~ ~ begging for jokes

1. Ghost: God, next time I want to be as white as an angel with wings, but I still want to suck blood.

God: Then reincarnate as a nurse.

2. After the performance of the beautiful Mongolian actress, the leader came to the stage to receive her, and then her hand asked her if she was cold or warm. She refused to let go for a long time and asked kindly, what's your name? The actress replied excitedly, "Maragobi Matsumoto".

3. A person saw a pile of things on the road, squatted down to smell it, said it might be poop, touched it with his hand and licked it in his mouth. It was really poop, but fortunately he didn't step on it! ~

The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. A: I feel sand in my shoes, so I shake my shoes with a telephone pole. I shook and shook ... a man thought I was electrocuted, so he grabbed a stick and gave me two.

5. A professor is teaching in the field: "Don't be afraid of being dirty in scientific research. . . "Then he squatted down, poked the cow dung on the ground with his finger, and then put his finger in his mouth and licked it clean. A classmate quickly said, "I'm not afraid of being dirty." . . "Then I poked the cow dung on the ground with my finger and licked it in my mouth. Professor: "Besides, I should be good at observation. I just poked the feces with my middle finger, but I licked my index finger. " . . "

6. In a public toilet, Mr. A was constipated and couldn't pull it out for a long time. Just then, another man, Mr. B, rushed in, just squatted down and pulled slowly. After listening, Mr. A said, "Dude, I really envy you for playing so happily." Mr. B said, "What is there to envy? I haven't taken off my pants yet ... "

7. A couple gave birth to a little boy after contraceptive failure. The child clenched his fist and kept laughing. The nurse broke his fist and found birth control pills in it. Then the little boy said, "You two want to kill me, it's not that easy, hahahaha ..."

8. The devil caught the princess.

The devil said: you can shout your throat out, and no one will come to save you!

Princess: Break your throat, break your throat!

Nobody: Princess, I'm coming to save you!

Devil: Speak of the devil!

Cao Cao: Devil, what do you want me to do?

Devil: Wow, I saw a ghost!

Ghost: Shit! Someone found out.

Shit: Nonsense, who found me?

Who: It's none of my business!

Devil: Oh, my God!

God: Who called me? !

Who: Nobody called you!

Nobody: I didn't! ! !

It is said that the devil has suffered from schizophrenia since then.

9. A new sculpture was built in a school-a girl with a book in her left hand and a white dove in her right hand. The school leaders openly call the students names in the school. There was an endless stream of replies, and one of them was the loudest: reading is for birds!