Ten paragraphs of incisive reasoning and analysis

In this world, many people are obsessed with opportunities, and many people are misinterpreting opportunities. What is an opportunity? Opportunity is really a slim, seemingly non-existent, seemingly easy and difficult thing. It will never play a decisive role in life, but at most it is just an ornament.

As far as the pros and cons of tossing a dollar coin are concerned, are there more heads or tails?

I believe that neither you nor I can answer why, because the probability is similar; Maybe sometimes there are many heads, sometimes there are many tails. But no matter what the situation is, if you try for a long time, the chances are almost equal.

The same is true of a person's career prospects. No one has ever been unlucky all his life. If you always excuse yourself for not making progress, because the opportunity has not come; If you only know how to wait for opportunities instead of creating them; If you only dream about what will happen after the opportunity comes, your opportunity is destined to be like a ship waiting to hit the rocks, always eager and desperate.

Because opportunities don't wait, and when they do, their stupidity is well known. Smart you, what are you waiting for? Why not catch up and go forward?

People are determined, as long as they persevere, they can achieve a better future tomorrow, and opportunities will not come; On the contrary, if you always cling to opportunities, not only will opportunities not come, but you will have nightmares again and again.

A contented mind is perpetual feast.

Everyone's objective conditions are different from their own things, so the definition of happiness can only be limited to personal subjectivity, that is, only the relationship between psychological feelings.

Generally speaking, worldly happiness, that is, a person's desire for life, is based on health and longevity, followed by the prosperity and development of future generations, and then by his own wealth. First of all, it belongs to yourself. Rich or poor, people always want to live a few more years. The world says that "life is worse than death", that is, to be healthy, stay young forever and prolong life. Secondly, one's own happiness after death, that is, happiness as the ultimate goal of life.

Because it is the primitive instinct of human beings to carry on the family line, regardless of life-long honor and disgrace, they always like to have excellent descendants, crops are the good of others, children are their own good, and having an ideal successor after death is also the happiness of human beings. Finally, wealth, in today's materialistic world, no one does not regard wealth as the highest happiness. There used to be an old saying that "people die for wealth, birds die for food", and they are willing to sacrifice their lives for wealth, which shows how tempting wealth itself is. But this is not the case. How many people are extremely troubled and distressed by extra wealth.

In fact, the happiness brought by any desire will be empty without self-confidence, and only satisfaction is the highest pleasure. As the world says, "the contented are always happy." That is true happiness, very substantial and reliable, because there is only a thin layer between luck and misfortune, and you are that thin layer. You think happiness is happiness, and you think misfortune is misfortune.

Not fate.

Since ancient times, many bitter couples have always attributed all their misfortunes to fate, believing that this is inevitable and should be done.

In fact, on the basis of a sound marriage, all the manifestations of a happy life seem to be entirely due to the fact that both sexes are working hard for happiness. Everything is man-made and has nothing to do with fate.

You can give your child a toy or some cookies to make him feel unexpected happiness; You can also take away your child's toys or food and make him feel unexpectedly disappointed and sad. Since the fate of a child's happiness or trouble can be controlled by you, the fate of a man's happiness or trouble can certainly be controlled by you.

Because of this, we think that marriage is an art, but we don't admit that it is everyone's destiny.

Maybe you are lucky, you like music very much, and he happens to play the violin; You like reading novels, and he happens to be good at telling stories; You love sweets, and he happens to be a sugar lover; You love to wear green clothes, but he just hates red; You don't think anyone with a round face can arouse your beauty, but his face happens to be long.

In short, from what point of view, he is indeed your favorite young man, but it is not your blessing.

As the tree, so the fruit. You must create your own destiny. For you and his future happiness, it seems that there is no need to worry too much. You can decide his fate. Everything has a positive side and a negative side. Either way, there are advantages and disadvantages.

There will never be people with exactly the same appearance and thoughts in the world, no matter how you choose, even if you choose for ten years; I can't choose a man like you In addition, there are many significant differences between men and women. A good couple, they never bow to fate, but try their best to conform to each other's personality.

Turn an enemy into a friend.

How to treat people who don't like themselves is a common problem of ordinary people. To this end, social experts put forward the following three points for the reference of friends who are troubled by this:

First, let yourself get inner peace, so that no matter what the other party does, it will not irritate you again. What each of us needs to cultivate is this kind of quiet calmness. When your peace of mind is calm, you are in a state of mind that others can't hurt you, and all problems can be solved calmly.

