Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Yang Fang, a proud Qing dynasty star, was beaten to pieces in the face of this war.

Yang Fang, a proud Qing dynasty star, was beaten to pieces in the face of this war.

One: the spiritual pillar of Daoguang

1in June, 840, the first opium war between China and Britain, which opened the door of ancient China and humiliated modern China, finally started!

As some historical materials have said, at the beginning of this war, the Qing Dynasty, known as China, was a variety of scattered and heavily guarded cities along the coast. Almost the British fought one after another, but all the civilian commanders worked hard and could not beat a few British soldiers. In modern times, "the empire did not fall", and the gap between Britain and Qing was like a devastating blow. Since the war, a group of honest officials have been working and the stars have been smashed!

However, there was a person who was very upset and angry at the end, but for a long time after the war started, no matter how badly the front line failed to deliver the news, there was no pressure, and people always maintained the belief of winning: Daoguang Suining!

Later, unlike the timid Daoguang Emperor in modern patriotic movies, Daoguang Emperor in the early years of the Opium War was filled with lofty sentiments after hearing the fighting started. For example, when he wrote back to the front and gave the officials an imperial edict, every word was extremely optimistic, and he couldn't wait to raise his hand and shout that Zhang Yingguo was completely annihilated!

But don't think that this Daoguang emperor is an emperor, and there is something wrong with his brain. His optimism is entirely due to one reliance: there is a number one god of war in the Qing Dynasty, waiting for him all the time. His position in the hearts of Daoguang people far exceeds that of Lin Zexu and others. In the nearly twenty years before Daoguang Dynasty, he fought in the north and wiped out all the enemies for the Qing Dynasty. He was recognized as an invincible figure. No matter how powerful the British ships and guns are, as long as this person comes out, it is easy to be swept away!

This magical figure, like a pillar in Daoguang's heart, is1Yang Fang, a famous naval navigator of the Qing Dynasty in the early 8th century!

Just look at this man's military career in the previous half century, and you will know where Daoguang's optimism and self-confidence came from. How many powerful opponents who once arrogantly provoked the Qing Dynasty and even vented their anger on Daoguang were finally knocked down by the domineering of Yang Fang heroes.

Two: the brightest general in the Qing Dynasty.

Since the founding of the Qing Dynasty, the control of military power has never been relaxed. The more important the military battle, the Manchu generals usually play a leading role. For example, Nian Gengyao, if he can take the lead for a period of time, he must be a man with great strength and opportunity. Yang Fang, a soldier of Tujia nationality, is also such a rebellious figure.

Even compared with Nian Gengyao, who was very popular in TV series, many people in Qing Dynasty commented that Yang Fang's life growth was not only more inspirational, but also the level of uniting soldiers to fight was never lower than that of Nian Gengyao.

Yang Fang, a native of Songtao, Guizhou, was born in the thirty-fifth year of Qianlong. As a child of a farmer, Yang Fang is ambitious and determined to make contributions. However, he practiced martial arts hard and his fate was unfortunate. My family is poor, so I took several science exams for no reason. Not only did their great prospects seem hopeless, but their livelihood became a problem and they were forced to join the army.

But what is commendable is that Yang Fang, a frustrated young man, is still in an excellent state of mind. After he joined the army, he behaved seriously, marched and fought, and never forgot to study. Finally, I answered that sentence: opportunities always favor those who are prepared. Yang Fang's performance was positive, and he was taken a fancy to by Yang Yuchun, a famous soldier in the Qing Dynasty, and since then, he has soared. At the age of twenty-five, he was promoted to the defensive level.

This experience, that is, his military career in the Qing Dynasty, caused a lot of controversy for a time. Some powerful generals laughed at Yang Fang as a lucky man and told Yang Yuchun to look at his right eye. However, during the Jiaqing period of Qing Dynasty, when the terrible Anbaili Uprising swept through South China, Yang Fang finally proved that Yang Yuchun was right!

As a poor general who loves reading, Yang Fang is also biased in his military career for many years. He formed a unique style. He is not only skilled in martial arts, but also knowledgeable. He memorizes the art of war and often studies and applies it at critical moments. During the Stalagmite River War in Jiaqing four years, Yang Fang staged a performance of God. At that time, he took nine Qin Bing to investigate the enemy's situation, and confronted Anbaili troops to cross the river on a large scale. The seven ships were full of enemy soldiers, and it was too late to run.

At this critical moment, I see that Yang Fang is in no hurry. He drew his bow and arrow on the spot and shot at thousands of enemy troops crossing the river. Just as his subordinates were calling him to die, a scene of fate happened. Every time Yang Fang shoots an arrow, an enemy ship turns over. After shooting seven arrows, seven ships and thousands of enemy troops all fell into the stalagmite river. After the news spread, the rest of the local White Lotus Sect was completely shocked and shouted that Yang Fang was a descendant of God. A group of people rushed noisily, and Yang Fang Fusang knelt in front of him.

In the Qing Dynasty, Yang Fang's desperate performance of life easily received thousands of people. Does he really have magic? Of course not. Yang Fang, sharp-eyed but narrow-minded, knew for the first time that there were many enemy troops but small ships. If you find the right one, the enemy ship will definitely capsize! In this way, bold but cautious and ruthless, famous!

