tell jokes

1, one of my colleagues is allergic to mutton, and his face swells when he eats mutton, so everyone takes him with him every time he eats mutton kebabs. The more swollen his face is, the more authentic his mutton is.

2. Go out with an idiot friend to get money. When I arrived at the bank, I saw that there was no place to park, so I stopped at the roadside in front. I told my friend when I got off the bus to withdraw money. If a traffic policeman comes to check illegal parking, you can call me. I was waiting in line when my friend shouted in a panic: Big Brother, the police are coming, run. The business hall is in chaos.

3. I called the mobile customer service today, and the customer service answered the phone and said, "Hello, it's my pleasure to serve you." I said, "You are happy too early." Then I hung up.

My wife asked me, "What did you do at night?" I said, "Choose 14 from 144, arrange and combine, optimize the system and achieve the best goal." The wife said, "Speak human words." I replied, "Playing mahjong."

Don't mess around if you don't look good: some people spend a lot of money to burn exquisite princess rolls, and they don't look like princesses, but like Newton.

6. The family went to see a play. They bought tickets upstairs, but the little boy always squatted on the railing and looked down. He only heard a staff member come over and say, "Take care of the child and don't let him fall. Downstairs is the VIP table. Do you want to make up the ticket if you fall? "

7. Xiao Wang said in the office, "My girlfriend is just like a mobile phone." Colleagues asked, "So small and exquisite, so fashionable and so essential?" Xiao Wang: "No, I won't talk to you when I have no money!" " " .

8. Brother, I'll throw a brick first. If there is jade, come here.

9. The white rabbit set up a stall to sell vegetables, and the grocer said to it: Your vegetables look terrible, and there are wormholes. The white rabbit explained: it is right to have bug eyes, which shows that this dish is pollution-free! The centipede on the side was unhappy and rushed up to scold: When have I ever harmed your food?

10, natural selection is true! Since I lost my hair, my hair quality has really improved day by day! All the bad ones are dropped, and all the ones left on the head are malicious people.