Stephen Chow's funny lines

Stephen Chow, a Hong Kong actor and director, became Li's TV special actor from 65438 to 0980 and made his debut. The following is my collection of Stephen Chow's funny lines, I hope it will help you!

1, do you want it? When is it my turn to think? !

There was once a sincere love in front of me. If you don't cherish it, you will regret it if you lose it. The most painful thing in the world is this. If God can give me a second chance, I will say three words to that girl:' I love you'. If I have to add a time limit to this love, I hope it is 10 thousand years. "(A Chinese Odyssey)

Three, wow, yeah, okay! To tell you the truth, my name is Pan An, well proportioned, and a pear flower presses Haitang to commit adultery for * weeks! —— Excerpt from "Tang Bohu Points Chou-heung"

4.nonsense? I'm fine! This is all an illusion! Don't scare me!

5.30 years ago, when I was in middle school, I really thought about her all the time. Sometimes I stop urinating suddenly, and then I think of her. I was so sweet that I forgot to pee for half a bubble.

6. There is no cold water on the alkaline surface, so the surface is all alkaline water. Fish balls also have no fishy smell, but in order to hide it, you specially added curry juice to make curry fish balls. But it's naive, because you haven't cooked enough time. The taste of curry is only on the surface, not at all. Fish balls will be diluted when they are put into soup. A good curry fish balls will keep you from tasting fish and curry. Defeat Never pick carrots, too much muscle, failure! The pigskin was so badly cooked that it didn't bite the head. Defeat Pig blood will rot, disperse and fail when it is caught! The worst thing is the large intestine, which is not cleaned at all, and there is a lump of shit. Are you mistaken? Hey! Shit. Hey, shit. Did you get a look at him? Hey, shit!

7, I tell you, to deal with this kind of woman, we must use condescending eyes and strong arms to save her from the ocean of desire!

8. At least I am also called "triple Andy Lau".

9. I don't have the strength to hit people, and I still say black? -from "Kung Fu"

10, my real identity is to change the social atmosphere, charm thousands of girls, enhance the connotation of young people and stimulate the film market. LAM Raymond Yushu expert Gu Jing, English name JingKoo! -Excerpt from "Trick Expert"

1 1, there's nothing wrong with you. It's your parents' problems that make you like this!

12, is this true? ! What I said cannot be broken! Not bad! I am Tang Bohu who pays equal attention to beauty and wisdom, and I am the embodiment of hero and chivalry! (Tang Bohu points to Chou-heung)

13, I should have hit you, not hurt you!

14. Fate is really unfair. Why did I lose my hair when I was so handsome? You are so ugly, but don't lose your hair.

15. When you see cockroaches or flies in the bowl, shout "Xiao Qiang!

16, at the same time, I have to say, "Miss, there is no denying that I am ugly, but I am very gentle and will never lie.

17, Ah Shui is famous for picking up girls and is a thorn in all our men's side; His elegant posture exudes attractive charm, which makes all girls irresistible; His heartbreaking eyes, no matter how cold and arrogant a woman is, will be melted by his gentle eyes. He is recognized as the lover of the neighborhood and the soul of the tea restaurant. Everyone knows the Prince Egg Tower.

18, I'm impressed! -From A Chinese Odyssey

19, ah! * * thinking, as expected, is like sailing against the current, and it is worthy of being a king with ideas.

20. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ... OK! To tell you the truth, my name is Yushu in the breeze, winning Pan An, and a plum blossom is pressing Haitang to commit adultery for * weeks!

2 1, if a person has no ideal, what is the difference with a salted fish!

22. Get up in the morning and shout "pig!" to the mirror.

23. "It's dangerous here. Hurry back to Mars! " -From shaolin soccer.

24, wrong! This is not an ordinary box, she is the god in the box, referred to as the box god!

25. It's hard to explain it to you with your IQ.

26, two girls, have pity on me, my family of six died overnight. I'm infected with 10 consumption. You can buy me.

With your wisdom, it is difficult for me to explain it to you!