Second, you should make an honest self-analysis and ask yourself, "What in my heart makes me so unfriendly to others?" You carefully review your personality, and be loyal to your own review, and then try to cultivate the personality that makes you happy and get rid of those words and deeds that make people unhappy.

Third, try to treat others with a kind heart. If you really love others, others will only give you love. Don't treat others with fame, business success or any material purpose. You love them only because you find a lovely place in them. If you really love people, they will really love you.

In short, learn to gain inner peace, try to learn to know yourself and love others, and you can deal with people who don't like you and turn your enemies into friends.

Develop potential personality

Each of them seems to have a magical effect on the words "different", "unique", "new invention" and "saving money", which attracts people's inner desire to be noticed and stand out from the crowd.

In fact, there is nothing wrong with this nature, and according to psychologists, this fundamental desire can help people develop their unused talents and potential abilities, and even the most introverted and inactive people can be encouraged by it.

But ordinary people often spend a lot of time, money and energy to establish this fantasy, and even "waste" their lives for it, and finally get nothing. If we can devote ourselves to building our extraordinary personality from the heart, we will certainly be able to eliminate the unhappiness, dissatisfaction and frustration that currently plague us.

Although people will never change fundamentally, we can acquire a new personality by developing this potential personality and strengthening the inherent virtue.

This kind of training may take a long time, even a lifetime, but the benefits are very great, even if a lifetime of hard work is worth it.

Know how to enjoy life

Some people think they are old when their hair turns white. Although some people are seventy or eighty years old, they are still full of energy and childlike innocence, just like young people.

Why are people's life spans long and short? Why are some people old before they are old, and some people are still healthy when they are old? What is the real cause of aging? To what extent can it be called old? How to prevent premature aging?

These basic problems are mysteries that human beings urgently need to solve. Although, over the years, with the help of modern medicine, the overcoming of diseases and the promotion of health care, the life span of human beings is increasing day by day, and the human body is becoming stronger day by day, it seems that the key to longevity is to know how to live, and only those who know how to live can enjoy life and live longer.

We have all met many old ladies and gentlemen. If they were healthy, they would have died (in bed) long ago. However, all of them are unexpected, and they live tenaciously year after year. Why is this? This is because they have rich will and know how to live.

People who have a strong desire for survival must live a long life; On the other hand, people who are unhappy, sad and narrow-minded all day will die young.

A gregarious person who loves others and everyone loves him will definitely prolong his illness; People who believe in their future, cherish their future and have the courage to face the future will live longer.

We all know that emotions can affect physiology; And vitality is the source of life. Health is the basic factor to sustain life. However, vitality affects vitality. People who can understand that emotions affect physiology will understand that vitality affects life, and at the same time they will suddenly realize "life".

Flattery is not flattery

Everyone knows that flattery is a good thing, but not many people can say it right. Many of us don't know how to flatter others, so the result is often just the opposite.

The flattery of ordinary people is either too outrageous or vague, which makes no sense at all, so that the other party is not only unhappy, but also thinks you are talking about "cross talk"

Flattery is not only a compulsory course in modern society, but also a tonic for housewives. Depending on your boss, a decent compliment may get you to the top; In the family, when the wife brings out rice, if you say, "This dish is really fried, with good color, smell and taste. Where did you learn it? " It must be more powerful and specific than just praising "good food, good food".

Of course, it's better for you to shout "good food" like this, but it doesn't mean you appreciate it. It may not make much difference to you, but it makes a big difference to your ears.

Similarly, you should flatter your boss for something to be proud of. You must be based on absolute certainty, and then polish it properly to ensure that everyone is happy and in their places.

Have one's own room

In today's overstaffed society, finding a job is really not an easy task. It may be easier if you are a specialized technician. If you are an ordinary person without professional knowledge, it will be very difficult.

Who doesn't want to find a good job, but not everyone can taste their long-cherished wish. Therefore, how to stand out among many "candidates" seems to be the biggest factor.

No matter how difficult it is to find a job, the first impression of the first meeting will be the first factor to determine whether you can get the job. Therefore, when you meet, you must first have a good appearance. This does not mean that you should dress up deliberately, but that you should dress appropriately for that position. If you are applying for a work partner, then a neat jacket or Hong Kong shirt will be your best dress. Don't wear a suit and tie, which makes people feel "not that kind of material at all" On the other hand, if you are the applicant, it seems inevitable to wear a suit and tie.

