Help find some chemistry-related jokes, the more the merrier

1. The latest discovery is that there is a new homologue of benzene called niphenyl. Properties: colorless crystal, with special odor, high density, highly toxic, corrosive, flammable and explosive. Adding small aldehyde can increase its toxicity and corrosiveness. If "Shinzo Abe" is added, a toxic substance called "dark ginseng - cyanide arsenic - 14-methyl war criminal - radon dioxin - niphenyl" will be generated.

2. Is magnesium sulfate soluble? What? Yes? Fool, I'm asking you whether sulfuric acid can beautify...

3. Teacher: Can gold be produced by metathesis reaction?

Student: Yes.

Teacher: Please write the chemical equation.

Students wrote: As Cu====Au Cs

4. The sodium metal in the laboratory caught fire yesterday. In order to put out the fire, the water in the laboratory was almost exhausted... …

5. Yesterday, I threw a bottle of hydrochloric acid, but it turned into salt and acid. It was great! There is no need to buy any seasonings in the kitchen for the time being.

6. Do you know what a UFO is? UFO? Corny! UFO is uranium hypofluorite! ! ! There are such old-fashioned people, and they still say that this is a UFO...

7. Do you know why soda ash is needed to steam steamed buns? Because soda ash is hydrolyzed into caustic soda, so that the steamed buns can be cooked...

8. Do you know how to make nitroglycerin easily? Let me tell you a secret recipe-if you eat the glycerin, it will be digested in the stomach and become nitroglycerin (digestive). I won’t tell the average person. ...

9. At the long-distance bus station, a man hurried over carrying a large bucket of stuff. He was squeezing through the crowd and was about to get on the bus. The conductor asked: "Hey, what is this?" The man gasped and pushed upwards and said, "Alcohol." "No, no, this is flammable and cannot be brought on board." The conductor said with a frown. The man shouted again: "This is ethanol." "Why didn't you tell me earlier? Come on!" the conductor complained with a smile. The bus finally started...

10. A chemist, a physicist and a geologist were walking along the beach. Suddenly the physicist said he wanted to measure the depth of the sea and jumped into the sea. The geologist said he wanted to see the topography of the seabed and jumped in. The chemist waited for a while but didn't see them appear, so he came to a conclusion. : Physicists and geologists are soluble in sea water.

11. In chemistry class, the teacher explained the meaning of saturated solution; "A certain solvent can only dissolve a certain solute. For example, you eat one bowl of rice, another bowl, and a third bowl. I’m full after eating, can you still eat it?” A student asked: “Is there any food?”

12. Two biochemists were sitting in front of the laboratory drinking coffee. A beautiful woman walked by outside. The more mature and cautious biochemist saw the demented look on his colleague's face and said: "She is just like us, more than 75% is water." The colleague still looked demented and said: "Yes, but look at it People’s surface tension!”

13. Teacher: “Can you explain the law of immortality of matter?” Student: “My family bought 100 kilograms of briquettes last month, and the ash left after burning them is still there. 100 pounds, this is the law of the immortality of matter."

14. In a chemistry class, a student who was sleeping soundly was woken up by the teacher and asked: "Do you know what I mean by lead tetraoxide? What's going on?"

The student slowly opened his sleepy eyes and replied confusedly: "Teacher, I only have one pair of eyes, how can I know what it means to shoot three shots from four eyes?"

15. In a chemistry class in high school, the teacher copied the words "Relationships between the Periodic Table of Elements and the Properties of Metal Elements" on the blackboard, but the teacher accidentally failed to write the word "quality" in "property". On the blackboard, everyone was stunned, especially a girl in the front row who lay on the table and laughed for half the class.

16. In order to verify who did a good thing, the school asked three students A, B, and C to find out: A said it was B, B said it was not me, and C said it was not me. Only one of them told the truth.

Who does the good deeds?

17. In a chemistry class in junior high school, the teacher wrote "The relationship between the properties of cations and anions" on the blackboard, but the teacher accidentally left out the "quality" of the property, and the result was " "The sexual relationship between cations and anions" was displayed on the blackboard. The whole class fainted, especially a girl in the front row who lay on the table and laughed for half the class.