Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Seek the thirty-fifth story of Journey to the West in vernacular Chinese.
Seek the thirty-fifth story of Journey to the West in vernacular Chinese.
Journey to the west-
Back to the 35th time, the evil ways were rampant, and the evil spirits of mindfulness apes were the treasure.
"Nature circle Ming Dow save yourself, turn out of the net. It is not easy to make changes, but it will last forever after practice. Clear and turbid, running with it several times, and robbing it several times. There is no plan for one trillion years, and a little glory is always empty. " This poem coincides with Sun's wisdom. He called himself a magical treasure, stuffed it in his sleeve, and said happily, "The devil tried his best to take me away, which is really fishing for the moon in the water;" If I want to catch you, it's like ice on fire. " He hid the gourd, sneaked out of the door, showed his true colors and shouted, "Open the door!" " ""who are you, coming here and shouting? " A little demon asked Monkey, "Express delivery to you, old demon." I'm Sun Lai, monkey. The little demon rushed into the room and reported, "Your Majesty, there is a monkey outside the door. "。 The old monster was startled and said, "Good brother, this can't be done! Provoked him a nest of wind! The golden rope is a monkey, and the gourd is a monkey grandson. How can there be a grandson of a monkey?
I think his brothers are here. "The second magic way: Brother, don't worry, my gourd can hold 1000 people. I'm just pretending to be a grandson, but I'm afraid of that grandson! When I go out to have a look, I will pack it. " The old demon said, "Be careful, brother."
Look at the second demon holding a fake gourd and walking out of the door shouting, "Where are you from?" How dare you shout here? " "You don't recognize me?" Asked the monkey. My family lives in Huaguoshan and my ancestral home is in water curtain cave. I haven't played for a long time just to make trouble in heaven. Now fortunately, I have escaped the disaster and abandoned the road to use monks. Understand Lei Yin's teachings and seek enlightenment. When you meet a wild demon, you get an avatar. Give me back the Tang Priest and go to the Western Heaven to worship Buddha. The two families went to war and lived in peace. Don't mess with the old sun jiao and harm the old man! ""Come here, "said the devil." I won't fight you, but do you dare to answer when I call you? "The monkey smiled and said," If you call me, I will answer. If I call you, will you answer it? The demon said, "I called you because I have a treasure gourd that can hold people. You called me, but what is it? " The monkey said, "I have a gourd, too." The devil said, "Yes, show it to me." Monkey took the gourd out of his sleeve and said, "Look, monster!" Flash, hide in the sleeve, afraid of him to rob. When the demon saw it, he was frightened and said, "Where did his gourd come from? Why is it the same as mine? Even if it is tied to a vine, there are different sizes, right, but how can it be the same? " "Monkey Sun, where did you get that gourd?" He cried seriously. I didn't know the origin of the Monkey Committee, so I took it and asked him, "Where did you get that gourd?" The demon doesn't know that this is an epiphany, but it is an honest statement, so he will say from the beginning: "My gourd is the beginning of chaos and opens to the sky. There is an ancestor who solved the name of Nu Wa, refined stones to make up the sky, and saved Yan Fu's world. " When I arrived at the palace, I saw a wisp of xianteng at the foot of a Kunlun mountain, with this purple-gold-red gourd tied on it, but it was left by the old gentleman today. Hearing this, the Great Sage breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Where did my gourd come from?" ? "
The devil asked, "How can I see?" The Great Sage said, "Since the beginning of turbidity, the sky has not accepted the northwest, and the earth has not accepted the southeast. Taishang Daozu solved the problem of Nuwa, made up for the deficiency of Heaven, and went to the foot of Kunlun Mountain. There is a fairy vine with two gourds. I think one is a man and yours is a woman. " "Don't talk about sex," said the monster. "All those who pretend to be human are good treasures." The Great Sage said, "You're right. I'll let you install it first." The monster jumped up with joy, hugged the gourd and called "Monkey Sun." Hearing this, the Great Sage kept answering eight or nine times, but he just couldn't pretend. The magic pendant will fall and step on his chest and say, "Oh, my God! Just say the world will not change! Such a baby is also afraid of her husband. Women are afraid to pretend when they see men! " Monkey said with a smile, "Put it away. It's my turn to call you. " He jumped up with a somersault, put the bottom of the gourd in the air, put his mouth on the ground, looked at the demon and called out "King of Silver Horn". The monster didn't dare to be quiet, so he had to answer and suddenly put it in. Monkey posted, "Your Majesty has ordered it urgently." He was secretly happy and said, "My son, let's try something new today!" "
He pushed down the cloud, took the gourd, thought about it, and came to the Lotus Cave just to save the master. The mountain is full of potholes. He walked around cross-legged, and the cable in the gourd was shaking and the noise was endless. Why is he making a noise? It turns out that Sun is a tempered body, so you can't rush to melt him. Although monsters can walk on clouds, it's just some magic. The big end does not take off, but it will melt in the baby. The monkey hasn't had time to melt. "My son," he said with a smile, "I didn't know it was pee. I didn't know it was gargling. This is my business. I didn't open the lid until it turned into thin juice on July 8. Busy with what? What happened? Thinking that I am easy to get out, I shouldn't look at it for a thousand years! " He was talking with a gourd, but he unconsciously went to the mouth of the cave and shook the gourd. The gourd rang. He said, "It's like the sound of class, so it's good for class. Wait for me to have a lesson and see when Master will go out. " You keep shaking his hand, and he keeps saying, "King Zhouyi, Confucius sage, Miss Peach Blossom, Mr. Guiguzi." The little demon in the cave saw it and said, "Your Majesty, a great disaster is coming! Monkey Sun put Grandpa Two in a gourd to teach him a lesson! " The old devil heard it. I was terrified out of my wits, fell to the ground and shouted, "My dear brother! You and I left the upper bound privately and turned to the mortal world, hoping to share the glory and be the masters of the cave forever. How do you know that this monk hurt your life and broke my brotherhood! " All monsters, cry together.
