Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Twelve (on)

Twelve (on)

When Fang Bo came in with a newspaper, Zhou was banging on the computer to write a report.

He has just returned from a meeting in Chengdu Military Region.

Zhou Yu looked up at Fang Bo with a full face of anxiety in front of the computer.

"I … I … I … you … you … you …"

Fang Bo took a newspaper and pointed to Zhou Yu for a long time without making it clear what he was doing. Zhou Yu rubbed his sore shoulder and said

"Brother Bo, slowly say that you are not in a hurry."

Say that finish also took a sip of the cup on the table.

"You're getting married."

Fang Bo looked at Zhou, and Yu kept popping his eyes out. He put down his glass and reached for the newspaper in Fang Bo's hand.

Zhou Yu, an engineer of Beijing Military Division, tied the knot with Colonel Fan Zhendong of Beijing Military Region.

Eye-catching headlines, two combined photos occupy half of the newspaper.

"Yes, I'm getting married."

Zhou Yu stuffed the newspaper back into Fang Bo's hand and went back to the computer to write the report.

"Eldest brother, do you want to be so light? Are you getting married? Are you going to fly a plane in another military region? Are you getting married? "

Listening to Fang Bo's words, Zhou Yu didn't have any emotions, as if Fang Bo was just talking to him about what he ate this morning.

"What's the difference? It's different who I marry. You are not ignorant of my situation. "

Fang Bo was speechless. He rolled up the newspaper, rolled it in his hand, dragged the chair beside him, sat down and said to Zhou Yu

"You go to Chengdu for a meeting and then come back with good news of your wedding. This is not the case."

Zhou Yu said while tapping the keyboard.

"Before I went, Hao elder brother found me. He said he wanted me to meet someone by the way, so I did. After seeing him, I felt that it was not bad. The other party was Wu's grandson. I haven't lost anything. "

"Lying in the trough is so perfunctory."

Looking at Fang Bo's incredible expression, Zhou Yu thought it was really perfunctory.

He met Fan Zhendong the day before he returned to Beijing.

Zhou Yu, who was hiding in the room to sort out the meeting materials, felt the vibration of the mobile phone in his trouser pocket.

He took out his mobile phone and found a signed message on it, without comment.

"Hello, Colonel Zhou Yu, I'm Fan Zhendong. I'm downstairs in the guest house now. May I invite you to dinner? "

Zhou Yu stared at this message and thought for a long time to react. He was invited to dinner by his promised blind date.

"convenience"

Zhou Yu replied to the message, put the information in his hand back into the folder, took the wallet on the table, put it in his trouser pocket and went out.

Zhou Yu came down from the army guest house and saw Fan Zhendong standing at the gate with one hand in combat uniform.

Fan Zhendong seems to be on the phone to arrange things. When Zhou Yu approached, he heard what he was saying.

"You always go to that house and wait for me. I will come over when I am busy here. "

There are other arrangements, so let's end it early. Don't waste other people's time, Zhou Yu thought to himself.

Fan Zhendong saw Zhou Yu coming down and hurriedly hung up the phone, turned around and gave Zhou Yujing a military-like salute.

"Hello, Colonel Zhou Yu, I'm Fan Zhendong."

Although Wang Hao showed Zhou Yu the photos of Fan Zhendong before, now Zhou Yu sees a real person and feels that this person is not like a climber in the army at all, just like a zongzi.

Zhou Yu gave a military-like salute and said

"Hello, Colonel Fan, I'm Zhou Yu."

The atmosphere suddenly became awkward. Zhou Yu looked at Fan Zhendong, who stood in front and scratched his head and obviously didn't know what to do next. He sighed.

"I thought we were eating. Let's go. "

Two people walked out of the hostel side by side. Fan Zhendong met many acquaintances along the way. Zhou Yu also had to greet him with a military salute. Maybe it is too stuffy in Chengdu in June. Zhou Yu felt bored for no reason.

