2009 New Year's Day joke

Five boys were taught to talk about smoking one by one by the snitch teacher:

The first boy truthfully admitted being beaten; Back to the dormitory, said:

Dude: I want it all, so don't admit it when you want it.

[Scene 1]

Teacher: To be honest, do you smoke?

Boy A: No. ..

Teacher: No? Well, French fries, please.

Boy A naturally stretched out two fingers and took it. ...........

[Scene 2]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy b: no.

Teacher: No? Well, French fries, please.

Boy B is holding French fries carefully because he heard about A.

Teacher: Don't you want some ketchup?

B accidentally got too much, and immediately played it with two fingers-

Teacher: No? The posture of playing ash is very skilled. Call your parents ...............

[Scene 3]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy c: no.

Teacher: No? All right, French fries.

Because of the first two examples, the boy C carefully finished the French fries with sweat.

Teacher: Aren't you going to take a root home for your classmates?

Boy C picked up French fries and put them on his ear. ..................

[Scene 4]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy d: No. ..

Teacher: Good. Have a French fries.

The boy ate the French fries with trepidation and put them in his coat pocket.

The teacher suddenly shouted, here comes the headmaster.

The boy was so busy that he took French fries out of his pocket and threw them on the ground, stomping on them. ......................

[Scene 5]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy: No.

Teacher: Good. Have a French fries.

The boy just took the French fries,

The teacher said: Don't invite me to dinner.

The boy was so busy that he handed the chips in his hand and then took out a lighter. ................

[Scene 6]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy: No.

Teacher: Good. Have a French fries.

The boy ate French fries with trepidation and put them in his upper pocket.

The teacher suddenly shouted, here comes the headmaster.

The boy has sweated his palms and bowed his head and said, hello, headmaster!

Teacher: The headmaster will smell your mouth.

The boy took the French fries out of his pocket: it's safe, it's still there, the fire hasn't lit yet …

[Scene 7]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Teacher: You really don't smoke? Ok, let's have a French fries.

Boy: It's natural to take away the French fries and eat them clean.

Teacher: That's a good boy. What brand of French fries do you usually like?

Boy: [Get carried away] Greater China. . . . .

Scene n:

Teacher: French fries, please!

Boy: No thanks.

lip print

The headmaster of the home school faces a problem, and the older female students in the school begin to wear lipstick. When they apply lipstick in the bathroom, they will print their lips on the mirror and leave lip prints. He thought of a way to stop the problem before it got out of control. So he called all the girls wearing lipstick and asked them to meet in the bathroom at 2 pm. When the girls arrived at the bathroom at 2 o'clock, they found the headmaster and supervisor already waiting there. The headmaster explained the problem to them and asked the supervisor to clean the bathroom mirror every night. He thinks the girls don't understand the seriousness of the problem, so he wants them to see for themselves how difficult it is to clean the mirror. Then the supervisor began to demonstrate. The warden took out a long-handled brush from the box, dipped it in some water in the nearest toilet, and then went to the mirror to start scrubbing.

After that, no one left lip prints on the mirror.

Jokes on New Year's Day

1, Happy New Year! Although these four words only cost me 1 cent, they are equivalent to 1.5 tons of blessings on you!

2. New Year weather forecast: You will encounter money rain, lucky wind, friendship fog, love dew, healthy glow, happy cloud, smooth frost, happy thunder, safe hail and happy flash, which will accompany you all year round.

3. Happy New Year. Sincerely bless you: God bless you! God cares about you! Bodhisattva loves you! To get clouds, to get rain.

4, I wish you beautiful every day, always happy, healthy, lucky, never lonely, make more money! Happy new year!

The Spring Festival is coming, I wish you good luck every day and a better life. You win the lottery every time, which is delicious. If you forget me, be careful with the stick.

6. I wish you in the new year: financial resources are rolling like a fat pig; Great body, as strong as a bear; Love is as sweet as a bee; Money is rolling in, a dime a dozen!

7, a flower picked for a long time, reluctant to lose; An umbrella lasted for a long time, but I didn't remember to collect it when the rain stopped; A road has been walking for a long time, and it can't go to the end when it gets dark; Anyway, I've been waiting for a long time … Happy New Year!

8. I wish the new year a smooth sailing, two dragons take off, three sheep open Thailand, peace in the four seasons, five blessings, great harmony in June and June, seven stars shining high, making money from all directions, and unity and perfection in 1999.

9. God said: Happiness means having a grateful heart, a healthy body, a satisfactory job, a person who loves you deeply and a group of trustworthy friends. You will have everything! Happy new year!

10, in order to thank you for your concern and support over the years, we will give you a special reward during New Year's Day! Anyone who has a certain position in my heart will get my value 10 yuan's New Year's message.

1 1, zero in the exam is called duck egg, bad behavior is called bad egg, empty head is called idiot, fire is called fuck off, alas, it is called finished, and the egg is too perfect is called round egg-Happy New Year!

