A joke or story about childhood.

Teacher Fang Qingping is my childhood.

I didn't expect someone to really applaud. What a big business. In fact, I know in my heart that your applause is a farewell to the host. I don't have a name, but just now, at the gate of the theater, a child recognized me. "You are an actor, playing Avatar." I mistook you for someone else. Watching those comedians come on stage, the audience applauded and laughed constantly; Come to my house? The dawn here is quiet. You don't have to comfort me, really, I'm used to keeping a low profile. I'm not talking about cross talk, I'm talking about loneliness. Because I was not a cross talk material since I was a child, I was a little silly since I was a child. How happy children are now: three couples and one child. Before I could speak Chinese, I signed up for an English class.

When I was a child, my father was the only one of the five boys in my family who earned money. Five children and four pants, I am too old to stay at home. Does the child have toys now? Fully charged: computers, game consoles, electric batons, this is not allowed to play. When I was a child, there was a switch at home, and my father wouldn't let me touch it. Now this kid, MP8, I didn't even have a P when I was a kid. My grandmother has a crutch. She died. I played with it for half a year. I use it to pretend to be an old lady.

There is really nothing interesting in the middle of the school holiday. The monitor organized a competition for us to see who could put his head in the desk. I was quite successful. I went in and couldn't pull it out. Bring my father here and take me to the hospital. The teacher in the reception office wouldn't let me out, saying that the table was public property and I had to take it down before I could go to the hospital. My dad said, if you can take it off and go to the hospital, why go? I won't let you go until I pay the deposit. Now doctors are responsible for their patients. When we were young, doctors fooled people. You have to cut off my neck. My dad said beheading had been abolished long ago, so he dragged me away. Go home. You can't get in the car. Walking home with a desk, I 100% turned my head. I don't know which department I belong to. One of our neighbors is a carpenter. He says he can saw tables. My dad can't bear it. The school is withholding money. My dad says it's good to wear a desk, which is convenient for homework. My mind is full of homework and I can't see anything. After three days, I lost weight and finally pulled it out.

How rich children are now to watch performances: cross talk, puppet show, drama and music. When we were young, we only performed those plays, all of which were performed by the district amateur troupe. When I was a child, I watched "Outwit Tiger Mountain-Yang Zirong Shoots Luanping". Yang Zirong pinned Luanping with this hand and made a hard stroke with the gun in this hand. There was a prop master backstage who hit the gun with a hammer. Thunderbolt and Luanping died. It was a performance on the playground that day, but it rained and the cannons were wet. Yang Zirong made a gesture, the gun didn't go off, and our classmates froze. The teacher told us that Yang Zirong used silent pistol. Luanping, he didn't hear the gunshots. He didn't lie down. Yang Zirong continued to play: "I represent the people" and "I represent the party". Yang Zirong was very anxious: "There are no bullets. On behalf of the People's Party, I strangle you. " This Luanping was strangled. I stood up and cheered. I said Uncle Yang Zirong is really strong. Because my head was squeezed by the table, I became a little confused.

At that time, our family had a chicken that was run over by a car. The driver wanted to lose money, so he asked me, "Son, is this chicken yours?" I said, "Look at chicken feathers, but our chicken is not so flat."

My aunt sometimes helps me with my homework and tells me stories about Monkey King Thrice Defeats the Skeleton Demon. She has long hair and blue fangs. I won't listen. My aunt looked out of the window. My aunt was really anxious: "Fang Qingping, look at me, not me. Do you know what Bai looks like? "

I don't listen in class. The teacher is talking above, and I am whispering below. Our teacher punished me: "Fang Qingping, repeat what you just said loudly for twenty times!" " "Dare not say. Stop here: "There are leeks in the teacher's teeth, leeks in the teacher's teeth, leeks in the teacher's teeth ..." "Ok, remember later: if you want to talk in class, you must raise your hand. "The teacher spoke for twenty minutes. It's time to answer students' questions. Everyone raised their hands, so did I. Teacher, I still remember the sadness just now. The last one called me, "Fang Qingping, what do you want to ask?" "It's too late, I solved it on the spot."