28, chat very congenial, paid some medical expenses. -from "Kung Fu"

29. My feelings for you are like a surging river.

30. who said that I just focused my vision on one point to change my previous view of things! -Stephen Chow famous sentence.

3 1, do you think you won't be found hiding here? It's no use, no matter where you are, such a cool man is as bright and outstanding as a firefly in the dark. Your melancholy eyes, sparse beard, magical knife skills, and that cup of Drymartine all fascinated me deeply! -Excerpted from "Domestic Lingling Paint"

32. Have you ever felt empty, lonely and cold?

33. What about his martial arts? Calling it nine days and ten places, the Bodhisattva shook her head in fear and split the golden lightning palm! Within 100 miles of Fiona Fang, people, animals, shrimps, crabs and fleas all flew to Huasong.

34. Sweeping the floor is only my superficial work. I am really a research monk (student). -From shaolin soccer.

Don't think I won't hit you because you are handsome. -from "Kung Fu"

36. One good turn deserves another, and one evil turn deserves another. There is a natural cycle, and the weather is beautiful. I once caught a dragon and a phoenix by mistake. The emperor caught me today, which is really instructive. My admiration for the emperor is like a raging river and an uncontrollable Yellow River. (the duke of mount deer).

Da Vinci: I got a part-time job, doing research work in the Central Mental Hospital. Q: What do you study? Da Vinci replied: I am studying! -Excerpted from "Domestic Lingling Paint"

38. One good turn deserves another, and one evil turn deserves another. There is a natural cycle, and the weather is beautiful. I once caught a dragon and a phoenix by mistake. The emperor caught me today, which is really instructive. My admiration for the emperor is like a raging river and an uncontrollable Yellow River. -From the Duke of Lushan.

39. A dead mouse hung around his waist, pretending to be hunting. -from "Kung Fu"

40. Don't blame me for being too frank! It's insignificant that you want to take my life. ! ! !

4 1, A: Who are you? B: Jianghu is dangerous. I never leave my name easily. Answer: since you refuse to leave your name, you have to leave a head! I have been lonely all my life. The only person who lives alone is this head. I'm afraid it's not that easy for you to take her away! A: OK! You forced me. I want to dye this sea with your blood. B: I've been wandering all my life, just like a lonely boat in Wang Yang, and I've already put life and death out of my mind.

42. People are born of mothers, and demons are born of mothers. As long as you have a kind heart, you are no longer a demon, but a shemale? -From A Chinese Odyssey

43. Heroes love hamburgers. You are not a hero. Banana heroes love hamburgers. Pure beef is good, which makes Hong Kong people feel better. Eating it is a good baby! Heroes like to eat black Mao Mao. Nerve beef is all wool, which makes Hong Kong people feel delicious. Bubbles appeared after eating. It's really scary to be beaten unconscious and finished in one slap. Give the money! Give the money!

44, one township, two Li * * * Sanjie does not know the four books, five classics and six changes. It's very bold to teach 789 children. Ten rooms and nine poverty still make up 827 yuan, six points, five points and four points, half-hearted and first-class. —— Excerpt from "Tang Bohu Points Chou-heung"

45, elder sister, you are not afraid of others laughing at you, be careful even the dog will faint!

46, smart! How does the laxative bill taste? It takes five seconds to work.

47. Don't look at how others cut your hair. It will make you nervous and popular. You should cooperate! Look at your hairstyle, it doesn't match your face, your figure, your hairstyle, it doesn't match at all! ! Brother Huan! What exactly do you want?

48, ok! He stuffed it in without thinking, and he deserves to be a heart-and-soul person. I love you! ! !

49. As far as wisdom and martial arts are concerned, I have always been a little taller than him, but now there is a Xia Zixian, and I am afraid he is a little taller than me. It is because of you that he is a little taller than me! -Stephen Chow

50. Don't blame me for being too frank! With this, you rotten sweet potatoes and rotten eggs, trying to take my life is too serious! ! ! !