A little joke to attract girls

During the lecture, the zipper of the female teacher's pants opened, and a girl stood up to remind: Teacher, your door is not closed! The teacher waved his hand: Never mind, the dean will visit in a moment.

2,

There is a girl named Jiao in the high school class. One day, she made a bet with her. What bet did you forget? She asked: What if I lose? Answer: I lost. My last name is Jiao. Loud voice, the whole class laughs loudly every day 10 minutes. ...

3,

The reporter interviewed an old lady! The reporter asked: "What do you think of setting off firecrackers casually in the city?" Grandma: "What else can you see? Is to climb the window to see ... "

4,

The girlfriend asked her boyfriend inexplicably, "Why do men have many girlfriends to envy and women have many boyfriends to despise?" ? ! "My boyfriend said seriously," Just like a key can open many locks, it will be called a master key! "! And if a lock can be opened by many keys, it means there is something wrong with the lock! "

5,

There is a beautiful girl who works in an IT company. One morning, the weather was so fine that the IT girl was so absorbed in her work that she didn't even notice that her skirt was caught in a drawer. When she stood up, her skirt hissed and was torn.

Colleagues have all heard about fame, and IT girls quickly picked up an IT magazine around them to cover it. Unexpectedly, my colleagues burst into laughter. It turns out that the cover of the magazine is an online game advertisement: "Super capacity, which can accommodate100000 users at the same time".

It picked up another magazine beautifully. Colleagues laughed again. The cover of this magazine is anti-virus software: "Beware of viruses". IT girls are going to faint.

She fainted when she picked up the third magazine. The third magazine is a hardware magazine, and the cover is a U disk advertisement: "Plug and Play".

In a daze, I still remember to protect the key parts, so I pulled the fourth magazine to cover it. When I woke up, I saw a shopping guide magazine that said, "30% off!" " Faint again.

6,

Hey, learning is too difficult! Make tofu! Tofu is the safest; The hard thing to do is dried tofu! Thin is tofu brain! Thin is tofu skin! No, soybean milk! If you can't sell it, you can still sell it as stinky tofu-

7,

Long time no see, old classmate. What's your annual salary now? B: Three million. A: Is there 200,000 to 300,000 that month? Yes, this is the basic salary. A: Not bad. What do you do? B: Dreaming.

8,

After an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl, his friend said, "Poor girl. You can be her grandfather. " The old man was very dissatisfied: "I am more wronged. Her grandfather is two years younger than me, but I have to pretend to be a grandson! " "

9,

What is the biggest difference between men and women? Answer: "Less than the last one, but more than the next one"!

10,

The old couple went to take pictures, and the photographer asked, "Do you want to measure light, backlight or full light?" Grandpa said shyly, "I don't care." Can you leave a pair of underwear for your aunt? "

Dear friends, it is not easy to find some good jokes. If you think it's funny, stick to it!

After reading this post, I feel good and top-notch. There is no doubt that my jokes are high, my IQ is high, my life is happy and I am healthy!

Don't say anything

1 1, the women's bathroom caught fire, and the people inside were in a mess, running around naked, only to see a large group of glistening people in the street. An old man shouted "Cover it up quickly", and the naked woman suddenly woke up, but there were three important parts on her body, and she was at a loss and at a loss. At this time, the old man shouted again: "Just cover your face, it's the same below!"

12, Tang Priest and his disciples went to the Western Heaven to learn Buddhist scriptures. The Tang Priest wanted to take a shortcut, so he asked Wukong. Wukong replied: the plane is much faster than Bai, and Zhu Bajie hinted that Shenzhou VI was faster. Then Friar Sand took out four bullet train tickets: "Master heard that this thing can take you to the Western Heaven at once." Seeing that Master was puzzled, Pig suggested, Believe it or not, I finally got on the Western Heaven Expressway, and the Tang Priest could not help but sigh:

13,

The couple divorced for their children, and the wife confidently said, "Everything in my stomach is mine!" " "The husband said," joke! This is complete nonsense. Can the money withdrawn from the ATM go to the ATM? No one inserted the card! ?

14, a certain gentleman is addicted to alcohol and lives a life of "drinking and sleeping for half a day" all day. One day, a man asked him why he always drinks. He said, "I can only sleep peacefully after drinking wine." The man asked him why he always loves to sleep, and he confidently said, "I don't even think about drinking before going to bed."

15, Jane Zhang said: "Fans who worship me say my idol is English."

He Jie said: "My fans say my idol is Jay."

Said: "fans who worship me say: my idol is constant."

Chris Lee said: "You talk, I walked first.