Secondly, the speech should be organized, upside down, including gangsters, and never leave a good impression.

Not to mention "I can do anything, I am willing to do anything", because people who can do anything are often people who can't do anything well.

What you have to do is to tell each other as much as possible about your similar academic experience according to the nature of the work they need; What are you good at and what kind of work can you do, so that the other person can think that you are not only beautiful but also useful.

In addition, don't be disappointed if you fail in your job search. A gentleman should have a heart that does not suffer from loss. Maybe the other person didn't find your talent, maybe your specialty is not suitable for that job, and there is no room for people here. You should make persistent efforts and have better opportunities waiting for you.

Give rather than receive.

If you believe that all life has a purpose and that difficulties, pains, sufferings and setbacks are inevitable, you will not let all kinds of troubles in your life become your strength, but you can face problems with a calm mind and gradually find a solution, or think that these problems are inevitable. In the face of problems, you feel the need to pursue satisfaction, not only personal satisfaction, but also make full use of the difficult environment, make full use of the strength given by life, go on willingly and coexist with it, which is the inevitable result. Always ask everything to be 100% ideal, which will be a good start for you to lose what you have now, and it also means that you are throwing yourself into the quagmire of misery and self-pity.

It would be foolish if we set goals that are completely beyond our ability. It will not only waste your time, but also make you feel powerless. On the contrary, you may be surprised to find that you have more abilities than you expected, and gradually you will find other things you didn't know before.

If a person wants to get spiritual satisfaction, it mainly lies in serving others, forgetting his own interests and thinking about others' interests.

If you can be honest, loyal, generous and selfless, you will be able to achieve mental health and a satisfactory life, because the secret of happiness is to forget yourself.

You can cry!

Many people feel that crying is a shameful thing, especially men. Even in the most sad times, they would rather grind their teeth, clench their fists, vomit and faint, risk their lives and try their best to avoid tears.

In fact, one of the reasons why people are different from animals is that they cry. If you feel uncomfortable, don't be ashamed of crying. Please make good use of your natural resources and cry!

According to the doctor's research, crying is not only good for health, but also can eliminate all diseases. When your mind is traumatized, a hearty cry will completely clarify your spirit and fully vent your feelings. If you restrain yourself at this time, it can only show that you are unnatural and not strong, and it also shows that your feelings have fallen into disappointment.

When you should open the natural safety piston-cry-instead of opening it, your blood pressure will rise, your digestion will be abnormal, and diseases such as mental weakness will follow. This is that you go against nature and blame yourself for crying, which, like words, theories and all other human senses, is the product of human growth. Newborn children cry without tears, and idiots never cry. This is because their lacrimal glands are not fully developed, and only fully developed "advanced people" can have this instinct.

So, when you want to cry, no matter what the reason, have a good cry and let the melancholy, anger and tension accumulated in your heart vent!

Today, although men dare not openly call crying a woman's specialty, crying is still a good way for ordinary women to vent their feelings. Listen to their argument: "What a bad day. Everything is boring. After crying, it will be a little better. " Indeed, crying calms their nerves.

In boring daily life, trivial difficulties and annoying little problems are inevitable, which is the reason for our pain, and this kind of crying is a good way to relieve their heavy nerves. Men are sorry for tears, so they will suddenly "suddenly die of stroke", which really comes down to the merits and demerits of tears.

Some doctors also said that the alkali contained in tears has strong bactericidal power and can kill cold bacteria invisible to the naked eye in nostrils and nasal membranes. It is a panacea for colds. They even think that the best cure for colds is to watch tragic movies. In fact, most people agree that they cry more easily in the cinema than on any other occasion. This is because ordinary people are more relaxed when they are in the dark, so they don't have to worry about being discovered in public. If it is in broad daylight, people will reluctantly restrain themselves because of shame.

There is a strange but true fact that most people are easily moved to tears whenever they think of their childhood, whether they are happy or not.

Childhood songs are also a powerful cause of tears. Many people will feel a lump in their throat when they hear the music they were familiar with when they were children.

This kind of tears is often a familiar tune of the times, and you will feel your throat choking.

These tears are often caused by the subconscious mind. If you find yourself crying and don't know why, you can look for associations that lead to your sadness, and these associations are often the reasons for this uncontrollable sadness.

Even men who are not easy to feel will take out a handkerchief to wipe their tears before a movie. Women are more likely to cry for the stories of other suffering women. Whether it's a book, a movie, a drama or a radio novel, it can break their hearts. Psychologists call this situation "self-pity". Whether they feel it or not, they have actually thought of the heroine's experience.