12, it's really tiring to be alive: I have to queue up when I get on the bus, I love you and suffer, I have no fragrance when I eat, I get drunk when I drink, and I have to pay taxes when I earn money! Even texting pigs costs money! I wish you a happy New Year

13, the new year has new changes every year, but my heart has not changed, my vows have not changed, and I want to ... grow old with you.

14, if you are alone now, I wish you a happy new year; If it's two people, it's also a happy new year; If it is a group, please tell me where you are.

15, I wish: reunification begins and Vientiane is updated; Good luck every year, peace every year; Financial resources are rolling, rich and auspicious; Happiness, happiness and celebration; Bamboo is safe and full of blessings; be radiant with delight/joy

16, friendship is delicious rice, hot pot and burning spirit Erguotou. Hungry again, have a drink on New Year's Day!

17, pain is the best of others, and happiness is your own; Trouble will be temporary, but friends will last forever; Love is managed by heart, and there is nothing important in the world. Happy New Year!

18, I wish: the leader is partial to you, the police let you, the court faces you, the official luck follows you, the daughter-in-law leaves it to you, eat and drink at will, the fortune covers you, and only you win the prize!

19, freeze! Put your hands up, those you know stand on the left, those you don't know stand on the right, and those who want to laugh stand in the middle. Say you! Put down your mobile phone, stand against the wall with your hands on your head, and listen carefully: Happy New Year to you.

20. The New Year is coming. I want to give you something, but I don't intend to give you too much. I only give you 50 million: be happy! Good health! Be safe! Be content! Don't forget me!

Responder: Ronnie _-Magician Level 4 12-29 20:46

That's great. so funny

Respondent: Wen Erlang-probationary period level 1 12-30 03:06.

1, Happy New Year! Although these four words only cost me 1 cent, they are equivalent to 1.5 tons of blessings on you!

2. New Year weather forecast: You will encounter money rain, lucky wind, friendship fog, love dew, healthy glow, happy cloud, smooth frost, happy thunder, safe hail and happy flash, which will accompany you all year round.

3. Happy New Year. Sincerely bless you: God bless you! God cares about you! Bodhisattva loves you! To get clouds, to get rain.

4, I wish you beautiful every day, always happy, healthy, lucky, never lonely, make more money! Happy new year!

The Spring Festival is coming, I wish you good luck every day and a better life. You win the lottery every time, which is delicious. If you forget me, be careful with the stick.

6. I wish you in the new year: financial resources are rolling like a fat pig; Great body, as strong as a bear; Love is as sweet as a bee; Money is rolling in, a dime a dozen!

7, a flower picked for a long time, reluctant to lose; An umbrella lasted for a long time, but I didn't remember to collect it when the rain stopped; A road has been walking for a long time, and it can't go to the end when it gets dark; Anyway, I've been waiting for a long time … Happy New Year!

8. I wish the new year a smooth sailing, two dragons take off, three sheep open Thailand, peace in the four seasons, five blessings, great harmony in June and June, seven stars shining high, making money from all directions, and unity and perfection in 1999.

9. God said: Happiness means having a grateful heart, a healthy body, a satisfactory job, a person who loves you deeply and a group of trustworthy friends. You will have everything! Happy new year!

10, in order to thank you for your concern and support over the years, we will give you a special reward during New Year's Day! Anyone who has a certain position in my heart will get my value 10 yuan's New Year's message.

1 1, zero in the exam is called duck egg, bad behavior is called bad egg, empty head is called idiot, fire is called fuck off, alas, it is called finished, and the egg is too perfect is called round egg-Happy New Year!

12, it's really tiring to be alive: I have to queue up when I get on the bus, I love you and suffer, I have no fragrance when I eat, I get drunk when I drink, and I have to pay taxes when I earn money! Even texting pigs costs money! I wish you a happy New Year

13, the new year has new changes every year, but my heart has not changed, my vows have not changed, and I want to ... grow old with you.

14, if you are alone now, I wish you a happy new year; If it's two people, it's also a happy new year; If it is a group, please tell me where you are.

15, I wish: reunification begins and Vientiane is updated; Good luck every year, peace every year; Financial resources are rolling, rich and auspicious; Happiness, happiness and celebration; Bamboo is safe and full of blessings; be radiant with delight/joy

16, friendship is delicious rice, hot pot and burning spirit Erguotou. Hungry again, have a drink on New Year's Day!

17, pain is the best of others, and happiness is your own; Trouble will be temporary, but friends will last forever; Love is managed by heart, and there is nothing important in the world. Happy New Year!

18, I wish: the leader is partial to you, the police let you, the court faces you, the official luck follows you, the daughter-in-law leaves it to you, eat and drink at will, the fortune covers you, and only you win the prize!

19, freeze! Put your hands up, those you know stand on the left, those you don't know stand on the right, and those who want to laugh stand in the middle. Say you! Put down your mobile phone, stand against the wall with your hands on your head, and listen carefully: Happy New Year to you.

20. The New Year is coming. I want to give you something, but I don't intend to give you too much. I only give you 50 million: be happy! Good health! Be safe! Be content! Don't forget me!