If the battles in recent years have laid the foundation for Yang Fang's brilliant battlefield, then at the age of 56, that is, in the six years of Daoguang, Yang Fang formally established his position as a god in the military circles of the Qing Dynasty with a classic performance, and even wrote down the achievement of capturing Zhang Geer alive as a hero of the Chinese nation.

In the sixth year of Daoguang in Qing Dynasty, Zhang Geer, a rebel in Xinjiang, with the support of the big countries in Central Asia, launched a great rebellion aimed at splitting Xinjiang in China. After assembling hundreds of thousands of rebels, it swept through southern Xinjiang in just a few months and even slaughtered local people of all ethnic groups. Now the territory of southern Xinjiang, including Kashgar and other places, is in jeopardy for a time!

In addition, unlike the rebellion in Xinjiang in the past, this time the Qing Dynasty faced an unprecedented powerful opponent. Zhang Geer has not only more than 100,000 troops, but also well-equipped, with a large number of Russian muskets, and its firepower is far stronger than that of the Qing army. But with such hard work, Yang Fang has no pressure. As soon as the news of the rebellion came, he volunteered immediately. As a prefect, he followed the old superior Yang Yuchun to suppress!

Facts have proved that Yang Fang's participation in the war became an important winner in this major counterinsurgency campaign. First, led the most powerful light cavalry regiment of the Qing army, made a good start in the Battle of Keping, and wiped out the famous warriors and mercenaries in the vast countries of Central Asia. In the most crucial battle of Kashgar, facing the killer weapon of the rebels, the Russian musket line, Yang Fang learned it vividly and offered the tactics in Qi Jiguang's The Art of War. He used a tiger squat gun and a shotgun wheel to bomb, which surprised the rebels and was once defeated!

The Qing army was wiped out, and Zhang Geer, the leader of the rebel army, ran away with oil on his feet. Yang followed him and went deep into Tiegai Mountain to kill him. Finally, the rebels who killed tens of thousands of soldiers and civilians in Xinjiang were captured alive and sent to Beijing for dismemberment! So it is also very famous in China. Its mighty charm was painted as a portrait by Daoguang and sent to Ziguangge for pilgrimage!

At this time, he became a die-hard fan of Yang Fang, and even wrote a comment of 16 to Yang Fang himself: Thousand Boat Battalion, a soldier since childhood, made outstanding achievements and performed well. It can be said that evaluation is supreme!

If Yang Fang's life can stop at this moment, there is no doubt that he will shine as a legendary hero in ancient Chinese military history!

Three: Why is it a joke?

However, consistent with the legendary battlefield career, with the growth of age, Yang Fang's body became stronger and stronger. After the establishment of the Northwest Military exploits, instead of being complacent, he became more and more motivated. In the next ten years, like a fireman, he ran wherever there was danger, and

So when the Opium War intensified and even the British fleet approached Guangzhou, Daoguang finally made up his mind to use Yang Fang! As in similar situations before, although Yang Fang was seventy-one, he was generously ordered, so he did not give a military salute. He rushed to Guangzhou in black and white and became a high-profile counselor in Guangzhou.

For the prospect of Yang Fang's trip, Daoguang is naturally full of confidence. Even though Yang Fang was still on the road, he issued a series of imperial edicts: I know you can fight, but don't worry, you must bring the British army in this time and beat him on the ground.

I was very excited to hear that I was beaten by the British army at the front line in Guangzhou. 1841March 5, Yang Fang arrived in Guangzhou, and the soldiers and civilians in Guangzhou cheered, just like embracing the rhythm of victory!

As in previous wars, Yang Fang still kept a cool habit. When he arrived in Guangzhou, he declined all social activities and plunged into Lin Zexu's residence to have a private chat, trying to know himself and know himself.

However, knowing ourselves and knowing ourselves, Yang Fang fired the first shot, but then he suddenly realized that two forts outside Guangzhou were lost because of British artillery bombardment. It suddenly dawned on him that the Russian muskets used by Zhang Geer rebels in my memory were simply childish compared with modern British firepower. So that after the defeat, an announcement was issued to explain: Yi cannon will always hit me, but I can't hit Yi. I live on the ground, but I'm confused. The host and guests are aliens, so Ann can fuck coupons. If this happens, there must be a cult with good technology.

This means, why can't my gun hit the British, but the British can hit me? Because the British are black magic!

Next, battle-hardened Yang Fang did something that made him laugh his teeth off in the modern history of China: he ordered his men to walk around and collect toilets for women, preferably filled with shit and urine. The front line is lined up, and it is called breaking the magic!

Do you think he is really confused? Look at his next performance: the so-called magic is just a distraction. While the British army was not paying attention, Yang Fang assembled elite troops and launched an attack on the British army on the Phoenix Mountain. It was a sudden attack, and the British army retreated hastily. A feint is a perfect performance!

But this perfect performance was exchanged for angry British troops. The next crazy revenge, the next day, the British fought back. Yang Fang practiced fire attack tactics hard, completely blinding modern British firearms. The British laid six fortresses in a row, and the whole city of Guangzhou fell! The old general who fought all his life was beaten to pieces in the face of this brand-new modern war.

Yang Fang returned to Hunan after the Opium War and died of depression. And his unique skill of collecting dung barrels against the enemy has also become a famous joke in the Opium War by various documents. In fact, the reason is very simple. Even if you are better than Yang Fang, you can't keep pace with the times, and it will be a joke in the end!