April fool's day funny connotation paragraph reading

Lead: April Fool's Day is coming. I collected some funny jokes about April Fool's Day. I hope everyone can succeed and have a good time on April Fool's Day.

1. The police greeted the hundredth passing car in the newly-built tunnel and prepared to give bonuses and souvenirs to the lucky ones. Policeman: What are you going to do with this bonus? Driver: I want to get my driver's license first. His wife quickly explained: I'm sorry, my husband drank too much and said nonsense. My hard-of-hearing mother said, I knew you couldn't get far by stealing a car. .

2. A friend who likes to show off called me: You know, I am in Bali now. ? I said:? Oh, I am only five miles from you. What? You went abroad, too? I am in Sanlitun. ?

I bought a new bed, which is much wider than the old one. In the evening, my wife slept in the bed and felt that the bed was wide enough to sleep three people. ? Husband immediately interface:? I'd like someone to sleep here as long as you like. ? The wife said:? As long as you are not jealous, of course I will be jealous. ?

4. Old ghost: Kid, where's the paper money your family burned the other day? Kidd: GREAT GHOST and I have invested together. Old ghost: Did you make any money? Child: this fool, ghost has no feet, but wants to open a shoe store!

5. In a college English class, one of my buddies concentrated on playing with his mobile phone. Suddenly the teacher asked him what his translation was, and the tragedy came. After he stood up, he hurriedly asked me what my teacher asked me to do. I casually replied, the teacher asked you if you had dinner. This guy answered without thinking, teacher, I ate! The class was quiet for a while, and suddenly it was boiling.

6. Pay my salary today, and call my husband: Honey, what do you want to eat? I'll buy it for you after work? Husband said:? Oh, great, I want to eat roast duck! Well, whatever is lower than 5 yuan, just pick it! ! ? Husband:? Then give me ten 5 yuan roast ducks. ?

7. Lena failed to get pregnant and went to church to pray. A year later, she gave birth to a son. A friend wanted to try it after learning about it. Lena said, no problem, as long as the young janitor is still here. Yidian market network

Did your wife make a scene last night? Yes, she is angry with dogs. Poor dog! I think I heard your wife even threaten to take the key to the door!

Judge: You claim that the defendant stole money from your socks? Girl: Yes, my Lord. Judge: Then why didn't you resist? The girl blushed and replied, I didn't know he wanted to steal my money.

10, a woman took a check to the bank to cash it. Teller: Can you prove yourself? Puzzled, the woman took out the mirror and took a look. A: Yes! It's me

1 1, there was a sea of people in the supermarket, and suddenly the broadcast sounded: Which parent lost a 4-year-old boy wearing a yellow plaid shirt and blue jeans, please go to the reception desk immediately to claim it. ? I saw a tired woman next to me and immediately said to the man around me: When someone is babysitting for us, go and buy some food. ?

12. When an American was visiting Scotland, he saw a shepherd holding a shepherd dog and asked him to bid 50 yuan to buy it, but the old man refused. I can't lose it. ? At this time, a man with an English accent came over and bought a dog at the same price. The shepherd agreed. ? Why did you say not to sell just now? The American shouted angrily. The old man whispered: It can't swim across the Atlantic? .

13. When the calf was shopping, he met the lamb. He was envious when he saw the lamb wearing a pair of sunglasses. Wow! Wearing sunglasses is cool, so you are also a trendsetter! ? The lamb took off her sunglasses and sighed. Alas, I can't help it. The grass is yellow in autumn, and I still want to eat it, so,?

A: I want to remind you that my husband will be back in an hour. But I didn't do anything rude I know. If you want to do something, there is less than an hour left.

15. Giraffe and civet cat got married, and a year later, Giraffe filed for divorce: I will never live this kind of jumping up and down again! Civet cat is furious: Leave it alone! Who has seen kissing and climbing trees!

16, one day, the rooster fell into the water and shouted for help. The duck swimming in the river immediately swam in front of it and shouted, Give me your hand quickly. ? The rooster said, no, it will pluck my beautiful feathers. I am a miser. ? So the rooster finally drowned in the river.

17, a gecko strayed into the crocodile pool and died. The gecko was in a hurry, hugged the crocodile and shouted: Mom! ? The crocodile was shocked and immediately burst into tears: Son, you are so thin, don't go to work again! Let's have a rest during the holiday. ?

18, I found it on the roadside 10 yuan, and gave it to the handsome webmaster. The handsome boy took the money and nodded to me. I am happy to say, hurry to be a member.