He knew that Wang Hao did it for his own good, but he really didn't feel it, and it was not up to him to decide. Zhou Yu was thinking, if you screw up this time, you can tell Brother Hao not to work in vain.

"Colonel Zhou Yu, Colonel Zhou Yu"

"Ah?"

"Here we are."

While Zhou Yu was still immersed in his thoughts, Fan Zhendong had taken him to a small restaurant next to the hotel.

While Zhou Yu was still watching, Fan Zhendong lifted the curtain and said to Zhou Yu

"Go in."

Zhou Yu followed Fan Zhendong and went in. Obviously, the decoration outside looks like an ordinary small restaurant, but it has a unique flavor and has the shadow of Tongfu Inn.

Zhou Yu looked at Fan Zhendong and greeted the boss skillfully. He has a bright smile on his face, big eyes and small eyes, and a shallow pear vortex that is not easy to find.

"This is Colonel Zhou Yu, an engineer of Beijing Military Division."

Zhou Yu is still looking around at the decoration. Unexpectedly, Fan Zhendong suddenly ordered his name. At that time, he was a little stunned and gave a military salute subconsciously.

"Hello, I'm Zhou Yu"

Zhou Yucai finished, remembering that he was just an ordinary boss, not a soldier like himself and Fan Zhendong, and I didn't know if it would scare others. Just when Zhou Yu wanted to say sorry for his suddenness, he saw that the restaurant owner gave himself an extremely standard military salute.

"Hello, I'm Xiao Pang's friend Lai Jiaxin."

"He is my comrade in arms. After he retired from the army, he opened this restaurant with many years of wishes. "

Fan Zhendong tilted his head in Zhou Yu's ear and explained to him that the breath of talking was a little itchy in Zhou Yu's ear and neck socket.

Zhou Yu followed Fan Zhendong and Lai Jiaxin into a box. Before he left, he looked at Lai Jiaxin and winked at Fan Zhendong. Suddenly he understood.

This man told his friends his identity, and he was really fearless. In the end, he was not afraid of being laughed at if he was not mentioned by others.

"Brother Yu, can you eat spicy food?"

"neng"

Zhou Yu looked at Fan Zhendong, bowed his head and frowned carefully. He looked at the menu and wanted to make his own decision. He is afraid that the other party will not like it. He wants to ask for advice, but he is afraid that the other party will think that he has not done his homework. He thinks Fan Zhendong is cute.

If the blind date fails, maybe we can become good friends in the future, just like Fang Bo and himself.

"Yu elder brother, can I call you yu elder brother? Just leave the military region. "

Zhou took a sip of tea on the table and said to Zhen-dong Fan

"yes"

"You can call me Xiao Pang. They all call me that. "

Zhou Yu looked at Fan Zhendong slightly excited and felt that some words could not be said in his throat.

Zhou Yu pondered for a while and put the cup on the table.

"Let's talk."

Zhou Yu looked at Fan Zhendong because of his words for an instant, sitting in serious danger and a little embarrassed, and couldn't help laughing.

"You don't have to be nervous. I don't want to talk to you about any state secrets. "

"Brother Yu, you look good when you smile."

"Thank you"

Zhou Yuxin accepted Fan Zhendong's praise, looked at Fan Zhendong and said.

"You must have heard about me from brother Hao. I don't know what I like, and I have never hated anything. To put it mildly, I am celibate, but in fact everyone knows that I am just a boring person. "

It is obviously not the first time for Zhou Yu to dissect herself in the face of the so-called blind date. This time, he was a little more nervous for no reason.

He picked up the tea on the table and took another sip, as if to cover up what he had just said. He put down his glass and saw Fan Zhendong looking at him with red ears.

"Are you hot?"

Zhou Yu pointed to Fan Zhendong's ear for fear that he couldn't understand what he said.

