Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - One or two years after graduation, what have you become?
One or two years after graduation, what have you become?
Friday
June 6, 2065438
On this day, I received my diploma and officially graduated!
20 16, 17 June, the graduation certificate was received on this day, and the student career officially ended. I have seen too many parting scenes this day. Less than one-fifth of the students met again after parting on this day, and only two or three met more than five times. This separation is almost impossible to come together. It has been two years since I graduated today. I remember this while I was young. Let's sum up the situation in these two years.
Hebei province animal husbandry superior breed workstation
The day after I got my diploma, that is, in June of 18, I took my luggage to work in Shijiazhuang. At that time, the work unit was the Hebei Provincial Animal Husbandry Fine Variety Workstation, a public institution, and went with a classmate. Why did you choose this job? There are three reasons:
The idea of finding a job after graduation is to find a major. After all, the major you have studied for several years cannot be abandoned, and it meets the professional requirements.
Cattle have been raised at home since childhood. I have a soft spot for cattle and always want to make some achievements in the cattle industry in the future. And its work content is related to cattle.
At that time, the graduation plan was to give myself three years to complete the work of finance, insurance, public institutions and pet doctors.
In this way, I resolutely chose the work of this institution. At that time, in order to choose this job, I quit my job as a chain home. 20 16 years, real estate is very hot. When waiting in line to grab a house, I really missed a wave of opportunities to make a fortune. At that time, I had just graduated and had a deposit of 100 thousand. In fact, I was very insensitive to money. I thought it was easy to make money. I remember discussing with my friends that it would cost 400 thousand to get married, and I even boasted that it would cost 400 thousand! So the livestock breeding workstation only had a salary of 2000 yuan, and there was no requirement for salary at that time.
At that time, it took nine hours from Qinhuangdao to Shijiazhuang by train, so I had a long leisure time and was afraid of being tired. Hard seat is over 90, 180. I discussed it with my classmates and took it. It was the second time to fly. The first time was May of the same year, from Shijiazhuang to Qinhuangdao. That time, I flew for the sake of flying and stayed near the airport for one night to fly. It's good to fly by yourself just after graduation.
/kloc-the unit that arrived in the afternoon of 0/8 did some simple work and started to work formally the next day. The main content of this work is to measure the production performance of dairy cows in the laboratory. This work has been done for a month, and it is arranged to go to work from 8: 30 in the morning to 5: 30 in the afternoon, and rest for two hours at noon. I watched two historical dramas this month, the legendary emperor Zhu Yuanzhang and the Kangxi Dynasty.
A month later, he was transferred to a cattle farm.
The working hours of the cattle farm are from 5 am to 8 pm. If there is a calf at night, get up and help with the midwifery. Calf feeding, ingredients mixing of TMR (Total Mixed Diet), milking, artificial insemination of veterinarians and cattle were all studied in rotation. Legs and arms have been kicked by cows. In a cattle farm, you will often see the breeder stretching his thighs. Yes, he was kicked by a cow again. Cows don't tell you when they pee, so it's common to get wet when milking, and maybe cow shit will still pull on your head.
These are actually nothing. The most terrible thing is brucellosis in cattle. This infectious disease is harmful to the reproductive system, and both humans and animals are sick, which means that it can infect people. Of course, as long as we pay attention to our own protection, the difficulties can be overcome. By 16, 12, this round of work had been finished, and I had learned what I had learned (until now, I found that if the cattle farm really wanted me to be a technician, I could only start with an internship, so I really couldn't do it alone), and I didn't want to live in the cattle farm all my life, so I had plans to leave.
I always wanted to see you, so I sent my resume to your email, and the program group called for an interview the next day. Let me come back from the interview and wait for news. I resigned two days after the first interview, and received a call from the program group two hours after I finished my work, asking me to go for a second interview. The working hours of the workstation for improved livestock breeds are from June, 2065438 18 to June, 3 and 4, 2065438. After graduation, my first job was not long, and my savings did not change, but I still miss my leaders, teachers and colleagues.
Only you
Your second interview should be around 65438+February 10, and almost all the second interviews can pass. The second interview is mainly about video collection and rehearsal. There are more than a dozen people interviewed together this time, all from different places and different occupations. So this acquaintance added a lot of different contents to my circle of friends, and my first understanding of visas also benefited from this short gathering.