Pig Bajie was hung from the beam, and when he heard his family crying together, he couldn't help crying, "Don't cry, fairy, until the old pig tells you." The first Sun Monkey, the later Sun Monkey and the later Sun Monkey are all my brothers. He has changed seventy-two. Tengna came in, stole the baby and pretended to be your brother. Your brother is dead, so you don't have to wait for this mourning. Clean up the pot quickly and cook some mushrooms, tea buds, bamboo shoots, tofu, gluten, fungus and vegetables. Please ask my disciple to come down and read the Bible with your brother. Hearing this, the old demon was furious and said, "I only said that Pig was honest, but it turned out to be very dishonest! He treats me like a joke! " Call the little demon: "Don't mourn, untie the pig's head and steam it until I'm full, and then get back at Monkey. Friar Sand complained about Pig and said, "Good! I taught you not to talk too much. If you say too much, steam first! "That idiot is a little scared. A small demon nearby said, "Your Majesty, it is not easy to steam pigs." Pig said, "Amitabha! Is it the brother of Jide? Fruit does not steam easily. Another devil said, "skin him and steam him." . Pig panicked and said, "It's steaming hot! Good steaming! Although the skin and bones are rough, the soup will rot as soon as it is boiled, Tan Hu! Tribal tiger! Just shouting, I saw a little demon playing outside the door:
"Monkey Sun scolded the door again!" The old demon was startled again: "This fellow looks down on me!"
Call: "son, let's hang pigs as usual and check how many treasures are left." "There are still three treasures in the cave," said the little demon, the housekeeper. The old demon asked, "Are those three?" The housekeeper said, "There are also seven-star swords, banana fans and clean bottles." "That bottle is useless," said the old monster. "Originally is to call people, people pretend to pick up. They taught monkeys a formula to pretend to be their brothers. Don't use him, stay at home and get the sword and fan. "
The housekeeper gave the old demon two treasures. The old demon put a banana fan in the collar of the back neck and held a seven-star sword in his hand, which lit up more than 300 demons, large and small, all of whom taught them to draw guns to make sticks and manage knives. The old demon wears a helmet and a red silk robe. Demons arrayed themselves to capture Sun Shengda. Sun Dasheng knew that the second demon had been hit by a gourd, but he was tied tightly around his waist, holding a golden cudgel, ready to fight. I saw the old demon waving a red flag and jumping out of the door. But how to dress up? There is a bright flame on the head and a bouquet of rosy clouds around the waist. Long Lin, dressed in armor, red robe and flame. As soon as the round eyes are opened, the steel whiskers are flying in the smoke. The seven-star sword has a light hilt and a banana fan covering the shoulder. Like a cloud leaving the sea and mountains, the sound is like thunder shaking the mountains and rivers. Majestic deceives the heavenly generals, and angry and handsome monsters come out of the hole. Old demon let small demon square, scold a way:
"You this monkey is very rude! I hurt my brother and hurt my hands and feet. How hateful! " Monkey scolded, "You beggar monster! You are a demon's life. Like my master, brother and even a horse, you hang in a cave for no reason. How can I bear it! What a good reason!
