Joke time difference

1 changed his girlfriend's phone number to mine when his classmate took a shower. Send him a text message in bed at night "Husband, I'm pregnant". I saw that guy suddenly turn over and get out of bed. Badabada smoked a pack of cigarettes and borrowed money from the dormitory. . .

A brother chases his girlfriend, and every morning he has a pack of heart-shaped biscuits and a bottle of milk. Perseverance, finally got what I wanted.

One morning, he went to see his girlfriend with a heart-shaped biscuit. His girlfriend asked, "Where did you buy this biscuit? I went to many supermarkets, but I just couldn't buy this shape. "

He proudly said, "Of course I can't find it. I chewed it up ... "

Once I went to the supermarket to queue up after shopping, and when the person in front paid, the cashier said, "Your 100 yuan is fake."

The man was shocked: "Impossible? ! This is what KFC just found for me ~!

Today, a monk was performing arts. The city manager told him to leave, but the monk ignored him. The city manager found someone to smash the monk's things, but he was afraid of his kung fu! /kloc-urban management above 0/0 can only say with a stick, are you going or not? The monk said, if I don't leave, you can arrest me. I'm not afraid of you fighting! Then he let out a cry and smashed the brick directly with his hand. When the city manager saw it, he said, you should be reasonable, and monks should not fight and kill. Everyone at the scene laughed.

Five hours later, my father watched me write my composition. There is a simple mistake in writing. The father smiled and said to his mother, "I find your son very stupid." I was in a hurry and said loudly to my father, "Your son is so stupid!" -_-b

Today, on Valentine's Day, a girl who has a crush on me for a long time called me: "Come to my house, no one!" " I ran away with excitement! ! ! ! ! ! ! I knocked on the door for more than an hour and found that there was really no one. ...

This is very touching. You can practice it if you like. I think it is very popular. ...

The mobile phone vibrates and there is a message "I have decided to confess!" " "He and she have always been good friends, but she has always loved him." Oh ... then come on. ""I waited outside her house for a long time, afraid to knock. " "Got the nerve to knock at the door! I support you! " "Do you think she will agree?" "I don't know." She put down her mobile phone and shed tears unwillingly. The phone shook again, but it was a phone call. She replied ... "Please open the door, but I still dare not knock. "

9. I went to elementary school and lied for the first time.

Once the school asked for money, my mother gave it to 100, but it was confiscated in the class that day. After school, I saw that there were snacks on the roadside, so I couldn't help but buy three yuan to eat.

After returning home, my mother asked, "Did you pay the money?"

"Confiscated today."

Mom: "Oh, what about the money?"

Take out the money: "Here you are!"

Mom: "How come there are 97 left?"

Bow your head: "Oh, I accidentally lost three dollars when I came back."

Mom smiled: ... the voice of ............. touched his face with his palm. ...........

10, I asked a girl for her phone number today, and then she said, "I'll give you QQ." I said yes, I went back and added her QQ. Her QQ verification message is "What's my phone number?"

1 1, the most powerful passage of Cindy Renjie: Li Yuanfang: Your honor, a headless man's body was found in the backyard. Di Renjie: As far as I know, this man is dead! Li Yuanfang: Your Excellency knew this man was dead before he arrived at the scene. Your Excellency is really a saint!