Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - New things, new works
New things, new works
Tonight, our family is going to take a walk in the park after supper. As we approached the gate of the community, we found a group of people not far away. Curiosity drove me to ask my parents to take me to have a look.
Looking closer, it turned out that an aunt put garbage in front of a garbage sorting intelligent machine called "Slim Bar", which attracted many residents to watch. I carefully observed the "hand bar": it was dressed in blue and white, and there was an electronic screen in the middle, which wrote the types of recycling: plastic recycling, paper recycling, textile recycling, beverage bottle recycling and glass recycling. Seeing me so devoted, my aunt couldn't help sharing with me: "We just need to scan it with WeChat, register it with our mobile phone number, and then we can put the garbage in different categories. This "handle" is very smart and will automatically calculate the amount according to the quantity or weight of garbage and settle it in the mobile phone account. " I can't help but want to have a try after listening to it.
So, I took my parents home, found two empty mineral water bottles, three cartons and some finished exercise books, and couldn't wait to come to the "hand". Under the guidance of my father, I ordered the paper recycling on the middle screen and entered my father's mobile phone number according to the method my aunt said just now. Suddenly, the door of the box slowly opened. Wow! What a big basket! I quickly squashed three cartons, folded them neatly and threw them in with my exercise books. Then I press the door to close the carton, and the system automatically settles: paper 0. 7 kg (0. 6 coins/kg) 0. Forty-two coins I went back to the home page and ordered another drink bottle. At this moment, a round window opened and I immediately stuffed a bottle into it. The belt was automatically "eaten", and the number on the screen was 1. I continued to fill the bottle, and the belt automatically started to "eat" again, and the digital intelligence on the screen was changed to two. After I place an order for delivery, the screen will be 03 RMB/piece) 0. 06 coins. After all the votes have been cast, I click Exit. At this time, my father received a new order reminder on his mobile phone, with content, time and remarks on it. Click in to see the delivery clearly. Dad studied it briefly and found that you can withdraw cash when it is full of 10 yuan. In order to withdraw cash early, my mother and I agreed that we must stay at home for the weekend and "feed" all the clothes we don't want to wear and things we don't need to eat.
Just as we were about to leave, I found several aunts coming not far away, all holding all kinds of "garbage" in their hands. The aunts who walked behind consciously accelerated their pace, which was quite a bit "competitive".
"This kind of littering is now the same as' competing for pets'!" Dad said with a smile. "Isn't that great?" Mom asked. "Yes and yes! With this new' pet', garbage is turned into treasure, and garbage sorting is natural! " I clapped my hands and my parents smiled happily.
A new thing consists of 2- click, click-click. A song woke me up from my dream and I thought, "What's the matter? Is anyone dancing? Is mom dancing? No, mom doesn't like it! It's grandparents. Impossible, my grandparents are over eighty years old, so I quietly walked into their bedrooms.
At first glance, it startled me. It's really grandparents dancing, but mom and dad obviously don't like dancing. Still watching my grandparents dance, my grandmother saw me and said, "Ask, come, my grandparents will give you ballroom dancing!" " ""Grandma, you are over eighty years old. Can you still dance? " I took grandma's hand and asked in surprise.
Grandma said, "You can't dance when you are over eighty?" It means that your grandfather and I are in good health. We both want to live long. If we want to live a long life, we should exercise more. I learned this trick from your grandfather. "Say that finish and jumped up with the rhythm of the radio. Grandpa stretched his right leg backwards for a while and his left foot turned sharply for a while. Grandma is always busy keeping up and retreating, revealing relaxed happiness in an unnatural way.
New things in life
The philosopher Spencer said, "Research is the key to the treasure house of knowledge." I said, "observation is the clue to discover new things." Let's go Let's go and see my new things!
As soon as it was as white as a fish belly, my father took us camping on a whim. Along the way, we saw many small animals, especially lovely squirrels, with round faces and furry tails, shuttling through the Woods and disappearing without a trace in the blink of an eye. At night, the fireflies all over the mountains and plains stick their heads out, and the fireflies all over the sky twinkle like stars! Flash! Glowing fireflies are like saying good night to us. The next day, after sunset, I still remember that lovely squirrel with as many fireflies as the stars.
I remember once my sister and I were playing in the yard and accidentally found many fruits of impatiens. We held it carefully in our hands and squeezed it gently, and all the fruits bounced out like grasshoppers. It turns out that Impatiens spread like this, which really opened my eyes.
There are many new things in life. As long as you are willing to observe with your heart, you will surely return home with a full load.
Tell you something new.
In life, when everyone sees a thief, they will shout to hit him, that is, the so-called street mouse-everyone shouts to hit him.