My program was recorded at 16 12 15. On the day of recording, I got up at five o'clock, gathered at the Tianjin TV station office at half past six, and then took a bus to a film and television base. It is eight o'clock there.
At nine o'clock sharp, Mr. Wang began to host the recording of Jade on Heroes and Sheng Xitai on Cooking Wine. After the holiday, I chased Sheng Xitai and asked him if he wanted to recruit people back. Then he asked me as he walked, what can you do? I told him that I was a driving school agent at school, and people ignored me. After more than 30 seconds, I was stopped by an assistant in the lounge. I gave my assistant a note with my name and phone number on it. His assistant also gave me his business card. At that time, I asked him if he could add WeChat. He said he could. It's a pity that I didn't add him right away. Consider adding him later. As a result, it was delayed until May of 17, and with the participation of others, people stopped adding me. At this time, you shouldn't wait for someone to call you. You should ask your assistant afterwards to see if there is any chance to enter Hongtai Fund. So don't miss the opportunity. If you miss it, it will be gone. One today is better than two tomorrows, so we must first consider doing what we do now.
At that time, it was not easy to record another program after I finished recording the Catalogue of Holidays. At noon, teachers, employees and job seekers including Tu Lei, Ceng Hua and Yin Feng had a simple lunch. By the way, that box lunch was provided by taoyi Xerox, and it didn't taste very good. Yao Jinbo was recorded after 2 pm. Yao Jinbo's recording ended at four or five o'clock, so it's not easy to record another job.
I was the last one to record a contestant's program after eating the box lunch. I started to get nervous and change my lines. I am the last contestant. When I came on stage, it was past twelve o'clock. Teacher Tu Lei said that everyone insisted, and when the last contestant appeared, I was even more panicked.
I went on stage with a burst of lights, so I was a little lost when there were eight lights left in the first round. Up to now, there are still quite a lot of eight lights. When the lights go out, don't expect everyone to recognize you, just as it is impossible to live only in sunny weather. It will be wet for a while on rainy days. This is a kind of living ability, which is a necessary condition for growth.
Later, I learned that when the boss asked why he was sitting in the front, whether he had hearing problems, and whether he was bragging, he was not criticizing you, but guiding you to tell you the reason for doing so. At that time, Yin Feng gave me the job of assistant manager, and I was very happy. At that time, I was criticized by everyone for changing jobs frequently, and my heart was very uncomfortable. Finally, I forgot that the assistant manager gave it to me. In a fit of pique, I won't choose you.
At that time, it was already past two o'clock in the morning after recording the program of the day. Teacher Tu Lei and several bosses all work from morning till two in the morning. At present, we work at 9 o'clock and get up at 8: 30. It is said that I work eight hours, but the actual working time is less than four hours. Don't envy the boss on stage. If you work one hour more than Yin Feng every day, you are the next Ma Yun. People who are better than you are not terrible, and people who are better than you work harder than you.
I stayed at a friend's house in Beijing for four or five days. It turns out that they have a double bed for two. I went, and there was a double bed for three people. It's really hard for these brothers. I will remember the feelings of others in this life. By the way, the broadcast time of my program is February 20 17 12.
20 16 12 16 got up. The biggest problem I faced was that I didn't have a job. Coupled with the unsatisfactory program effect, I was in a bad mood that day. I suddenly wanted to go home and called home, but I still didn't say I wanted to go home. When you're done, take up your schoolbag and go to a foreign company for an interview. During the interview, the thinking was very unclear and the interview was not smooth. After lunch, I asked for noodles and lost my appetite. I can't eat any more. I ordered a hodgepodge. I ate half and left. I really didn't know what to do at that time. I walk around Beijing with my schoolbag on my back. Later, I called my classmates and decided to go to an internet finance company.
Internet finance company
20 16 12 22, 20 18 April. I don't want to say more about this job, because with the collapse of the company, everything has become a joke. Write some thoughts.
1, the rented house must not be too close to the company, at least 15 minutes away So I won't go home to sleep if I have nothing to do.
2, the first time to complete the task as a host, especially hope to get the praise of the leader, but the leader
I didn't say a word of praise, not even OK. I just said a few things to be changed. At that time, I doubted whether the leaders had a negative attitude towards their performance. Slowly, when you came to me for the second, third and fourth time, I realized that if I didn't know myself clearly, I wouldn't come to you for the second time. Pointing out mistakes and criticizing are all for your better progress. That time, only you, criticism is criticism. Finally, leaving you a lamp is your greatest recognition. Some things are not done for praise, and criticism is by no means equal to negation.