Fan Zhendong smiled with a poof.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Brother Yu, your eyes are really beautiful."

"You just praised me for looking good when I smile."

"You look good when you laugh, look good when you don't laugh, look good when you wear a military uniform, and the whole person looks good."

"So?"

"Before I came, I felt that I was just dealing with the care of my elders, but when I first saw you, I thought I should be able to like you."

"In the past, there were blind dates who thought they could like me, but in the end they just left a sentence. Zhou Yu, you are really boring, so you turned and dragged others away."

Fan Zhendong picked the agnail in his hand and said to Zhou Yu.

"But this is my first time."

"what"

"The first blind date, the first time I feel that I can like someone."

Zhou Yu thinks this time is different. He couldn't tell the difference. While he was thinking, he listened to Fan Zhendong again.

"I think I will be tired of being thrown into the army by my grandfather, but I fell in love with you from Hao Ge, and then I came to see you. I think it must be rigid, but ... "

Fan Zhendong words half looked up at Zhou Yu.

"But what"

"But you are surprisingly beautiful, and I like it very much."

Zhou Yu looked at Fan Zhendong and smiled at him.

At this time, the knock on the door in the private room saved Zhou Yu.

Yu slant head a look at Lai Jiaxin and waiter came in with food.

"How can we not finish ordering so many?"

"Later a few comrades will come to see jade elder brother. They are my good friends. "

Seeing Zhou Yu's frown, Lai Jiaxin quickly ducked to save Jingshu.

"Not chubby. They come to practice. It is not easy for them to come to Chengdu once. I'm sure I'll treat them to dinner as a landlord. Brother Yu just came. Why not have dinner together? "

Zhou Yu suddenly remembered Fan Zhendong calling downstairs in the hostel.

"Don't mind"

As soon as Zhou Yu's words were finished, he jumped into three people outside the private room, one by one, and gave him a serious military salute.

"Zhu Zheng Peifeng

Fan Zhendong didn't know when to move from the opposite side of Zhou Yu to Zhou Yu's side to introduce Zhou Yu one by one.

The tone of voice floated into Zhou Yu's neck again. Zhou Yu stretched out his hand and pushed Fan Zhendong's head.

"Itching"

Without beer and snowflakes, five old people can't cook a table. Lai Jiaxin asked one person to take two pieces up.

If you drink too much wine, you will naturally talk and lose your identity.

"Jade elder brother, I told you, Xiao Pang was the first person to leave here. He agreed that whoever left the group first would be a dog, so he left us to be a husky. "

Fan Zhendong reached out and hit Cheng Jingqi on the head.

"I prefer Samoyed."

There is no such thing as wine. Zhou Yu was offered a glass of wine in turn, his ears were red, and he said to Fan Zhendong.

Fan Zhendong helplessly cried "Brother Rain".

He didn't expect Zhou Yu, who had drunk wine, to be so liberated. Where is the excessive calmness and self-restraint in Brother Hao's mouth? Obviously, it is a cat satisfied with dried fish.

"Jade elder brother, you must make decision for us in the future. Xiao Pang has gone too far. He didn't finish until every military exercise left us with only one breath. "

Zheng Peifeng blushed and choked up and accused Fan Zhendong of his crimes.

Zhou Yu stretched out his hand and pinched Fan Zhendong's face and said

"Are you really so fierce?"

Fan Zhendong let Zhou Yu practise fraud said to himself.

"Business is business."

Zhu's hand next to it was broken by Fan Zhendong before reaching Fan Zhendong.

Eating a meal is pleasant. Later, all the drinks for worshipping Zhou Yu were stopped by Fan Zhendong. With Zhu and others, it's really been a long time since we left the hotel. When Fan Zhendong vented his anger, he smelled of alcohol.

"You go first. I'll send Brother Yu back first. "

Zhou Yugang wants to say just a few steps. Don't take me home. When I go back, I will see Cheng Jingqi and them waving goodbye to themselves with an expression that we all know.

