Seek riddles, fables, jokes and ancient poems about happiness.

The beast with the most jokes, the evil white rabbit!

1, the first day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river, caught nothing and went home.

The next day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river again, but found nothing and went home.

On the third day, the little white rabbit just arrived at the river, and a big fish jumped out of the river and shouted at the little white rabbit:

If you use carrots as fucking bait again, I'll kill you!

2. The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much."

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay.

The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there is still no"

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again.

On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" " "

3. The little white rabbit was walking in the forest. When he met the wolf, he came up and put two big ears on the little white rabbit and said, "I told you not to wear a hat." The little white rabbit left very grievance.

The next day, she skipped out of the house wearing a hat and met the wolf again. He came up and gave the white rabbit two big mouths and said, "I told you to wear a hat."

Tutu is depressed. After thinking for a long time, I finally decided to complain to the king of the forest, Tiger.

After explaining the situation, the tiger said, "OK, I see. I will handle this matter, so trust the organization." On the same day, the tiger found his partner wolf. "It is wrong for you to do so. This is very difficult for me. " Then he wiped the dust off the table: "Do you think this will work?" You can say, Tutu, come and find me a piece of meat! She found the fat one, and you said you wanted the thin one. She found a thin one, and you said you wanted a fat one. So you can hit her. Of course, you can also say that. Tutu, come and find me a woman. She found plump ones, and you said you liked slim ones. She found a slim one, and you said you liked the plump one. You can beat her. It is both reasonable and powerful. "The wolf nodded and clapped his hands, and the reverence for the tiger once again reached a new peak. Unexpectedly, the above instructions were heard by the little white rabbit who was weeding the tiger's house outside the window. I hate this in my heart.

The next day, the little white rabbit went out again. What a coincidence! It's the big bad wolf coming. The wolf said, "Tutu, come and find me a piece of meat." Tutu said, "So, do you want to be fat or thin?" The wolf listened, his heart sank and he was happy again. He said, fortunately, there is a plan B. He added, "Tutu, Mary, find me a woman." Tutu asked, "So, do you like plump or slim?" The wolf was silent for 2 seconds and raised his hand to give Tutu two big ear stickers. "Shit, I told you not to wear a hat."

4. Bears and rabbits shit in the forest. After that, the bear asked the rabbit, "Do you mind the poop sticking to you?" The rabbit said, "Never mind ~"

So the bear picked up the rabbit and wiped his ass.

A rabbit molested a wolf (this rabbit is very strong).

Then he ran away and the wolf chased him angrily.

The rabbit will catch up with the wolf when it sees it.

He sat under a tree,

Put on sunglasses and read the newspaper.

Pretend nothing happened,

Then the wolf came and saw the rabbit sitting under the tree.

Q: "Did you see a rabbit running past!"

The rabbit replied, "Did the rabbit tease the wolf?"

The wolf shouted, "No way! It's in the newspaper so soon! ! ! "

6. One day, a white rabbit came to a shop and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shook his head: "No, this is a pharmacy."

The little white rabbit ran away with a whoosh.

The next day, the little white rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shook his head angrily: "No! Tell you it's a pharmacy! "

The little white rabbit ran away with a whoosh.

On the third day, the white rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shouted angrily, "No, no! Ask me again and I'll pull out your tooth with a vise! "

The little white rabbit ran away with a whoosh.

The fourth day, the white rabbit came to the shop again and asked timidly, "Boss, do you have a vise?"

The boss said, "No."

The little white rabbit then asked, "Do you have any carrots?"

The boss grabbed the white rabbit angrily and took out a hammer to knock its teeth out.

The fourth day, the white rabbit came to the shop again and asked vaguely, "Boss, do you have carrot juice?"

7. The white rabbit and the bear were walking in the forest and accidentally kicked over a jar.

An elf came out of the pot and said that he could satisfy their three wishes.

The bear said, "Turn me into the strongest bear in the world." Its wish has come true.

The white rabbit said, "Give me a small helmet." Its wish has also come true.

The bear said, "Turn me into the most beautiful bear in the world." Its wish has come true again.

The white rabbit said, "Give me a bike." Its wish has come true again.

The bear said, "Turn all other bears in the world into bitches!" " "

The little white rabbit got on the bike and said as he ran, "Turn this bear into a homosexual ..."

8. There is a little white rabbit running happily in the forest.

On the way, it met a giraffe who was taking drugs.

The white rabbit said to the giraffe, "Giraffe Giraffe, why did you do something that hurt yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The giraffe looked at the drug and the white rabbit and threw the drug behind her.

Running in the forest with rabbits.

Then they met an elephant who was about to take drugs.

The white rabbit said to the elephant, "elephant, elephant, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The elephant looked at the drug and the white rabbit and threw the drug behind him.

Running in the forest with rabbits and giraffes.

Then they met a lion about to take drugs.

The white rabbit said to the lion, "Lion, lion, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The lion looked at the drug and the white rabbit, threw the drug behind him and rushed over to beat the white rabbit hard.

The elephant and giraffe trembled with fear: "why did you hit the white rabbit?"

It is so kind, cares about our health and makes us close to nature. "

The lion said, "This bastard rabbit drags me around the forest like an idiot every time he eats ecstasy."

Happy station!

1 Are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, but you want to throw stones at my head!

I think I should go to lose weight. Last time I donated blood, I actually shed a hundred milliliters of lard.

Tourist: Master, is the straw house over there a toilet? Monk: Except that thatched cottage, all the places are toilets.

4. Without hair, dandruff is more prominent!

Shit and urine are good brothers. One day, I was killed by a car when I was crossing the street, so I said, I miss shit so much …

6. I signed up for a weight-loss training class yesterday, and they asked me to wear loose clothes during training. How dare you? If there are still loose clothes, then why should I sign up?

7. My wife and I haven't spoken for 18 months, so I have no chance to interrupt her.

Thief A: Count how much money was robbed today? Thief B: No, just read the newspaper tomorrow.

Stand higher and pee farther.

10. Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

1 1. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let others find it.

12 one night, when a young woman passed a mental hospital, suddenly there was a "wow" behind her. The woman turned her head and saw a naked man chasing her. The woman began to run in fear, and the man behind her followed. No, there's a dead end ahead. Desperate, the woman knelt on the ground and cried and begged, "Whatever, just don't kill me." The man smiled cunningly and said, "Really? Then you start chasing me now. "

13. At a literary evening, the host came to the stage and announced: Please enjoy the following: Xinjiang song and dance, lift your skull! The whole audience was silent and creepy! ! ! Cold ~ ~ ~

14 tigers don't send cats, you think I'm dying!

15. One person in our dormitory drank too much urine and then came up with a cold sentence: if you drink too much wine, you will get more.

16 and my sister went to Li Ning to buy shoes. My sister said, "Miss, how much are these shoes?"

17. Before, someone came to my aunt's house and just came in. It happened that my aunt was going to the bathroom. She quickly greeted the guests and said, "Sit down, sit down, I'll go to the toilet and pour you some tea!" " "

18. When I was in college, a classmate quarreled with me and was at a disadvantage for a while. In desperation, I got up and shouted: You talk nonsense, I'm not stupid! I spit in your face with shit.

19. When I was young, popsicles and ice cream were usually sold on bicycles. Once, I heard an aunt shouting in the house: New ice cream is selling well. (It is estimated that Auntie used to sell fried dough sticks. )