But something happened to me: it was a bright morning. I went to my grandmother's house by bus. On the bus, I found a thief sneaking from the pocket of an old man with white hair. In fact, everyone in the car has seen something stolen, but no one said that everyone seems to be fine.
Stand still as if nothing had happened.
The thief took 5000 yuan out of the old man's pocket. The thief was about to stop the driver with money, but the old man found the thief. I thought the old man would gather everyone to catch the thief, but the old man didn't. The old man quickly knelt down, took the thief's hand and cried, "Please leave the money!" " That's my wife's life-saving money. If the money is gone, then my wife is hopeless! "The most magical scene appeared: as soon as the thief threw the money up, he asked the driver to stop and get off ... The old man hurriedly packed the money into the car and the car was quiet again. ...
I will never forget this matter!
A new thing composition 3 "This pot is really useless, it has only been used for less than a month. Hey, the quality of the products now is too poor! " Dad's complaint comes from the kitchen. "Dad, what's the matter?" Why does dad, who has been smiling, become complaining today? "Look!" Dad lifted the pot. I looked down, and sure enough, the lid and body of the pot were brand-new, but there was a nail-sized hole at the bottom of the pot. "I see." I can't help feeling happy. "Dad, you give it to me and I'll make it up." "You? Don't be ridiculous, I can't fix it, just like a small bean. " I know my father looks down on me. I said unconvinced, "this is a new skill I learned a few days ago." If you don't believe me, I'll show you something. " Let it return to its original state. ""well, it's not good to learn knowledge without practice. If the pot is broken, you can buy another one. Today, I asked my niece to go to the gym, which is also called intellectual investment! " Dad finally showed his "pass". Long live dad!
I cheered.
If you want to ask me why I am so confident, I have to start from the labor class the day before yesterday. In that labor class, the teacher talked about mending pots. I don't know how to attend class, my spirit is particularly concentrated and my notes are accurate. Unexpectedly, it really came in handy today. Thought of here, I secretly pleased.
Hurry up and make up the pot and show my ability in front of my dad. First of all, I prepared the materials for repairing the pot, including toothpaste skin, nails with the same size as the pot hole, yellow sauce and hammer.
It's time to mend the pot. I took my notes and followed the first step mentioned above. Mouth chanting: "put the same size nails back and forth in the pot hole ..." "Oh!
You have to follow your notes! "Dad beside said with a smile, of course, this is the teacher's method. Wait and see! "Then I continue to work. Sure enough, the small serrations on the edge of the pot hole are gone and very smooth. Step 2, roll the toothpaste skin into a roll the size of a pot hole. Looking at this flat toothpaste tube, my heart swelled: Can this small toothpaste tube fill that hole? What you often do is different from what the book says!
No, if you flatter your dad, you must make up the pot, and you can't let your dad see jokes. Toothpaste skin with holes!
I also secretly encouraged myself. The toothpaste skin was rolled up and I inserted it into the pot hole. Oh!
Just right. In the third step, I put the pot on the ground, knocked the protruding part of the toothpaste skin flat with a hammer, and scooped up some yellow sauce with a spoon. At this time, my father spoke again: "Is this really earthwork?" "Khan! It doesn't matter whether it's native or foreign, just fix the pot. Oh, dear! Not good. " The tip of the toothpaste skin made a cut about half a centimeter long on my thumb. "Nothing, stick a' band-aid'." "No, I'm almost finished." After that, I put yellow sauce on it. Finally, I put the pot on the fire for a few minutes. After cooling, the yellow sauce solidifies. I quickly poured a large basin of water into it and stared at the bottom of the pot. After a long time, the bottom of the pot is still dry. "Ah, it worked!" I am dancing with joy. I looked at my wound again. Why doesn't it hurt at all? Oh, the joy of success made me forget the pain. "I didn't expect my niece to mend the pot. This is really a new thing. "
I listened and said confidently, "There will be many new things in the future."
This morning, Wang Cheng Jingrui saw a small and exquisite magpie. There are two small nostrils on reddish-brown lips, and one or two bright patterns on colorful bodies. The wings are held back, and the feathers on them are neatly combed, all black, and there is no hair. Tail up and move slowly. Long, like a line. The claws are extremely sharp, and I am not very happy to catch it on the rockery. Wang Chengjingrui picked up a stone and tried to hit it, but missed it. However, although he was not hit, he fell off the rockery.
I went to watch it with Wang Chengjingrui, Zhang Shuaijie and others. I saw his chest hurt and his wings bruised. I felt sorry for it, so my friends and I hid it in the dense flowers. There are many weeds and dense leaves here, so hiding in it is as safe as hiding in the depths of the jungle. After finishing these, I caught a few more bugs and put them there. Then, we go to class.