3. At that time, the employment plan was to work in the financial industry for one year, but by the end of 20 17, it was found that three customers had never seen the change and wanted to wait until their money expired. It is also because of my existence that many customers have renewed their deposits, resulting in greater losses. In fact, sometimes waiting does not necessarily bring good results, and it is easy to lose both sides. When you leave, you can always find a reason not to leave, but you leave for a better meeting next time.
After all, I stayed in this company for 16 months, but I lost a lot in economy during that 16 months. This 16 month's income and expenditure is balanced. During my work, I also invested all my assets, that is to say, I didn't earn a penny after graduation, and I also turned the money I had saved into an investment agreement that I might never deal with.
5. Many former leaders failed to catch the company's problems. Maybe they really know something, maybe they don't know anything. Always be vigilant, or you may go in if you are not careful. Many things are so sudden and unexpected.
Traveling alone for the first time.
20 17 12 at 7 o'clock in the morning, the train leaves Tianjin West for Hangzhou East. This is my first time to travel alone, because there is a road under my feet and a dream in my heart. I just need a decision to leave.
The train/kloc-arrives in Hangzhou at 0/2: 30, and the first stop is Dream Town. First lunch by bus, maocai, maocai.
Those days were New Year's Day, and there were few people in the town, but the feeling here was very open, sunny, entrepreneurial, and even the steps were full of inspirational words. There is a saying in the entrance hall: You have dreams, opportunities and struggles, and all beautiful things can be created. I chatted with a person when I was shopping inside, and it was also the first time I knew what a business incubator base was.
After leaving the dream town, I went to the headquarters of Alibaba. As a result, the security guard asked me if I was a worker or a visitor. I said I had a visitor and he asked me if I had an appointment. I said no, he said he wouldn't let me in, so I walked around outside. At that time, I felt that Ali headquarters was bigger than our school. This is not headquarters. This is simply an empire. If I had been here two years ago, I would have come here for an interview when I graduated. This place is still worth coming.
Going to the West Lake to see the fountain at night is not as good as expected, but there are more people!
Then go to the train station to meet a donkey friend (girl, from Shanghai) in Qingyi. I stayed in a youth hostel near the West Lake. It was my first time to stay in a youth hostel. This is a very good experience. I found that these buddies who lived together all came out alone. They all went to many places, some didn't graduate from universities, and some made their own hard seats in Qinghai for 24 hours in their junior year. Their life is very admirable.
The next day, my little sister visited the West Lake, saw the bamboo forest, walked the broken bridge and rode a yellow car across the Qiantang River Bridge. A person's journey is that you never know who you will meet on the road and can only go to your destination with you. Don't worry about being alone, there are all your friends on the road.
On the third day, I went to Yiwu International Commodity Wholesale Market, and two things touched me:
The big brother and big sister who sell things in the shop speak English very well and have a good time communicating with foreigners.
(2) An elder sister who sells eyes has a child less than one year old, who is lying beside the cradle. The family is busy greeting the guests, regardless of him. That day, the child still had a high fever of more than 39 degrees. At noon, he took it to the clinic and got an injection. He put up a fever patch and put it back in the cradle. This kind of work spirit of volunteers is worth learning from everyone. Because someone in Ningbo has been telling me about beef business for nearly a year, this time I want to talk about this problem.
On the fourth day, I went to talk about beef, and left because it was unreliable to pay the quality guarantee. Take a bus from Ningbo to Shanghai, take the Hangzhou Bay Bridge and see the yellow sea water in Hangzhou Bay. When I arrived in Shanghai, I went to the Bund.
On the fifth day, I accidentally took a maglev train on my way to the airport.
A trip to Tibet
On March 30th, 20 18, my colleagues and I went to Tibet. I felt sick as soon as I got off the plane. When I came out, I saw a row of aunts sitting in the aisle and vomiting, so I quickly tried to get out. When waiting for the airport bus outside, a group of people are singing, so it's much better to hum a few words to the rhythm. To tell the truth, altitude sickness is a bit, but it's not that terrible. I wanted to go to Tibet when I was young. When I get old, I may be one of the aunts in that row.
