An untimely joke.

1. A girl got her boyfriend's engagement ring the night before, but her classmates didn't notice it, which made her very angry. In the afternoon, when everyone was sitting and chatting, she suddenly stood up and said loudly, "Gee, it's really hot in here. I think I'd better take off my ring. "

The hostess called the maid to the front and asked her, "Are you pregnant?" "Yes!" The maid replied. "Fortunately, you can say it. Aren't you ashamed that you are not married? " The hostess trained again. "Why should I be shy, mistress? Aren't you pregnant yourself? " "But I am pregnant with my husband!" The hostess retorted angrily. "Me too!" The maid agreed happily.

3. Motorcyclists like to wear clothes backwards, that is, buckle their mouths at the back to keep out the wind. One day, he drove under the influence of alcohol, overturned and fell headlong on the side of the road. Here comes the policeman: Policeman A: What a terrible car accident. Policeman B: Yes, I hit my head in the back. Policeman A: Well, he's still breathing. Let's help him turn his head back. Policeman B: OK ... One, two, push, turn around. Policeman A: Well, I'm not breathing. ...

On a winding country road, there are often some ghost stories because of frequent car accidents. One night, a taxi driver saw a long-haired shawl on the roadside, and a woman in white waved to him. Because the driver had never seen a ghost, he boldly stopped and let her get on the bus. Along the way, although the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, he is also Mao Mao, so he often looks at the woman behind him in the rearview mirror. The driver got a fright and stepped on a brake! I saw that the woman's face was covered with blood and her expression was ferocious. The driver's teeth trembled with fear. Suddenly the woman said, "Can you drive? I bow my head to tie my shoelaces. You suddenly brake, my nose is broken ... "

5. A patient went to see a doctor. The doctor examined him, frowned and said, "You are too ill. I am afraid that you will not live long. " Patient: "Please tell me, how long can I live?" Doctor: "Ten …" The patient asked anxiously: "Ten what? Ten years and ten months? Ten days? " Doctor: "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five ..."

6. Teacher: "Can you say that some scientists in the18th century have the same characteristics?" Student: "Yes, they are all dead."

7. The rhinoceros dung beetle fell in love with a mosquito. When the beetle asked the mosquito what to do, the mosquito said, "nurse, give me an injection." The tapir patted his thigh: "Fate, I was rubbing pills in the Chinese Medicine Bureau ..."

8. An African lives in a hotel. In the middle of the night, a fire broke out for some reason. Africans don't care so much when they see it, and they run out naked. When the fireman saw it, he exclaimed, "My God! It's burnt, and you can run so fast! "

9. A person wants to study abroad, but he must get the boss's approval. So he asked his boss for instructions, and the boss gave him a note that said, "Go ahead." The man thought, "Go = Go, the boss approved." So he started packing. A colleague saw him and asked, "What are you doing?" He said: "I want to study abroad, and my boss approved it and wrote me' Go'." Colleagues are happy to see the article: "Our boss doesn't approve it at all! ! You don't know our boss's English level, he is talking! "

10, the priest said to the farmer who bought his horse and carriage: "This horse can only understand the language of the church, and it will run when it is called" Thank God "; It didn't stop until it was called "Praise God." The farmer expressed doubts about this. He tried to shout "Thank God" and the horse ran faster and faster at once. A frightened farmer ran to the edge of the cliff and remembered that the password of "Praise God" had stopped him. Sure enough, the horse stopped. The farmers who survived the accident breathed a sigh of relief: "Thank God ..."