After class, we went there to find magpies. However, the whole flower bed has been searched, and there is still no bird hair. Now, we are in a hurry. We looked for it several times, but we still couldn't get any news. We asked a dozen people for help, but there is still no news from them. Soon, the whole class knew about it and talked about it. When the discussion was heated, the class began.
Another class is over. Let's inspect the famous "Missing Magpie" in our class. Zhao Shilong found it in a flowerpot. As soon as we saw it, the chest wound was almost healed and the wings were completely recovered. So I decided to hide it behind the southern suburb building and agreed not to tell anyone about it.
After school, I took Zhang Shuaijie and Wang Chengjingrui to the back of the Nanjiao Building and found that the magpie had disappeared. We searched everywhere and finally found it among the flowers. It is pecking at the insects in the flowers. First of all, I was taken aback. A magpie is injured, but it can still flap its wings and fly. It was abandoned in a damp and remote corner, and with its super memory, it was able to return to the jungle and safe residence with good environment. This is the power of life.
In the afternoon, we held it in our arms and looked for its nest. Soon, we came to an unusually lush tree, and several birds came running and twittering. The magpie took them back to the nest and stuffed some bugs into the birds' mouths.
On the way home, my classmates and I talked and laughed about magpies. Zhang Shuaijie spoke first: "I think that magpie broke its leg, and now it's fine." Wang Yu doesn't think so. He said half jokingly, "I think it hurts the chest because of obesity." If others hit it, it can't hide because of obesity. " Jing Rui thought he went on to say, "Wang Cheng's magpie is missing. Some child must have caught it and put it in the flowerpot. " Later, I said, "The magpie got a chest injury first, and then hid in the rockery. Someone threw a stone, which alarmed the magpie and made it fall off the cliff. We hid it, and someone followed us, knew where we were hiding, and secretly put it in a flowerpot. Just come out. "
As the saying goes, "If you want to see the truth, you should pay attention everywhere." In life, there are many such new things. Want to know their ins and outs, can not be separated from the observation and thinking of things.
A new thing, composition 5, needs novelty and "freshness". Where can I find such a thing? Some fragments of my past life flew like shuttles in my mind. Hey, I remember!
A while ago, the shopping center of Vientiane City in Qianjiang New City opened! After the school had spring break and visited Xia Yan's former residence with my classmates, we went to Vientiane City Shopping Center. After eating a delicious meal, I met my classmates and mother in the huge shopping city. My mother said to walk around properly after a full meal to avoid getting fat, so we led her to the fourth floor.
Where on earth is it?
Huh? Only see this empty land, a vast expanse of whiteness! Cold! Only three or two foreigners are sewing with needle and thread, and they simply can't understand what they are sewing! What is this place?
"Look! Someone is coming out! " My classmates and I walked along the guardrail and saw a handsome boy and a beautiful woman "slip out". So this is an ice rink! No wonder it's much cooler near it! The ground should be icy and slippery, right? ! It's a pity that I didn't use touch to verify it!
We were fascinated by two groups of relaxed and charming performances. An enthusiastic waiter came forward, greeted us and invited us to visit. This is a good opportunity! You know, we definitely don't have a study plan at present, and we don't have the enthusiasm to practice in the end. What's new in the skating rink that makes the waiter so confident and proud? You know, this is the only indoor skating rink of this size in Hangzhou! It hasn't officially opened yet! Coincidentally, we were treated as "VIPs"!
Walk into the stadium, let's touch the east and see the west!
"Look! What is this? Ah, the key? " Why don't keys need holes?
"hello! We have better ice-making equipment here! Please come in with me! " The waiter smiled and sent out the invitation when he saw us curious little guys. We are getting more and more excited!
"Ah, a few guys, can make ice? So they are responsible for the ice in such a big field outside? Then why can't the glass in this workshop feel cold? What are the staff wearing inside? Won't freeze to death? " It seems that if the science class is moved here, everyone will definitely study harder!
After studying the refrigeration system, I was about to leave, but my eyes were full! Finally solved the original mystery-what did foreigners sew with needle and thread? Look! The foreigner who sews is wearing skates and pulling a cloth sail tied with thread. When he skated, the sail slowly flew into the air. With the change of the performer's hand movements, the sail glided up and down, left and right, and easily. We want to know: Is the sail really light? I really want to go in and drag it to experience it!
Later, I heard that the tickets for the special event starting on May 8 would cost hundreds, so I got a big bargain. It seems that this is our first special performance!
Students, have you ever met such a new and lucky thing?
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