Funny classical Chinese sentence breaks

1. damn classical Chinese translation: how to break sentences in damn classical Chinese translation:

A man went out for a drink and came back at night. He caught up with the heavy rain and covered himself with an umbrella. At this time, a man was standing under the eaves and saw him holding an umbrella and running to walk with him under the umbrella. After walking for a long time, the man didn't speak. The umbrella man suspected that the man was a ghost and kicked him. I'm even more scared if I miss it, thinking it's a ghost.

When he came to a bridge, the umbrella man pushed the man under the bridge and then moved forward quickly. At this time, I was just catching up with my family to make breakfast, so I rushed to his house and said I had met a ghost. Not long after, I saw a man covered in water stumbling and shouting "ghosts" and also defected to this house. When they met, they were both surprised and understood, so they both laughed.

"The deuce" original:

People who have/go drinking/go home at night deserve/rain heavily. Cover yourself/cover yourself. Meet a person/under the roof, that is, under the umbrella/with a colleague. Long time, silence, doubt/ghost. With enough/teasing, even/inequality, more/beneficial fear, because of the struggle/squeezing/and trend under the bridge. Value/cake maker/gets up in the morning, rushes into its door and warns of ghosts. After a while, I saw another person, all wet, stumbling, screaming/screaming, rushing to his home. Two people each other-startled, unknowingly laughed.

From Feng Menglong's Overview of Tan in Ancient and Modern Ming Dynasty.

Extended data

"The deuce" is mainly about a rainy night. They walked away under the same umbrella, not talking to each other and suspecting each other that they were ghosts. Walking on the bridge, one person pushed the other into the water, and both of them thought they had met a ghost. After dawn, the two smiled at each other.

In those days when people believed in ghosts and gods, it was normal for people to suspect ghosts. This story tells people not to doubt anything. There are no ghosts in the world. Believe in science, or you will make a joke.

This classical Chinese is short and pithy, simple in content, full of metaphors and humorous. * * * has three levels: one is that two people walk together on a rainy night; Second, mutual suspicion, a person trying to squeeze the "ghost" out of the water; Third, two people smile at each other after meeting. The purpose is to make people understand that there are no ghosts in the world, and making things out of nothing will only scare them.

An Overview of Ancient and Modern Times is a collection of jokes and humorous sketches, which is divided into 36 parts. Most of the contents are allusions from past dynasties, such as the famous "state officials set fire".

Feng Menglong, the author, has collected a lot of funny stories from the official history of past dynasties and unofficial history's notes, exposing social ugliness and all kinds of weird and morbid phenomena, which can not only entertain readers, but also confuse himself. This is a very enlightening reading.

A Talk about the Past and the Present is a collection of thousands of stories and legends, covering all kinds of situations in the world. These stories and legends have a common feature, that is, funny coke, which is often humorous and full of philosophy in humor, and most of the stories are based on facts.

Baidu encyclopedia-damn it

2. Who can write interesting punctuation marks is to break an ancient poem or sentence into interesting punctuation marks.

Ancient poems are randomly divided into different tastes. "Tomb-Sweeping Day" Du Mu "It rains in succession during the Qingming Festival, and pedestrians on the road want to die. Excuse me, where is the restaurant? The shepherd boy refers to Xinghua Village. "

This is the masterpiece of Du Mu, a poet in the Tang Dynasty. Have you thought about it? Just punctuation marks can make it change its style.

Look: "It rains a lot during the Qingming Festival, and pedestrians are on the road, trying to break their souls. Excuse me, where is the restaurant? There is a shepherd boy, which refers to Xinghua Village. "

-into a long sentence. Watch it again: [It rains in the Qingming Festival] Pedestrians (trying to break their souls): "Excuse me, where is the restaurant?" Shepherd boy (pointing): "Xinghua Village!" -adapted into a script.

2. Wang Zhihuan's "Liangzhou Ci" The Yellow River is far away from the white clouds and is an isolated city, Wan Ren Mountain. Why use the elegy of willow to complain about the delay of spring, old Yumenguan, a spring breeze is not blowing!

A calligrapher in the Qing Dynasty wrote this poem by Wang Zhihuan as a banner and gave it to Empress Dowager Cixi. Unexpectedly, the word "Jian" was missed, and Empress Dowager Cixi was furious. I think this is a fool of her ignorance of poetry.

The calligrapher was frightened by this "crime of deceiving the monarch" and used his quick wits. He said that his handwriting was based on Wang Zhihuan's poem: "The Yellow River is far up/Baiyun San/Wan Ren Mountain Lonely City/Qiangdi Why bother/Willow Spring Breeze/Yumenguan Lack". Empress Dowager Cixi saw that he was right, so she had to give up and give wine to suppress the earthquake. Once, he asked a teacher to explain that his diet was very poor.

At that time, the teacher agreed, but he said there was no evidence and asked for a certificate. The rich man readily promised.

The teacher wrote a contract: "It is enough not to eat chicken, duck, fish and a dish every day." The rich man looked at the contract and looked at it carefully: "Don't eat chicken, duck and fish every day, a dish of vegetables is enough." I signed the contract happily.

I don't know when I had my first meal, the teacher shouted, "Why are all vegetables and no fish?" Didn't we agree to have meat for every meal? "Say that finish, I read the contract to the rich man again. The rich man was speechless after hearing this.

