What difficulties may non-drinkers encounter in interpersonal communication in China?

People who don't drink in China may encounter two main difficulties in interpersonal communication, and basically all other difficulties are derived or triggered by these two.

1, difficult to integrate

In China, whenever there is a drinking exchange, it basically has the characteristics of "bureau", and the topics in the bureau are often toasting, series, triggering and so on. Raising a glass and drinking is a ticket, a proof that you speak and express your strength, and a strong consciousness of our group. Talking without a ticket is basically interrupting, and interrupting too much is offensive. So many times, if you don't drink, you are a bystander when you have to drink.

2. It is difficult to do things.

In many places, things about China people can't be discussed well on the desk, but they can be discussed well on the wine table. What is discussed on the table is the open rules. You are you, I am me, and no one can have privileges when you are dead. Talking about personal feelings on the wine table, you are my brother, I am my younger brother, who is alive without exception? First of all, your environment determines whether this question holds, because of the inherent social attributes of human beings.

As a highly socialized species, it is difficult for you to be "immune" because of the inherent genetic inheritance of human beings. Whether it's the innate physiological structure or the acquired personality, all you have is what others give or are deeply influenced by others-you have no choice.

So your environment, whether macro or micro, whether you drink or not, determines whether your so-called difficulties exist. The choice of environment can be divided into active and passive. If you have the ability to choose actively, please use Occam razor to get the most worry-free results. If not, we should carefully analyze and study how to get along.

PS: When you have the ability to choose the environment actively, it actually means that you have the right to make the rules of the game. You are the boss, and you have the final say. But the premise of this article is that you are not such a person.

Secondly, in an environment, when learning from a "rational person" to evaluate his "personality", will it lead to "exclusion" or "assimilation"? Is this trend or result acceptable to your own values? Are its "opportunity cost" and "marginal cost" something you can and are willing to bear?

What is established, or the way of forming folk customs, is often difficult to eradicate. They seem to have solidified into a spiritual totem or behavioral symbol of an organization or group. For example, when it comes to Russians, we usually label them as "fighters" and "drinkers". In addition to our subjective cognition and access to information, the most important thing is that they have such remarkable, frequent and amplified behavior events.

Therefore, if a non-drinker is in the social drinking circle, you can't follow the trend, but you can't help but participate and refuse both, which highlights your otherness and unsociable-not to mention that others don't mind, even you will be driven by strong "conformity" or "altruism" psychology, and then some psychological and behavioral changes will occur. Generally speaking, this change tends to take two forms, exclusion or assimilation.

Exclusion or assimilation is nothing more than a question of who rejects who and who assimilates who. It depends on whether you, as an objective subject, have the thinking of "rational person" to weigh the "opportunity cost" and "marginal cost" of the event you are about to face. In the face of "drink or not", no matter which choice you make, you will lose the possible benefits of another choice, which is the opportunity cost; "I've already had one drink. Would you like another?" Either way, after you make a decision, you will lose the possible benefits of another choice derived from it. This is the marginal cost.

One thing to remind you, whether you decide to drink or not, you must have self-knowledge and the spirit of contract.