Selected humorous text messages to your girlfriend

1. God has destined us to be together. Asking you is caring, looking at you is joy, kissing you is love, not seeing you for a day makes me worry, I will love you forever and never change my heart, I will only love you for the rest of my life, An earthquake comes to a heart.

2. Because I miss you, my fingers will not move; because I love you, my tears will not flow; because I am looking forward to you, time will not pass; because I am waiting for you, I dare to speak out my words, love I’ve been having sex with you for a long, long time!

3. Don’t move! Stretch out your hand, catch my sincerity, true feelings, true meaning, and true love, and keep them well. These will bring you a lifetime of happiness, a lifetime of happiness, and we will stay together for life after life.

4. Some love is unforgettable inadvertently; some people meet inadvertently; some things begin inadvertently; there are three words, inadvertently, I want to Just blurt it out! My love, you understand!

5. All sadness is because of you; all melancholy is because of you; all lovesickness is because of you; all addiction is because of you; all happiness and joy are , and it’s all because of you. I love you!

6. Look at the beautiful scenery of mountains and rivers, look at the pigs and dogs, and talk about the good animals. Talk about love, hobbies and moods, and talk about good things. This life is good with me and you, and this life is wrong without you without me. I regret this life with you, but I would not have this life without you. I confess to you and enjoy the scenery, and the world is in a good mood.

7. One day we will meet by chance at a certain intersection, with a flash of surprise in our eyes. I hope that we will meet again under the bright sunset, whisper a love word, and write a love painting.

8. The polished voice sings a clear song for you; the transparent eyes express my thoughts; with you in my heart, everything else becomes eclipsed; I pour a cup of tea and hold it until it gets cold before I think of drinking it; The warmth of holding hands is better than straightforwardness. I am only happy with you.

9. Meeting you is a kind of happiness, may happiness fill your life; meeting you is a kind of beauty, may beauty shine in your life; meeting you is a kind of happiness, may happiness accompany you You are forever.

10. I have a little secret buried in my heart, and I can only tell you secretly: let the wind tell you quietly: I like you so much; let the cloud tell you quietly: I love you so much; let the rain Tell you quietly: I miss you so much that I cry.

11. Stop arguing about what a happy life is, stop caring about what a perfect future is, don’t let yourself be trapped in a lonely empty city without sweet memories, love bravely and seize the most beautiful present!

12. Foolish people make people sad, and smart people make people happy. I made a fool once and made the person I love sad. I want to change my ways and become a smart person. I pray for forgiveness from the one I love the most, and ask for forgiveness of my sins.

13. When you smile, my sky becomes clear; when you are angry, my weather becomes cloudy; your every move affects my expression; after falling in love with you, my IQ is zero; every day I want you to come here, but without you, I feel like I am in prison and being tortured!

14. You ask me: Where is love? I answer you softly and with all my heart: Love is in the clouds, love is in the stones, love is in all visible objects; love is in my dreams, love is in hope, and love is in you every day and night of my life!

15. The dolphin wanted to give the angel a kiss, but it was a pity that the sky was too high. The angel wanted to give the dolphin a kiss, but the sea was too deep. I want to give you a hug, but it's a pity that I'm too far away from you. I can only send you a text message, I miss you.

16. If the flowers do not bud, how can they make the world laugh? If the cows just eat grass, they may not be full. If there is no gunpowder in the world, how can there be little Japanese mortars? You can smile at me, but you already seem drunk and faint. If you don't treat me well, two words: hang yourself!

17. I am not rich and cannot give you big gifts; I am not romantic and cannot bring you surprises; I am not handsome and cannot make you intoxicated. But I love you, and I want to say to you: Let me take care of you for the rest of my life!

18. I am very poor, I have no flowers to give you; I am very poor, I have no house to give you; I am very poor, I have no car to give you; I am very poor, I have no bank card to give you.

However, I have endless love for you, which makes me rich!

19. Your misunderstanding has frozen my sincere heart at the bottom of the sea. I feel the pain of loneliness, the fear of darkness, the coldness of my heart, and the suffocation of life. Please forgive me! Please rescue me from the bottom of the sea quickly. Please care about me if you love me.

20. My dear, I want to hold you every moment, listen to your breathing, feel your body fragrance, touch your bun, and taste the sweetness of love with you! Let us never be separated, I love you!

21. As long as you are here, I hope I can accompany you every day and go to every corner together. When you are not around, I still miss you day and night. A moment of silence and thoughts are the charm that grows with you. I love you!