"Only a few steps. You don't have to drive me. "

"Brother Yu should be a competent boyfriend when he falls in love."

Fan Zhendong said, "Reach for Zhou Yu." He held Zhou Yu's hand in his palm and turned it into ten fingers.

Zhou Yu looked at Fan Zhendong holding his hand under the street lamp, and the shadow street lamp pulled the figure of two people.

"Have you ever hugged anyone like this?"

"Ah?"

Fan Zhendong looked at Zhou with his head tilted, and Yu stared at his beautiful eyes, still looking at Fan Zhendong.

"No, no, this is my first time."

Afraid of Zhou Yu misunderstanding Fan Zhendong hurriedly explained.

"It's my first time, too."

"So how do you feel?"

"no feeling"

Fan Zhendong took Zhou Yu to the military hostel.

"Yu elder brother, my heart is beating fast now. Do you know what that feels like? It's just banging like it's going to jump out. You'll like it when your heart beats faster. "

Fan Zhendong loosened Zhou Yu's hand and turned to Zhou Yu to smile.

"You have arrived at Brother Yu."

Zhou Yu, who was holding hands, felt that he had been covered with sweat, but he didn't wipe it on his army pants.

"Then I'll go in and you go home."

Brother Yu

"hmm"

"Love and parting are hugs."

Zhou Yu also stopped because of this sentence. Fan Zhendong held Zhou Yu in her arms with a step.

"You go in, Brother Yu, and go to bed early."

"good"

Zhou Yu turned and walked to the guest house.

Fan Zhendong looked at Zhou Yu being pulled out by the light of the hotel, with his hands behind his back, and shouted.

"Colonel Zhou Yu, let's get married when I get back to Beijing."

Zhou Yu stared at Fan Zhendong and held his hand without any other changes, but Zhou Yu somehow felt that the temperature of his palm was higher than anywhere else in his body.

He turned around and saw Fan Zhendong smiling at him.

"Military divorce is illegal. Have you thought about it? "

"I thought about it."

"I may not be able to give you the response you want, so are you getting married?"

"I'll try."

"Then I will wait for you in Beijing."

Fang Bo also wants to gossip about Zhou Yu. More often, the mobile phone next to Zhou Yu's computer rings.

Xiu Yu thought for a long time, and Fang Bo craned his neck to find out.

"Don't you know who it is when you answer it?"

Zhou Yushun picked up the phone at Fang Bo's suggestion.

"Hello, Colonel Zhou Yu, I'm Fan Zhendong."

Zhou Yu just remembered that he hasn't saved Fan Zhendong's phone number.

"You went back to Beijing."

Fan Zhendong looked at his signed application, a face of satisfaction.

"I just got back this morning."

Zhou Yu knocked Fang Bo's head off and wanted to eavesdrop.

"Well, what can I do for you by calling?"

Fan Zhendong folded the application form, put it in his coat pocket and walked out.

"We agreed that I would get married when I came back."

"Sorry, I didn't know you were coming back today."

Zhou Yu heard the sound of the car starting over there, and then he heard Fan Zhendong say

"It doesn't matter. I'm coming to pick you up now. I may take my troops out on a mission in three days. It's definitely too late to arrange a wedding in three days, so I think it's better to get the certificate first. "

"But I didn't apply."

"Brother Yu, I have done very well."

Zhou Yu said in Fang Bo's frequent lying trough

"All right, then."

"Then we will meet at the gate of the military region in half an hour."

When Zhou Yu walked out of the office, Fang Bo gave him a solemn hug.

"Xiaoyu actually likes it very simply. You don't have to ask yourself whether you like it or not, and you don't have to change it deliberately. This is a part of life. You should be happy. "

Zhou Yu took out his mobile phone and walked outside the military area command. He saved Fan Zhendong's number in his contact.

contacts

"Fan Zhendong"