Give me my money back quickly, pay more for it, and spare your life if you like to send it to me, old demon! "The strange letter was high-handed, and the sword was really cut, and the Great Sage greeted it with iron bars. This scene is easy to be killed outside the cave gate! Hey! The golden hoop and the seven-star sword collided like lightning. The long cold air makes people cold, and the clouds shake the ridge weir. It's all because of brotherhood, and some people don't let go of kindness; This is only for Buddhist monks, and it is urgent. The two families hate each other, and the two places are full of anger and resentment. Only ghosts and gods were shocked, and the sky was light and smoky. This molar files jade nails, and that one shines like gold. Be one hero after another and never stop throwing sticks and swords. After twenty rounds of Great Jihad, the old demon was neck and neck. Pointing at the tip of the sword, he shouted, "Little devil! About 300 people surrounded Monkey. "。 Good Great Sage, openly fearless, made a stick and ran around, then reached for the front cover. The little devil has everything. He's getting worse and worse. He is like a wad, holding his waist and pulling his legs. He didn't want to take a step back, and the Great Sage panicked. Even out-of-body experience, he pulled out a hair on the left side, chewed it up and sprayed it out, shouting, "Change! "One by one became a walker. Look at his long stick and short round fist. No matter how young he is, he has nowhere to start. He is holding a solitary turn and gnawing at the tendons, beating all the little demons to pieces and shouting in unison: "Your Majesty, things are not harmonious!
It's hard! The mountains are full of sunbathers! "Beat the demon back in this way, and the old demon was trapped in the middle, driven here and there, and there was no way out.
The demon panicked, holding a sword in his left hand, putting his right hand behind his neck, taking out a banana fan, looking at the flames in the southeast, and violently fanning at the detached palace, only to see the ground, full of flames. So the baby, for no reason, made a fire. That monster is really heartless: he has crushed seven or eight fans in a row, and the sky is full of flames. Good fire:
That fire is not a fire in the sky, not a fire in the furnace, not a fire on the mountain, nor a fire at the bottom of the stove, but a little spiritual fire naturally taken out from the five elements. This fan is not a common thing on the earth, nor is it artificially created, but a treasure produced since the beginning of chaos. With this electric fan, the fire is blazing and yellow, just like the red gauze of the light switch; Burning and shining, but like a sunset. There is not a wisp of smoke, there are red flames everywhere, only the burning pine trees on the ridge have turned into fire trees, while the cypress trees in front of the cliff have turned into lanterns. The animals in that nest are greedy and rush from west to east; Birds in this forest cherish their feathers and fly high. This divine fire has gone with the wind, only burning rotten rocks and streams all over the place! When the Great Sage saw this evil fire, he was also frightened and said, "Oh, no! I can still get along with myself, but I can't do anything. Wouldn't it be as easy as dying in this fire? " When he shook his body, he put a hair on his upper body, and only one became a fake body to avoid fire and disaster. His real body distorted the tactics of avoiding fire, jumped vertically, escaped from the fire, and went straight to his Lotus Cave, thinking of saving Master. I hurried to the door and knocked down the cloud. I saw hundreds of small demons outside the cave gate, each with a broken head and cracked feet and raw skin. It turned out that they were all injured by the way he was in two places, and they all called here and stood in pain. Seeing this, the Great Sage couldn't help being vicious and stubborn, so he turned the iron bar and beat the generals all the way in. Poor thing, the fruit of hard work is still old fur!
The Great Sage knocked out the little demon and crashed into the cave to solve Master's problem. When he saw a flame inside, he panicked and said, "That's all! That's all! The fire started from the back door, but I can't save the master! " Take a closer look, ah! It wasn't fire, it was golden light. He looked at it straight, but it was a clear bottle of suet jade, but he said happily, "Good boy! This bottle was once taken by the little demon to shine on the mountain. I got it. I don't want the monster to search it again. I hid here today, but the result was sparkling. " You see, he stole this bottle of wine. He likes to be happy. Instead of saving Master, he quickly climbed out of the cave and left. As soon as I went out, I saw the demon coming from the south with a sword and a fan.
Sun Shengda couldn't escape and was beheaded by the old demon. The Great Sage made a quick somersault, jumped to his feet and fled without a trace.
When the monster arrived at the door, he found bodies all over the floor, all of which were his elite. He was so scared that he burst into tears and said, "It hurts! It hurts! " There is a poem to prove it. As the saying goes, if you hate apes, good horses and stubborn horses, your spirit will turn to dust. Just because I missed the sky, I was carried away by this mountain. Hongyan is lovelorn, and the demon soldier cries. When shall I unlock the lock and return to my original position? The old demon was ashamed and went into the cave crying step by step, only to find that everything was on fire, leaving only silence. Sad, even worse. A person sitting in a cave, leaning on a stone case, leaning his sword against the edge of the case, putting his fan behind his shoulder and falling asleep silently, is exactly what makes people feel refreshed when they are happy and sleepy.