Having said that, maybe some strong women will say: They have never shed tears. This is really problematic. For some superficial or temporary troubles, you may be able to control your emotions, or when others can see you, you will never use tears as a way to vent your emotions. However, when you are alone, or when you encounter a real human tragedy, you may not be able to hold back the surging tears.

Maybe you should stick to it. "I really have no reason to cry!" Put aside your reasons and look at the psychologist's argument first!

According to the research of psychologists, there is something that can make you cry every 2 1 day. Psychologists have conducted experiments on hundreds of male and female college students, and obtained 307 reasons for crying, among which fatigue is the most common reason. Three quarters of lesbians say that under any circumstances, if you want to cry, you can't help crying anyway.

We also know from experiments that if you don't cry when you should or want to cry, your body will be affected. The reason is that if you cherish a tear when you are extremely impulsive, other organs in your body will shed tears for it, which will destroy the balance of delicate lacrimal glands. Suppressed sadness, anger or other stimuli will inevitably cause strong chemical changes, damage your nerves, and make your inner body suffer from vitreous damage. Therefore, when your emotions are exposed, the best way is to watch a sad movie alone. If you watch it alone, you may feel a little lonely, and darkness can relax your self-control, let you cry to your heart's content and fully obtain the effect of venting.

You can cry, which means the worst is over. There are no tears in the initial stage of sadness, which will only flow out after the vitality is restored. Tears make your situation easier.

When you walk out of the cinema, your face may not look good, your eyes may be a little red, but your heart is much more comfortable.

Families need unsung heroes.

A successful marriage is to endure it when you can't stand it, and you can get it.

The only happily married man is Adam who lives in heaven because he has no mother-in-law.

Genius and honor are powerful factors for a bad family and a happy family. A truly sweet family needs ordinary unsung heroes.

When a wife says that she has a lot to say, she probably only has one thing to say, and that is money.

A woman can encourage her husband to succeed or destroy him, but most women do both at the same time.

A man is like a baby. Although you can't forget to kiss him from time to time, you can't forget to command him.

A man who is famous for his husband's success, when someone asked him the secret of his marriage success, he said, "Go to bed early and get up early, work like an ox, and don't quarrel like a mute, so that your marriage can be happy."

"Fortunately, this is a free world where wives can command their husbands at will, otherwise, many wives will become insane," said one wife.

Charm is not beauty.

People often say that a woman's greatest property is charm, but what is charm? Some women may think that they are unattractive and unpopular, because they don't have beautiful faces or enough money to buy clothes.

If you have this concern, you are all wet. Beauty and money are not the most necessary conditions for charm.

Experts point out that charm is a virtue from the heart, and those women who are generous, unassuming, unadorned and affectionate are the most attractive women.

They don't agree with the statement that women must be beautiful to turn all beings upside down. They believe that charm should be a knowing smile and good character. Be affable at first sight. When the other person speaks, she always listens attentively and understands. Her own speech is beautiful, and her manners are lively and energetic.

What they think is the least pleasing is that women who think they are smarter than men are ambitious, articulate, clumsy, slovenly and pretentious in public.

Is it leisure?

Everyone knows that a Buddha needs gold clothes and a man needs clothes, but there are too few women who really know how to dress. Although when they were young, they could dress casually, without fear and without making her ugly. However, after middle age, my psychology began to change. I don't have the courage to dress and fool around like I did when I was young. Always want to pretend to be younger than the actual age, focusing on gorgeous.

As everyone knows, the result is self-defeating. Gorgeous clothes not only failed to hide her old face, but set it off particularly clearly.

Generally, men always think that what women think and say can't be separated from clothes. This concept is really the crux of men's inability to really understand women. It turns out that women's upbringing is far more than that in books.

A woman's self-cultivation, temperament and knowledge can be shown in her clothes, so if a woman after middle age can know how to make her simple beauty vivid, she will be much smarter than wearing colorful clothes to hide her old age.

Buying clothes at random makes her husband often look frown, which is the wife's biggest failure.

Clothes are not only for wearing, but also should be regarded as an element of life. The means of choosing clothes can show a woman's eyes on things and people.

People can't live without clothes, which can be said to be the foundation of cultural life. Therefore, a woman can know how to wear appropriate clothes, which shows that she is a truly literate person.

generous

Couples * * * strive for the same goal-family happiness, the more they love, the closer they get. Although lovers have their own unique interests, they all carefully grasp their own rhythm so as not to let their interests occupy the same time.