I will cook fish for this teacher every meal in the future. Please think about what the teacher thinks of this contract.

(answer: daily diet: no chicken, duck is ok; Without fish, meat is ok; A plate of vegetables is enough. ) 2 Punctuation suicide note: Once upon a time, there was an old man who was too excited to have a stroke and lay in bed for five years.

Before his death, he left a suicide note to his 5-year-old child and son-in-law. The suicide note reads: "A 60-year-old son gives birth to a son. People say it's not my son, but also the family property and the countryside. There is no dispute with son-in-law and outsiders. "

A few years later, the youngest son came of age and separated from his brother-in-law. Who owns the real estate and the countryside? The two men argued endlessly and had to go to the yamen to file a lawsuit.

The son-in-law pleaded: "The father-in-law's suicide note clearly States that the 60-year-old son has a son, and people say,' It's not my son!'" "The family property is given to the son-in-law, and outsiders are not allowed to argue." The county magistrate carefully pondered the untitled suicide note and came up with another way to break the inheritance right with his youngest son.

How do county officials punctuate? (answer: I have a son at the age of 60. People are wrong, but that's my son! Give your all. A son-in-law is not allowed to argue with outsiders. )

There is a man who runs a hotel and makes vinegar and raises pigs with scraps, but this man is notoriously stingy. Once, he asked a scholar to write couplets for his workshop, asking him to wish the workshop a prosperous business, a prosperous family and a wide range of financial resources.

The scholar wrote a pair of couplets and a horizontal batch without punctuation, and read it to him: the wine jar is good, but the vinegar jar is sour; The pig's head is big, but only the mouse will die. Horizontal batch: more people, less illness, and wealth.

The man was very happy to hear that, but refused to pay according to the agreed price, and only gave half. The scholar didn't bargain with him and left with the money.

The next day, many people gathered in front of the hotel to laugh. The man went out to have a look and found that the couplet had been punctuated, but the meaning was completely reversed. He rolled his eyes in anger. Do you know how punctuation is added? (A: Vinegar is good in the wine-making jar, but the jar is sour.

Raising pigs is the first big mouse, only to die. Horizontal criticism: more people are sick and less wealth. )

On a rainy day, a person went to a friend's house and couldn't get away, so he had to stay at a friend's house temporarily. But this friend is a very stingy person and will not be received.

The friend was embarrassed to say it, so he had to write a note and put it on the table. The note reads: "Stay in rainy days and stay with me every day" without punctuation.

After reading it, passers-by felt that their friends were not interesting enough, so they raised their pens and clicked on the original text, turning it into a direct inquiry. Do you know how they break sentences? Passing friend: If it rains, stay for a day, will you accompany me? Stay. It's rainy, stay? Leave me alone! Miserable friend: Stay in rainy days, but I won't stay in the sky.

If you are lucky, you will always be sued. During the Chinese New Year, he told his family: "No one can go to court this year."

And posted a pair of couplets, which read, "Good years, less bad luck, no lawsuits." It's just not punctuated

As a result, the younger son saw this couplet when he came to visit relatives, which surprised the whole family. What he read is: "This year is very unlucky, and there are many lawsuits."

6. The cunning of the matchmaker In ancient times, marriage events were all the orders of parents and the words of the matchmaker. At that time, a matchmaker pleaded for the young master of a large family and wrote a line: it is unfair to have black hair and no pockmarked feet. He also said that the girl's appearance is guaranteed to be the same as that written on the note. When the big family saw it, they were in high spirits and allowed to get married. They read this line as: black hair, unfair feet. The extended family settled accounts with the matchmaker. The matchmaker refused to admit it, saying that her note clearly stated: dark skin, hairless, pockmarked, small feet, Zhou Zheng. Third, the modern story 1. Who panicked? An English professor wrote the following sentence on the blackboard: "A woman is nothing without her (her) man" and asked the students to punctuate correctly.

Male students are marked like this: "A woman, a man without her, is nothing." Female students are marked like this: "woman: without her, men are nothing."

2. Children's Diary A child wrote punctuation marks in the wrong place when writing a diary, which made his parents very upset.

3. You can't save money by translating China's ancient jokes —— Laughing Room by Feng Ming Menglong.

There was a man who was extremely stingy, and the stream of Lu Yu rose recently. He crossed the river with great meanness and waded desperately. In the middle reaches, the water washed down and drifted for half a mile. His son searched for a boat on the shore to save him. The boat wants money, and the money goes there. The son only pays five cents, and the price is uncertain for a long time. On his deathbed, the father turned to look after his son and shouted, "My son, my son, five cents to save you, but no money to save you!" "

translate

He is very stingy. Once, when he was on the way, he met a new river rising. Although he could cross the river by boat, he was afraid to pay for the boat, so he waded across the river regardless. Just to the middle of the river, it was washed down by the water and drifted for more than half a mile. His son is on the shore, looking for a boat to save him. The boatman set the sailing price and said that he could only go if he gave a sum of money. His son bargained for him and said that he would only give five points. This bargaining has dragged on for a long time, and there has been no conclusion. At this time, his father was dying. When he was dying, he turned around and shouted to his son:

"My son, my son, you can save it in five minutes and not a penny!"