Does anyone have the latest cold jokes or embarrassing remarks? Eat more. Want the latest.

Do you know why Yang Guo jumped off a cliff? Because. . . The father is Kang. .

The taxi got on the radio and said, "Hello everyone! I am Christine, Christine! " The driver said, MD, you can stutter on the radio now!

Yesterday, I passed a footbridge with my colleagues, and saw a buddy about our age standing by the railing, with the words "Help 6 yuan ride home" written in front of him. Colleagues said coldly: Shit, the price has gone up again. (I have seen 2 yuan before-_-||)

A friend went to buy a big cake, which read Zhuge Zang Zang. We are all thinking: Who is Zhuge Zang Zang? The friend said: just to cheat more cream.

My son came home trembling: "Dad, I only got 60 points in the exam today." Dad is very angry: "Don't call me dad next time you fail the exam!" " "The next day, my son came back:" I'm sorry, brother! " "

My friend has made a lot of money recently, earning more than 10 thousand yuan a day. I asked him how he got here so soon. He said that he had set up an individual bus operation, which was under the name of the bus company. There are buses running every day, but the bus card reader on the bus is removed, so the speaker is pinched off, and the wife is packed in a schoolbag and squeezed into the subway. As long as you are near someone's backpack, you will get two dollars. Don't dare to buckle more, otherwise it will be easy to reveal the stuffing …

Yesterday in the sea area of the supermarket, a crab climbed very hard from the box with the price of 18.99 to the box with the price of 29.99, regardless of the situation of being tied! I stopped to stare for a long time and couldn't help but burst into tears.

The new marriage law clearly stipulates that women are not allowed to wear bras and underwear. Wearing a bra mainly violates the crime of keeping mistresses, wearing underwear violates the crime of keeping farts, and men wearing underwear seriously violates the crime of holding guns!

Cangshan has a unique well, where the sky falls and the stars fall, and the brook springs reflect flowers. Songjiang Island is Ye Feng.

The masses have crossed the river, and the cadres are still pretending to touch the stones.

My colleague's surname is Lu, and my daughter-in-law has just given birth to a big fat son. He wanted to give his son a foreign name, so he asked me if my name was Lucas. I said without thinking, yours won't be Kansai, will it?

Raw rice is cooked into mature rice, and I am not afraid that you will not submit.

Don't play dead, play dead, whip the body.

There are beggars asking for money in Lu Yu, and I said I have no change! The beggar said: it doesn't matter, I can get the change!

Research shows that watching CCTV often at night will lower people's IQ.

Today, a patient told me that he had only three months to live. I want to say something encouraging! Comfort: 3 months, soon passed, be strong!

How to describe your appearance in four words! The strongest answer is: forget it.

A robber broke into the bank and shouted with a gun, lie down and don't move! Everyone lay down without saying a word. The robber glanced at the cashier lying on the table and said, please lie politely! This is robbery, not robbery!

What is the most awesome sentence after being beaten by a group of people? A: Grass, what's the big deal? I thought it was chrysanthemum.

Panda man wants QJ panda woman, and panda woman struggles and resists to the death. Panda Man said angrily after the failure: "I really don't understand, we are all going extinct ~ ~!" "

Grandpa ate an egg without yolk on his birthday. I am very happy. Why? Because long live yellow, long live yellow!

The teacher asked: Please use "or" to make a sentence ... or ... ". Student: A string of candied haws is one yuan, either, or?