22. After passing ISO9001 quality certification, my heart that loves you is true, my love for you is pure, and the time I love you is eternal. In addition to ISO, other certification agencies have also certified Zhang, now there is only one last stop left. As long as you see the text message and smile, OK, all procedures are authenticated.

23. My world is a forest, full of various trees and flying birds. But there is only one tree that I have been obsessed with and longing for, and that is you. , there is only one bird, and that’s you! I love you!

24. It’s getting cold, so I’m sending you a text message. I have no other meaning. I just want to give you my body temperature to give you more warmth; I’m sending you my love. Give you more care. I hope you won’t be cold this winter!

25. I can't sleep at night and my eyes are red. I can't eat because I think about it. My body and mind are as haggard as a hemp stick. A small breeze can dissipate it. The feeling of loving someone is like being fucked and being manipulated around by Yi. As long as I don't miss you anymore, I would rather be your pet peeve. Heaven and earth, I fall in love with you, what do you want me to do?

26. Dejun’s flowers are fragrant, and the petals are cut to weave colorful clothes. The beauty is so thin that it is difficult to take care of it. The love is still there like the old dream, and the youth is still accompanied by the sunset. Missing you, the night gives me the courage to live, and I have the hope to look forward to the morning light!

27. The phoenix is ??hanging on the curtains, the morning mist is accompanied by snow and dew among the flowers. Last night, I looked at the moon. Tonight, the stars and the moon are holding hands. They have experienced the world of mortals and the streams are clear. The bright moon is drunk on the lamp and the years are passing. If I love you, I will give you all my love and make you happy forever!

28. How I wish you were my dog, I caress your head every day, I wish you were my coat, you would wrap me around me every day, I wish you were my quilt, I would wake up every day Kiss your back, I know this is all I pursue in this life, can it satisfy me?

29. In the cold night, there is no dream to recall the beauty, and the lonely candle reflects the wall with tears. Last year, the waning moon looked at each other. Tonight, we have no sleep for the two candles. The phoenix returns to its hometown to wait for the morning dew, and the Milky Way bridges the twin stars. I miss you, God gives me the happiness of crying, and makes me happy all day long!

30. When I miss you, I am like a cloud, and my heart is filled with dense rain; when I miss you, I am like a leaf, and the wind you pass by will sway me; when I miss you, I am like a wave, rolling the river of longing. ;When I miss you, I am like sunshine, I just want to give you warmth and happiness!

31. Nobel said, "I am not committed to love, so there is no love prize in the Nobel Prize." I say to you: "I am the Nobel Prize ', if you love me, give me to you. Thank you! ”

32. I hope: we can go on for a long time. There won’t be any quarrels or too many differences. If there are problems, discuss them and solve them. Don’t hide them. We will be together for the rest of our lives.

33. When the wind blows, the clouds are carefree; when the raindrops fall, the stream smiles; when the snow falls, the red plum blossoms are in bud; when the flowers bloom, bees and butterflies surround them; when I miss you, my brows light up with joy.

I don’t feel distressed when I miss you, I love you and am enveloped in happiness!

34. Give me your dependence and open your embrace; give me your cheerfulness and let the smile come in; like a butterfly flying across the blue sky, like happiness flying across the sea, give me your love for me and let me Smiles float to the clouds, let happiness surge to your heart's content, and love you everywhere!

35. I can forget everything, but I can’t forget you; I can abandon everything, but I can’t abandon you; I can ignore everything, but I can’t ignore you; I must tell you how much I love you. Love you!

36. God has given me this fate, so I am in heaven every day. Because of love in life, happiness is everywhere around me. With you in my life, I am beautiful every day.

37. You are the sweet encounter in my life, which prevents me from drifting alone in the world. I hope you can accept this eternal ring, let it shine like the immortal stars, and let happiness be ours from now on. The most tender embroidery in my heart!

38. Loneliness is a kind of blue, like the rolling clouds and smoke in the sea. Missing is a kind of blue, like the sky connecting the cape. When I turn around and don’t see your face, I will miss you in my dreams. You are not alone without my company. My dear, I miss you.

39. Are you free on the weekend? Let’s go hiking! I heard people say that a man can find his wife by climbing a mountain. If you don't stay with me, the opportunity will be taken away by others. If you don't reply, I'll treat it as your unconditional consent.

40. Leaving traces of happiness on your face, carving sweet memories in your heart, filling your life with romance and writing happy legends, this is my greatest hope in this life. May you have a happy life and love you forever!

41. The space in my heart is filled with deep love; getting along is always too short, and lovesickness is always too sweet; love is lingering in the dim lights, like wine; thoughts are surging, and the sea is blue; I miss you every day At this moment, how can we understand this situation? I can only embrace you forever!

