did those "mamao men" grow up? Later, she found the answer from her mother-in-law, summed up her mother-in-law's method, and three steps were enough.

Because now, her mother-in-law is raising her little son in the same way.

First, since he was a child, he began to deprive him of the will to make his own decisions and let him do everything according to his own ideas.

The mother of "Ma Baonan" usually deprives her son of his own independent thoughts when he is young.

They will use some methods to make their sons listen to their own ideas. For example, her son likes to eat meat, and she says it will be better to eat green vegetables, so she will keep looking for reasons to let her son eat green vegetables.

There are many reasons for this. For example, if you don't do what your mother says, your mother won't love you any more, your little friends won't play with you, and the playground you promised to go to won't take you, and so on.

there is always a way to make a son compromise.

after such a long time, he will begin to blur his original requirements and become easy to listen to his mother's words, even when he grows up, because such an idea has been formed.

brother in law of her family is now in primary school, and her mother-in-law often uses her favorite toys or pocket money as a bargaining chip to make decisions for her youngest son.

She thought that her husband should have grown up in this way.

second: constantly strengthen the importance of "obedience" for him.

Her mother-in-law often tells her little son that the most important quality of a good child is to be obedient and listen to her mother's words before she can grow into a useful person.

She thinks that obedience and growing up to be a useful person have nothing to do with it at all, but because her mother-in-law talks too much, it is obvious that both her sons believe this sentence.

Third, keep repeating your own hardships and difficulties, instilling the concept of filial piety

Her mother-in-law's most common sentence is: "Mom is the person who loves you the most in the world, and will never harm you. Everything she does is in the hope that you can be good."

Moreover, it's not easy to tell yourself often. For this family and two children, you can say that you have sacrificed everything.

Therefore, her husband feels guilty. He thinks that his mother's life is not easy, and naturally he will not disobey her. If he does, he will feel his conscience is uneasy.

This is what her husband told her personally. After she had a conflict with her mother-in-law, her husband helped her mother and said that she was unfilial.

Therefore, the concept of filial piety has been instilled too much and too blindly, so her husband can't come out naturally.

4

Even once, their family sat together and watched TV. The story of TV was probably that a son wanted to divorce his wife who had been married for more than ten years for his mother.

In her opinion, it was the fault of the mother-in-law on TV, who was too strong and involved in the affairs of her son's small family, but her mother-in-law said to her husband, "Look at her, how filial she is, it should be like this."

her heart was jammed with panic, but her husband nodded solemnly.

After only three years of marriage, she completely regretted it, saying that she blamed herself for thinking too simply at that time, thinking that his good before marriage could be maintained after marriage. If there is no mother-in-law involved, it can actually be maintained.

Her husband is usually kind to her after marriage, but when he faces his mother, he will stick to his own opinions and stand on her side indiscriminately, while her mother-in-law is not a worry-free person.

She said that she didn't know how long she could hold on. Maybe one day, after she was completely disappointed and exhausted her love, she would choose to leave.

It's a pity that she didn't stop the loss in time. When she got stuck, she felt it was difficult to leave. Because there was still love, it was always difficult for her to make up her mind.

Hesitation is sometimes a stumbling block to happiness.