Zhihu What happened to those who fell in love for a long time but broke up? They didn’t know each other that well.

Those who talked for a long time but broke up, some got back together later, and some never heard from each other. When we talk about long-term relationships, one word always comes up: running-in.

It seems that time will solve all problems. After two people have been together for so long, there is no longer any problem that they cannot accept.

This is not the case. Some problems can be solved, but some problems will only start to snowball and get bigger because of time.

Because of some issues, if the other party stops arguing with you, it does not mean that the other party accepts it, but that the other party has given up on you on this issue. And this part of giving up is very likely to be the reason for your breakup in the future. Just like some boys have no ambition and just muddle along every day. Girls may quarrel with him at first, or find ways to urge him to learn and improve themselves after a while. But if boys never change, then girls won’t bother to say anything. But at this time, she already knew: This person just doesn't make progress. If the two of them want to live a better life in the future, he can't hope for it.

For another example, when a girl first gets emotional, her boyfriend keeps quarreling with her, but when she becomes more willful, the boyfriend stops talking. This is not a good thing, because the boyfriend It was then that I realized: there was no way to reason with this person.

This kind of stubbornness is like planting a time bomb, just waiting for a fuse to detonate it.

It’s only when you lose something that you realize how hard-earned it is

Long-term relationships are the easiest to paralyze, because both people will feel: The way it is now is good, we just need to keep it this way.

But they don’t realize that maintaining the original relationship itself is also something that requires a lot of effort on your part.

For example, when roles change, some people just can’t adapt to the changes in their roles as they grow up, and they still maintain their feelings in the same way as in the past. But in fact, different roles require different priorities. Same.

Some men may be a good colleague, a good friend, or even a good boyfriend, but they are not a good husband or a good father.

After entering a marriage, everyone's role will change, and they will have to undertake tasks at different stages. Sometimes he may be very responsible and kind to you in love, but as a husband, Or being a father is not enough.

Just like Zhiming in the "Chun Jiao Zhiming" series, from a normal point of view, he is still a qualified or even good boyfriend.

But when an earthquake hits you, you are so scared that you avoid your partner and spend a lot of money to buy impractical items without saving money to buy a house. Such behavior is not like that of a person who can support a family. people.

A husband’s sense of responsibility is not only to take care of his wife, but also to support the family and even deal with the relationship with his parents and children.

If a man has reached the age of talking about marriage but has no plans for the future, has zero savings, and lives a life of drinking now and getting drunk the next, then I advise you to think carefully about whether it is suitable for you to be with him. Therefore, it is always until growth separates two people that they realize: It turns out that long-term relationships are not that easy. It is not something that two people can easily maintain if they say they can maintain it. It turns out that if two people want to go on forever, they need to make sacrifices. So much effort.

Later they realized that if they want to maintain a long-term relationship, they must plan ahead. There are many long-term relationships that break up for no other reason but for some very helpless objective reasons.

For example, the most common ones are different places, or different future development paths of two people.

A couple who could have stayed together suddenly found that you wanted to go abroad and I wanted to go home. You wanted to start a business but I wanted to join the system. Such differences came too suddenly. If you had not If you plan, it’s easy to be caught off guard by interruptions.

In fact, if you are entering into a long-term relationship, there are many things that you need to prepare for, such as the problems you may face in different places, and the problems you may encounter whether your parents support or oppose the relationship.... ..

This kind of problem will last for a long time. You may forget it after getting along with each other, but once it occurs, you are guaranteed to have a headache.

Originally, a long-term relationship involves many aspects and problems. If you cannot meet the arrival of these problems in advance, then when these problems suddenly appear, you will be left with only regret and unwillingness. A long-term relationship is a relationship that is both thick and fragile. You may have experienced a lot, but you may also break up because of one thing or a problem that has not been solved for a long time.

No one wants to see this day happen, so please think more about everything in your long-term relationship, and don’t wait until the problem becomes irreversible before correcting it. Don't wait until the critical difficulty arrives before you think of a solution.