19 Long ago, an old man took his grandson out fishing. Unexpectedly, he was caught in a tsunami. Grandson was very worried and said to grandpa. Grandpa is going to have a strong wind. Let's go home. ? But his grandfather refused: dear grandson, grandpa has never seen any storms. He'll be fine. ? As soon as the voice fell, a huge wave came and interrupted the paddle of rowing. So grandpa said:? Dear grandson, the paddle is finished. ?

20. Polar bears were taken to a hot city by wolves. The polar bear said. It's too hot here. I'm going back to the North Pole. ? The wolf smiled. I'm ready for you. Wait a minute. After I deal with you, you can move into this refrigerator. The temperature inside is the same as that in the North Pole, and there are many pigs to accompany you, which won't make you lonely. ?

2 1. At the wedding scene, the bride and groom were about to exchange rings when a rich guy suddenly rushed to the stage and took out a bank card and said to the groom. Here, there are 3 million in it. You give me the bride. You are a fart! Stop fooling around here and get out! ? The groom took the card, turned to the bride and said.

22. I invited my girlfriend for coffee. I don't know why we quarreled. My girlfriend may be in a hurry. She picked up the coffee and poured it on me. And she spilled it on two buddies behind me. When I saw those two buddies covered in fancy tattoos, I didn't dare to apologize immediately. Sorry, man, it's my treat! ? A buddy:? Hum, you men have no good things, dear, do you think we will do this? The other buddy grabbed his hand quickly: Of course not. We love each other very much. ?

23. mom:? Look at your hands, how dirty they are! When have you ever seen my hands as dirty as yours No, mom, I've never seen you as old as me. ?

24. mom:? The big chimney in this factory is really annoying. It emits black smoke all day, which makes me breathless. Xiaohong:? Never mind, I'll get you dad's smoking cessation candy. ?

25. A girl, grade three. Her mother bought her a new pencil case. After two days, I found that the pencil case was missing, so I asked her where she had gone. The girl calmly replied:? As a breakup fee for my boyfriend. ?

26. children:? Mom, we finished the exam. ? Mom:? Look how thin you are. Mom will boil some eggs for you. ? Child:? No, the teacher gave it to me. ?

27. My daughter saw her mother wearing lipstick and asked:? Mom, why are you wearing lipstick? Put on lipstick. Beautiful! ? After listening, the daughter thought about it and said, Dad is so ugly, why not put some on him?

28. The wife learned that her son didn't eat well in kindergarten. When she got home, she said to her son. The meals you eat in kindergarten are all paid for by your parents, so you should eat more in the future and eat all the money we give back. ? Once, at a friend's wedding banquet, my son said loudly, Mom, eat more and get back all the money we paid. ?

29. In the church, a little boy was praying: Jesus Christ! I only have a small wish, please move the capital to new york! ? Hearing this, a priest asked the little boy, Children, why do you pray to move the capital to new york? There was a question asking where the capital was, and I answered new york. ?

30. children:? I found that dad is a huge fan! ? Mom:? How did you find the child: Through his signature on my report card, Zero Egg wrote: Good shot! ?

3 1, Xiaomei wrote down her wishes when she grew up in her composition book: first, I hope to have a lovely child; Second, I also hope to have a husband who loves me. It turns out that the teacher wrote a comment: Please pay attention to the order. ?

32. Once my girlfriend drank too much and accidentally rushed into the men's room. In front of all the panicked faces, the goods pretended to be calm and shouted:? What are you afraid of? I didn't bring my ruler ~ ~ ~?

33. Do you know? I really want to take you out to experience the charm of KTV! Do you know what KTV is? Then k stands for you, t stands for you, and finally I'll make a V gesture!

34. Humans have 23 pairs of chromosomes. One day, the old man who taught biology asked slowly: Students, how many chromosomes are right? ? Some idiot in the corner loudly replied:? 64 right! ? The old man nodded calmly and seriously. So, now tell me, what's the purpose of your coming to earth?

35、? Eleven? A few days ago, I surfed the Internet at home. My long-lost college classmates suddenly went online with qq and WeChat, and sent me a message of blessing. The first reaction was that this guy was getting married, so I made up an excuse to answer him decisively. Dude, me? Eleven? Engagement, will you come to my engagement party? Sure enough, he replied:? I'm sorry, me? Eleven? Married, it seems that you can't come either. ? ~ saved 500 oceans.