42. We have experienced the ups and downs in the world; we have withstood the wasted years; we have felt the storm no matter how severe it is. After traveling through thousands of mountains and rivers, our love has been condensed. I love you, your concern for me will always linger in my heart!

43. Fate allows us to know each other and fall in love; fate allows us to know each other and stay together. The fate of our past life has destined us to hold hands in this life, to know and cherish our fate, to hold our son's hand, and to grow old together with our son. The vow of love will accompany us throughout our lives, and we will love you forever.

44. Gently open the window and draw a beautiful arc in the air. As long as you watch it with your heart, you will find that it is a tribute to life and an expectation for beauty. Life is made possible by true love. Dazzling, life is brilliant with you, and my love for you will never change.

45. Humorous words for my girlfriend. I heard that a toad jumped out of Taihu Lake today and was run over by a car. I have been very worried after hearing this. I will send you a text message immediately if you are still alive. If so, please reply to me!

46. Life is so tiring! Standing and thinking about falling asleep, having to queue up to get on the bus, unrequited love is really painful, eating has no flavor, drinking easily makes you drunk, going to work is very tiring, and being robbed is not enough Yes, you have to pay taxes when making money, and you have to pay for sending text messages to silly pigs.

47. In the Forest Games, kangaroos and monkeys were praised by the Lion King for their high jumps. The bear was criticized and said unconvinced: I will jump over this bridge tomorrow! Lion King: Look, you still look like a bear. Bridge, ah, bridge (you are still looking at it!)

48. Hello, dear user, your mobile phone number won the first prize in our city’s prize-based Internet access event, with a bonus of 10,000 yuan. Please go to any bank to pick up the gun, password: no movement!

49. Face, this is my business card, you are welcome to come to my plastic surgery hospital at any time!

50. The sky is blue, the fields are vast, and we are busy working while our eyes are high but our skills are low. The water is winding and the roads are narrow, and the days without money are too long. The wind is gentle and people are in such a hurry that they want to rob a bank right away.

51. For men, twenty is semi-finished product, thirty is finished product, forty is fine product, fifty is top grade, sixty is top grade, seventy is waste product, and eighty is souvenir.

52. The characteristics of women in the new era: they can take over the thoughts of a sixty-year-old man, seize the property of a fifty-year-old man, break up a forty-year-old man, and destroy the waist of a thirty-year-old man. Twist, a twenty-year-old man can't find a female companion!

53. I love my sister, and I will sing a love song to you. It's cold, it's warm and caring, it's happy, it's anxious. I thought about it even while squatting on the toilet, so I sent a short message.

54. Yixiu is smart, has a bright head, has many ideas, and has a kind personality; Xiaoye is beautiful, has a gentle temper, has an ordinary life experience, and blushes often. .

55. Let’s talk about a man and woman having sex. After the man entered, he lay on the woman’s body without moving and said softly: We are connected now. The woman was a little unhappy, the man attacked fiercely, and the woman shouted loudly: China Mobile is better than China Unicom! :)

56. Modern teachers are highly skilled in martial arts, and all of them can throw "darts", especially in teaching. There is a magic weapon, it is either homework or a test. After the test, you ask for the money, and if you don't give it to anyone, you will lose it.

57. I will love you for ten thousand years, with my eyes on money; if you want to see me, please send me ten thousand yuan immediately.

58. A man with thinning hair went to the doctor and said: Can you give me something so that I can keep my hair? The doctor said enthusiastically: Take it. After that, he handed him a small plastic box.

59. Women often hope that men can look at her like browsing the window design of a department store, but the cost of maintaining a window is very high.

60. A Mercedes-Benz was dragging a tractor with a BMW. After discovering it, the traffic police reported that the speed of the two vehicles exceeded 180 kilometers per hour. The tractor was the best, following the Mercedes-Benz and turning on the turn signal. Overtaking!

61. Being single is understanding, being in love is a mistake, breaking up is enlightenment, getting married is a mistake, divorce is awakening, remarriage is stubbornness, not having a lover is trash, and having too many lovers is an animal.

62. When you read this message, you owe me a hug; when you delete this message, you owe me a kiss; if you reply, you owe me everything; if you don’t reply, you are mine. .

63. When I ride the wind away, I will look at you in the sky; when I turn into dust, I am willing to protect you; when I turn into a purple cloud, I am willing to give you Eyes bring a little bit of color;

64. Loving you is equivalent to loving yourself. That is false. To love, you must love with all your love, so there is no love for yourself. And you are the one I can no longer love myself for.

65. In the eyes of those who know how to cherish, love will shine like a diamond. But in the eyes of those who don’t know how to cherish, it will always be just an ordinary stone.