It is said that Sun Shengda turned a somersault cloud and stood in front of the mountain, trying to save Master. He tied the net bottle firmly around his waist and went to the hole to spy. Seeing two doors open at the door, I quietly didn't smell the consumption. Then I moved gently and sneaked in. I saw the demon leaning on the stone case, fast asleep, the banana fan pulled out his shoulder clothes and half covered his head. The seven-star sword was still leaning on the case, but he gently stepped forward and pulled out the fan. He turned and ran out with a loud cry. It turned out that this handle was blowing that strange hair and woke him up early. I looked up, but Monkey stole it, took the sword and left. The Great Sage had already jumped out of the door, spread the fan on his waist, turned iron bars with his hands and fought the demon. This is a good battle: the angry and evil devil, the angry crown. I hate it, but I can't swallow it. It's hard to understand my heart. The evil mouth cursed the monkey: "Your boss cheated people, hurt me a lot and stole treasures!"! This game will never be tolerated, this is a survival plan! " The Great Sage drank the demon and said, "You are so ignorant! The apprentice has to contend with the master. How can he break the stone after accumulating eggs? "
The sword comes, the iron bar goes, and the two families leave no mercy. Bet twice to win or lose, practice martial arts three times and four times. Gai is a Buddhist monk, and Lingshan participates in the Buddha's position. Gold and fire are incompatible, and the five elements are bruised. Show off your skills and get skills. The confrontation is getting closer and closer, and the devils dare not avoid it first. After thirty or forty rounds of cooperation with the Great Jihad, it was too late for the old demon to resist the enemy. He was defeated and went to the southwest and Yalong Cave.
Only then did the Great Sage push the cloud into the Lotus Cave and release the Tang Priest, Pig and Friar Sand. The three men thanked Monkey for coming out of danger and asked, "Where is the demon?"
"The second demon has been put in the gourd," Monkey said. . "I think it has melted now. The big demon was defeated for a while and pressed Longshan to the southwest. I killed half of the goblins in the cave with my double body method, and some of them were defeated and destroyed by my old body, so I was able to enter here to liberate you. " The Tang Priest was grateful and said, "Apprentice, thank you very much!" Walker smiled.
"Hard work is a fact. You are just struggling in pain. My old grandson is no longer tenable. He is even worse than the soldiers who rushed to the store. He has been running around. Because he stole his treasure, he can calm the devil. " Pig said, "Brother, show us that gourd. I'm afraid those two demons have melted. " The Great Sage untied the clean bottle, took out the gold rope and fan, and took the gourd in his hand and said, "Don't look! He pretended to be old, gargled and coaxed him to lift the lid, so he had to leave. Let's not expose it, I'm afraid he will make trouble. " Apprentice likes to be happy, so he finds rice noodles and vegetables in his cave. Burn the cooker, arrange some vegetarian meals, have a full meal and sleep in the cave. A night without words, dawn in the morning.
The old demon exerted pressure on Longshan, gathered female monsters of all sizes, and prepared to kill his mother, pretend to be his brother, destroy the demon soldiers and cheat away the treasure. All the female monsters cried together. After mourning for a long time, he said, "You wait, it's terrible. I still have this seven-star sword with me. If you want to see your female soldier, borrow relatives from other families to get back at Monkey Brother. " No, a little demon outside the door reported: "Your Majesty, the old man behind the mountain is handsome and has led some ranks." Hearing this, the old demon changed his mourning clothes and bowed down to meet him. It turns out that this old uncle is his mother's brother, and his name is Fox King. Because he heard a report from a demon soldier in Shaoshan that his sister was killed by a monkey, disguised as a sister, stole his nephew's treasure and resisted the enemy in Pingdingshan for several days. However, he is handsome with more than 200 demon soldiers in this cave, and he is here to help out, so he first gathered around my sister's house to get a letter. Just entering the door, I saw the old demon hanging in mourning, and the two of them cried. After crying for a long time, the old devil bowed his head and prepared for the future. At seven o'clock, he was furious, that is, he ordered the old demon to change into mourning clothes, put on his sword, and pointed out the banshee, so he signed a contract and came to the northeast despite the storm.