The worst thing I learned was Chinese, and I can't even make sentences. The teacher asked me to make sentences with the word "one by one". My sentence is: "At six o'clock in the evening, my father came home one after another." The teacher wrote a comment at the back: "Is your home messy?" Why don't dads go back together? Give it back? How many times does your mother have to heat the meal? "At that time, without my father, I couldn't even make sentences. My father was the only one making money at home. The teacher asked me to make a sentence with the word "thank you". The sentence I made was: "I thank my father for doing my homework. "Betrayed my father. The teacher asked me to make a sentence with "original", and the sentence I made was: "It turns out that she is my father. "

I realized that writing a composition was even worse. In the second grade of primary school, the teacher asked me to write "My XXX". What about me? Kiss up and write about my teacher. The first sentence: "My teacher is a melon face." I write one less "hook" and one less "dot" on this melon. Our teacher looked at it: "My teacher is paw face." Claw face, what virtue? Then read on: "At midnight, I came to the teacher's door." Children don't know why they go to the teacher's house in the middle of the night, and they don't know what the wind is. "Looking at the teacher's window, the candlelight is still flashing." Our teacher is a pioneer in saving electricity. "The teacher corrected our homework overnight." This homework in primary school was actually finished in half an hour. Our teacher is slow, so we have to change it to evening. "Looking at the white hair on the teacher's temples, my eyes are moist." That year, our teacher was only 2 1, young and bald. "The teacher endured the pain and changed our homework for the last time. He closed his eyes happily and left us forever. Silkworms in spring will weave until they die, and candles will drain the wick every night. We must carry on the teacher's legacy and be teachers of the people when we grow up. "I want to be a teacher when I grow up, and I don't know where to find so many students. We could only write this kind of composition when we were young. In the third grade of primary school, I was asked to write "my XXX", but I was afraid to write a teacher. I'm afraid of getting into trouble. I wrote, "My grandmother has passed away, and I sincerely wish her happiness and a long life. "If you are all dead, you will live longer than Nanshan. Zero point! In the fourth grade of primary school, I was asked to write "My XXX". I guess I will do well in the exam, and I can't get any more zero points. The title of my composition is "My Comrade Qiu". The teacher says you have to know people, too. Even I have never met Comrade Qiu. Zero! Because our knowledge was narrow when we were young, the teacher could only give us the topic "My XXX" or write "A Good Thing". As soon as you write this question, you will be in trouble. Eighty percent of the students in the class should see the old lady crossing the road. Now the old lady will cross the road by herself. With that brave one, the faster the car drives, the more she rushes forward, right? The car came from here, and the old lady forgot to look there. " You dare not hit me anyway. "When we were young, the old lady was very honest. She waited with a stick from there, waiting for us to help her, but after helping her, she didn't go home. She also checked her household registration:" What's your name? "We can't tell her anyway and say,' My name is the red scarf'. "This is a good thing to write, let's keep a diary every day. What does such a young child have to remember every day? Nonsense: "Today is a sunny day. The teacher led us to climb Mount Everest, and the students started the mountaineering competition. Wang Xiaoming, a sports commissioner, climbed to the top of the mountain in less than five minutes. At the top of the hill is an orchard with watermelon trees, wax gourd trees and Christmas trees. The farmer's uncle climbed the watermelon tree as dexterously as a big cat. The farmer's uncle picked the biggest watermelon and threw it to me. I grasped it firmly with my left hand. Opposite the orchard is the Palace Museum. The students lit a bonfire in the Forbidden City and listened to the teacher talk about her war stories. The teacher said that as long as we get good grades in the exam, we will climb the Xiangshan Mountain, which is higher than Mount Everest. The teacher said he would take us to Xiangshan to pick sausages. "Spring outing is often organized. Every time a child writes "Experience of Spring Tour", the whole class has a set of words: "We came to the park with great interest. The rockery was the first thing that caught our attention. The bonus on the mountain is like fire, pink as chardonnay and white as snow. Some students play hide-and-seek and some eat snacks. Everyone had a good day and left reluctantly. The students said,' Come back to the park next spring.' "This set of words.

On a spring outing, the school organized a grave-sweeping. Let's write a composition. We also used this phrase: "We came to the cemetery happily. The first thing you see is the grave. The flowers on the wreath are as red as fire, as pink as chardonnay and as white as snow. Some students are playing hide and seek. " You are brave enough to run to the cemetery to play hide-and-seek, and you are not afraid to meet kids. "Someone is eating snacks," eating a tribute. "Everyone had a good day and left reluctantly. The students all said,' Come here next spring.' "This is not all hold up?