66. Falling in love with you is my greatest pain in this life, not loving you is my greatest regret in this life, leaving you is my greatest mistake in this life, and having you is my greatest happiness in this life!

67. I was a member of the Communist Party of China in 1949. I was arrested on 27. They beat me on the first day, but I couldn’t do anything. On the second day, they gave me money and I still couldn’t do anything. On the third day, they offered me a girl, and I took it. On the fourth day, I still wanted to take it. Damn it, I was liberated.

68. Acquaintance is the most precious fate, missing is the most beautiful mood, knowing each other is the tacit understanding of congeniality, and blessing is the most sincere greeting. No matter when and where you are, don't look away and take my blessings with you.

69. Are you lonely? If so, then go downstairs and buy a rope and a stick, tie the rope to the stick, and go to the top of the building to wave the stick when the wind blows. When people ask you what you are doing, just say: I have a seizure!

70. I heard that you were traveling to Xishuangbanna and were attacked by a group of wild boars on the way. The tourists immediately took out food and money. The wild boars were unmoved, but you took out your only ID card. A group of wild boars Kneel down and cry bitterly: Boss, we have found you.

71. Dear user: Since most of your text messages are sent to the opposite sex, which has a very bad impact on society, we have suspended your text message function. Please bring your own bench to the nearby police station tomorrow. Learn style knowledge!

72. Now hurry up and watch CCTV. Zhao Benshan was killed in a bomb. The police sealed off the entire Northeast. 19 people died, 32 were injured, 11 were missing, and 1 was deceived! I heard you are quite smart. Do you know who I am?

73. What’s going on? I dialed your cell phone just now, and after *** rang, the cell phone prompted: You are looking for a little silly pig from out of town, please add 1 in front of the number. I can’t believe it! He dialed again and said: Sorry, the user you dialed is being slaughtered!

74. If you have to lose, I hope it is sorrow; if you have to forget, I hope it is trouble; if you have to miss it, I hope it is misfortune; if it can last forever, I hope it is health that will accompany you. Happiness, joy and love!

75. Why are we so destined? In fact, we have known each other a thousand years ago. It was one evening in autumn when you bit a tooth mark on my arm. At that time, my name was Ludong. Bin.

76. I embedded you in a drop of tear, imagining that it will be amber a thousand years later. I dare not lower my head, for fear that the tear will fall and break you, break me, and break the thousand-year dream. If there is an afterlife, I will travel across thousands of mountains and rivers to find you, my eternal friend!

77. If I have a happy grass, I will give it to you, because I want you to be happy. If there are two, we will each have one. I hope we are all happy; if there are three, I will give you two. I keep one because I want you to be happier than me.

78. Do you still remember when you were in kindergarten? The teacher said to the children: If you urinate on the bed, you will be fined three yuan for the first time, five yuan for the second time, and ten yuan for the third time. You raise your little hand and ask in a low voice: How much is the monthly subscription? I want a monthly subscription!

79. Sunrise and sunset = peace and tranquility, moon and stars, endless thoughts, wind and flowers, snow and moon = happy life, shooting stars, heartfelt words = thousands of blessings, I hope you have a good mood every day!

80. A gentle heart is for those who are sad, a romantic heart is for those who are in love, an eternal heart is for those who are waiting, and a happy heart is for those who are lonely. I I would like to send a blessed heart to those who are reading the message.

81. Don’t move, rob! Do you understand robbery? Take out your sorrow, hand over your sadness, take out your troubles, take off your sadness! Replace it with the text message I provided worth a dime of RMB: Happy New Year!

82. In the new year, I wish you continuous clouds of good things, a mood of spring sunshine, and a colorful life. 7 colorful colors, and occasionally 8 small fortunes. All worries are thrown away. Please accept my 10 perfect and 10 beautiful blessings.

83. The butterfly said to the bee: You are so stingy. You pretend to be full of sweet words but are reluctant to give them to me. Bee said: Humph, you are still talking about me. Why don’t you send me a text message with two antennas so long on your head?

84. I wish you: Destiny is like a peach blossom, wealth is like waves, love is like roses, life is like happiness, flowers are like morning glories, career is like climbing vines, when you have love, don’t be too distracted, and when you have money, don’t spend your hair randomly. Give me some of your windfall.

85. Don’t move! Underworld inspection! Those who know me stand on the left, those who don’t know me stand on the right! Those who wanted to laugh stood in the middle, while others stared at their phones! right! Just you! Put down your phone and hold your head in your hands! Listen; make me happy on New Year's Day!