If a husband is truly selfless, he will not let his wife work so hard that he has no leisure time to live with him. He also wants to introduce his friends to his wife and make them friends.

Although he is very busy at work, he still tries his best to find time for activities with his wife.

A selfless wife will try to care about her husband's happiness. She should praise his achievements more and criticize his shortcomings less. She always keeps a cheerful spirit, so that she will feel happy when her husband is with her.

Selfless attitude will make both husband and wife make up their minds and strive to promote each other's happiness. An unselfish wife will try her best to accommodate her husband's taste and often cook some food that her husband likes. She knew his temperament, but she skillfully used a woman's alertness to help him correct his mistakes.

A selfless husband must also be willing to promote his wife's happiness. He is not picky. When his wife does many small acts of love to him, he always thanks her. In short, if couples decide to promote each other's happiness, they will find themselves happy.

Home and office

Whether married women should go out to work has always been a question often discussed by all parties. Some people even attribute the prevalence of Taibao Taimei to the fact that the mother has a job. But no matter what the truth is, a working wife is beneficial to her husband and herself, and more beneficial to her children.

Psychologists and psychiatrists have repeatedly said that if a mother goes out to work every day, she will be able to meet her children's emotional needs properly.

Besides, my wife is the only person my husband can trust. My husband needs her not only at home, but also at work. If he has a wife who goes out to work, he can relax and restore all his original sense of humor, boldness and creativity. At least, after being ridiculed, you can still dare to "hum" the boss, and you don't have to live a humiliating life for fear of losing your job.

In addition, it is also of great help to the family economy, not that the husband is unable to earn more money, but needs it to calm his nerves; Because his wife has money around him, he feels more secure psychologically. He doesn't have to worry about not buying vegetables or paying tuition and fees to his children.

Adult women are the backbone of society, and they are considerate, which is the period when their talents and essence are fully brought into play. They don't like to lose their temper like young ladies. They have work experience and are more sensitive and meticulous in observing things. Therefore, they should serve the society.

If she goes out to work, not only will she not affect her normal family life, but she will become a more enthusiastic, considerate, sensible and wholeheartedly wife, making her husband happier and her mother-in-law more harmonious.

Looking at love from love letters

There are many men and women in love who always feel uneasy about whether the other person loves someone else.

Of course, even if the other person has another love, it won't let you know, but from the so-called "love letter" written by the other person, you can infer whether his feelings are true or not.

Generally speaking, if his letters are always intermittent, or he never tells you his main life and work in his letters, or often gives you some small troubles, nine times out of ten, such a person must have ulterior motives.

In the letter, people who can't say for sure one thing, or agree on a meeting time, mostly have another love. At least, their feelings for you are just "standby". For example, "If I don't go home next Saturday, I will definitely come to see you", and for example, "If I don't come at X, I can't come because of something, please don't wait for me". These are all his traps. Obviously, he brought you to fill in the blanks. He couldn't come because he was dating another lover.

People who are not sincere to you, no matter how good they are, will still show their tails. As long as you pay close attention, it is not difficult to catch them.

For example, people who have written "I dreamed of you again" in several consecutive letters are mostly duplicitous. Couples often dream that each other is real, but every time they dream, not many people dream every day.

Of course, we shouldn't wear colored glasses and think that everything in love letters is false, but girls who taste love for the first time can't be fooled by sweet words and think that everything is true.

Come tomorrow, tomorrow.

Probably, we all have a habit, that is, we often leave what we should do now to the future. In his new book A Good Way to Get Things Done, Mr. Rylte mentioned a way to help us get rid of this bad habit.

Mr. Lai said: "Unhappy jobs that have been shelved may be shelved forever. This is because people tend to forget unpleasant things. But putting unpleasant tasks aside has a more serious side, which will paralyze people's will. This kind of unhappiness will bother people, often, so that other things can't be done well.

Therefore, leaving unhappy jobs for tomorrow will hinder other jobs.

This will also make us worry about these unfinished unpleasant tasks again and again, and we can't do it once and for all. Worrying about a job is more exhausting than really finishing it.

A good way to solve this problem is to put things you don't like to do at the top of your daily list.

You will be happy to find that this will make the rest of your work much easier. Don't put unpleasant jobs in the drawer marked "Do it later", put them at the front. Don't stop until it is finished.