The Great Sage taught Friar Sand to make breakfast. Walking after eating, he suddenly heard the news and went out to have a look. A group of demon soldiers came up from the southwest. Startled, Monkey quickly pulled away and called Pig, "Brother, that demon has called for reinforcements again." Hearing this, Sanzang was frightened and said, "How about this, disciple?" Monkey laughed and said, "Don't worry! Rest assured! " Bring me all his treasures. The Great Sage tied a gourd and a clean bottle around his waist, a gold rope in his sleeve, a banana fan on his shoulder and an iron bar in his hand. He told Friar Sand to guard his master and sit firmly in the cave. Pig came out to meet him with a nail palladium. The monster arrayed himself and saw the Seven Kings take the lead.
He was born with a long beard, steel eyebrows, a knife and ears, a golden helmet, a chain mail and Fang Tianji in his hand. He shouted, "I made you a bold Po Hou! How dare you cheat others! Steal treasures, harm families, kill magic weapons, and dare to occupy the abode of fairies and immortals for a long time! I will kill them one by one and avenge my sister's family! " Monkey scolded him, "You dead hairy ball, you don't know your grandfather's tricks! Don't go! Lead me! " The monster dodged sideways, tearing Fang Tianji's face. After three or four rounds of fighting, Machamp became very weak and was defeated. Monkey arrived, but he was caught by the old demon and struck three times, only to see Fox Seven turn around and attack. When Pig saw this wall box, he suddenly stopped it with nine-toothed palladium. One arrived at the other, and after a long battle, there was no difference between victory and defeat. The old demon drank, and all the demon soldiers surrounded him.
Sitting in the Lotus Cave, Sanzang was shocked by the shouts. He shouted, "Friar Sand, go out and see how your brother wins or loses." Friar Sand came out with a demon-reducing staff, drank it, and beat it out to fight monsters. Seven saw the situation was unfavorable and turned around and left. Pig caught up with him and shone a palladium on his back. It turned bright red at nine o'clock, leaving a poor soul for the future. I dragged my clothes around. It turned out to be a fox. When the old demon saw that he had hurt the old man, he lost Monkey and grabbed the sword, so he chopped Pig, who held the palladium. During the gambling fight, Friar Sand ran near, raised his staff and struck. The demon couldn't resist and fled south, and Friar Sand followed Pig closely. Seeing this, the Great Sage jumped into the air, took off the clean bottle, put it on the old demon, and called, "King Jinjiao!" Knowing that it was the little demon who was defeated by his own men, the monster turned to answer, pretended to go in and was labeled by Monkey as "Your Majesty is in a hurry." I saw the seven-star sword fall into the dust and return to Monkey. Pig greeted him and said, "Brother, you have a sword. What's wrong? " Monkey laughed and said, Yes! It's already in my bottle. Friar Sand heard that he was at peace with Bajie.
At that time, he swept away all the evil spirits and went back to the cave to report to Sanzang: "The mountain is clean, and the evil spirits have gone. Please get on the horse and go. " Sanzang is in heaven. After breakfast, the disciples packed their bags, mounted their horses and ran around looking for a way out. As he was walking, he suddenly saw a monk flash out of the road, stepped forward and caught St. kurama. "Monk, where are you going?" Give me my baby back! Pig was frightened and said, "That's all! This is the old demon coming to beg for the baby! " Monkey looked carefully and found that it was also Li Laojun. He went to salute in a panic and said, "where are you going, old man?" "The bodhi old zu quickly rose to the throne of the Jade Bureau, stood in the sky at nine o'clock and cried," Monkey, give me my baby back. The Great Sage flew up and said, "What treasure?" ? "The old man said," I have a gourd, a water bottle, a sword, a fan and a rope. ".
Those two monsters: one is a teenager who looks at the golden stove, and the other is a teenager who looks at the silver stove. Just because he stole my treasure and went down to the underworld, there was nowhere to be found, and you caught him today and made great achievements. "You are so rude," said the Great Sage. "You should be accused of lax cymbals." The old man said, "It's none of my business. Don't blame others wrongly. This was borrowed from me three times by the Bodhisattva at sea to send him here to deify demons. See if your master and apprentice really want to go to the West. " Hearing this, the Great Sage thought to himself, "This Bodhisattva is also old and lazy!
At that time, I let my grandson go and let Tang Priest learn from the West. I said the road was difficult, and he promised me to come to the rescue in a difficult place. Now it's an evil spirit killing people. If he can't speak this language, it's his life without a husband! If it weren't for the old fairy, I would never be with him. Since you say so, accept it. "The old man took the five treasures, opened the gourd and the net bottle cap, poured out two strands of dust, pointed with his hand, and still turned into two boys, gold and silver, and followed around. I saw the light of the sun, hey! Vaguely back to the hospital, straight to Luotian. After all, I don't know what happened afterwards. How did Sun protect the Tang Priest? When did he get the Western Heaven? Listen to the next decomposition.
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