86. The bells are my greetings, the songs are my blessings, the snowflakes are my greeting cards, the wine is my blowing kisses, and the breeze is my gift! All given to you, I wish you a happy New Year! A better new year!

87. God releases snowflakes to let you put away your troubles. The cold wind closes the windows to let you spread warmth. I send my blessings and greetings to make your coming year smoother and ahead of schedule. Happy New Year!

88. I have booked the first ray of sunshine next year for you. I wish you happiness! I have booked the first morning breeze for you tomorrow morning and wish you all the best! I have reserved the first bird song for you, I wish you happiness! I have ordered my first gift for you, and wish you a happy New Year!

89. Occasional busyness does not mean forgetfulness; with the arrival of winter, I hope you are in a good mood; I will make up for the missed greetings this time: all the care is condensed in this text message, wishing you a Merry Christmas!

90. The low temperature will not subside this year, and you will suffer from the cold every day. Pay attention to cherish yourself, don’t be too tired when studying, eat more fruits when you have nothing to do, go to someone to meditate at night, don’t be anxious or angry when something happens, nourishing the heart and lungs is precious , you and me, revolutionary comrades, the above reminders are free!

91. Thank you CCTV! MTV, thank you to my agency, thank you to mommy and daddy, and thank you to all the fans who support me. I am able to be loved by everyone, and I am here to say happy day to you who are so silly.

92 , More happiness, less worries; no matter how much money you have, just be happy every day; what is life like? You have to season it yourself! Let yourself be happy and worry-free! Have a great weekend!

93. Today, a strong tornado of love is coming to you. You will be swept away by sweet words, occupied by each other's vows, and invaded by sweet words. This threat will continue until you are obsessed with it and can't sleep. Please be careful and guard against it.

94. Do you know what I am doing? Give you five choices: A: Miss you B: Miss you very much C: Miss you very much D: I can’t miss you E: All of the above.

95. 10 points miss you 9 others, 8 pictures The 7 photos are of you, the 6 puppies and 5 of them look like you, the 4 bones and 3 of them are yours, the 2 paws on the ground must be you, I really want to lead you every day.

96. Xiaozhu established a club and said: If members want to be called by nicknames, call me Xiaozhuzhu! Puppy: Call me Puppy! Kitten: Call me Kitty Cat! The chick blushed and said she had something to do.

97. I have always wanted to ask you something, but I didn’t dare to speak openly, especially in the quiet and lonely night when I had so many thoughts, which made me toss and turn. So I had to send you a text message to ask you...are you still wetting the bed?

98. I miss you very much, but I am embarrassed to call you. I am afraid that you are busy, I am afraid that you will ignore me, I am afraid that you will think I am harassing you. I really want to contact you, but...the phone The fee is really expensive, please call my landline!

99. If you are ugly, please call 110; if you are not in good shape, please call 120; if you have a bad temper, please call 119; if you think you are beautiful, please call my mobile phone. Let's talk in detail...

100. When Bush saw me, he burst into tears and lost his soul; when US slaves saw me, they cut off the Internet and shut down their computers, and were defeated; when Annan saw me, he gave me a crisp slap in the face. , "faint, why are you here!!!"

101. I can't eat in the morning because I miss you. I can't eat at noon because I miss you even more. I can't eat in the evening. Because I miss you crazily, I can't sleep at night because... I'm hungry.

102. Afanti became rich and traveled around the world. The car got stuck in the desert. It seems that the little donkey is useful. Where to find it? Afanti thought: Communication is so advanced, let’s send a text message to the little donkey!

103. I have told you more than once not to work so hard and to be careful not to tire yourself out. I wish you a happy new year.

You always say meaningfully: If you don’t roll a few more dung balls during the Spring Festival, what will you eat next year?

104. One pound of melon seeds and two pounds of dates, I wish you good luck early; one pound of candies and two pounds of bananas , I wish you good luck and will not run away; one pound of peanuts and two pounds of peaches, I wish you money rolling into your pocket!

105. I wish you: have a leisurely job, never lose money when playing cards, have an increasing number of deposits, have your pockets filled with dollars, have beauties crowded in front of your bed, be full of energy, and be forever proud.

106. I wish you good luck in the new year, two dragons soaring, three sheep prospering, peace in all seasons, five blessings, good luck, seven stars shining brightly, wealth coming from all directions, ninety-nine concentricity, and perfection

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107. I fell in love with you at first sight, and I will never have second thoughts. I am willing to take care of you for three lifetimes. I dreamed of you four times last night. Your charming five senses left me without a trace. 7 up and 8 down, 99 soon calm down, say 10 words, I am lying to you!

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