The consumption in Tibet is still very high. In the words of the hotel owner, except Hong Kong, the consumption in Tibet is the highest in the country. The boss exaggerates a little, but it's not that terrible. Food is still affordable. The believers in front of Jokhang Temple are extremely admirable. All the students in Tsinghua who apply that belief spirit to their studies are Tibetans.
I stayed in Lhasa for two days and went to Linzhi, where some students are studying for graduate students, so many things are much more convenient.
Two donkey friends in Linzhi rented a Ford Roadwalker and came to road trip for two days. I went to Basongcuo, Yarlung Zangbo Grand Canyon and saw Nanga Bawa Peak. Sometimes I find everything simple. As long as you take the first step bravely, everything will come naturally.
After coming back from Tibet, I took the Qinghai-Tibet Railway by train from Lhasa to Xining, and accidentally saw the Tibetan antelope and Qinghai Lake.
There are many kinds of steamed buns in Xining, and the sausage noodles in Xining are delicious. You will see many Muslims wearing white hats in Dongguan Mosque in Xining.
Two days after I came back from Tibet, the company was in crisis, and two weeks later, the company officially went bankrupt. As soon as the company revoked my salary for two months, my savings were all gone. The only thing left is the fund qualification certificate passed, and anything can be kidnapped. Only this certificate can't be transferred, so there's nothing to prove.
At the moment when the company was really yellow, it was confused again. I didn't know what to do, so I went to find someone to find a way. Those days coincided with ZTE's problems. I saw a 35-year-old man forced to leave his job four times on the Internet, and I gradually felt that unemployment would become the norm. After several days of consideration, I decided to go to Xiong 'an to witness the development of a city, followed by Xiong 'an.
Xiong' anhang
Xiong' anhang
Pei now.
Xia San Day was held on 1898, when the Year of the Dog was playing sports. At that time, the shade of grass was better than flowers.
From then on, I made up my mind to go to Xiong 'an and vowed not to return it.
A man is a man, and he will do what he says, and will not teach Wanli to be lazy.
Only tomorrow, with the wind, it will soar in Wan Li.
This poem was written when I went to Xiong 'an three times. 1898 The third day of the dog sports year is about the third day of Xia Hou on 20 18. From then on, I made up my mind to go to Xiong 'an, and it is still my determination to get ahead. A person's words must be fruitful, his words are thoughts, his actions are actions, and his achievements are results. Emperor Wanli is the laziest emperor in history. We must take him as a warning and be diligent and pragmatic. Just wait for the wind to rise tomorrow and soar in Wan Li, hoping to improve myself with the development of Xiong 'an.
I didn't find a good job until the fourth time after I arrived in Xiong' an, and I didn't officially work until Xiong' an.
On May 28th, 20 18, Jiao introduced xiong'an new area to the whole world. If the "Shenzhen Speed" in the 1980s and the "Pudong Miracle" in the 1990s witnessed the glorious course of China's rapid development, then xiong'an new area in the new period will become a national model for the high-quality development of China in the future. On this day, I officially joined Rongan Consulting, engaged in industrial and commercial registration, business consulting, business services and other work.
On May 3 1, I went to an unmanned supermarket in JD.COM. After going in, I turned around for a long time and came out empty-handed. Things are not expensive. Why don't I buy it? Because of the economic downturn.
On June 1 day, my classmates borrowed 1000 yuan from me, saying that they would give it to me in a day or two. He also said that he was still transferring 1000 yuan, and then transferred it to him. I transferred 2000 yuan to him when I had 2300 yuan. On the 5th, he hasn't returned it to me. He asked him once and said he would give it to me in a day or two. Finally 15, after eating, the balance was insufficient and the store could not pay with Alipay. Now I'll ask someone to transfer money for me.
He doesn't want to give it? No, maybe he really has no money. It used to be too easy to make money. I don't know how to save it I always thought I could earn it without using it, but I couldn't get it out if I really used it.
These two days are the Dragon Boat Festival, and I took three days off. I wanted to go to Mount Tai and Qinhuangdao, but I gave it up for economic reasons. Is there really no money? I really can't reach that level. Judging from Xiong 'an's current progress, I may only get a salary of 3000 yuan in two years. I have to plan to use it to get through these two years. In addition, during my stay in Xiong 'an these days, I found that all businesses need funds, even if I am an agent for the first time, it will cost hundreds of thousands. Always think of yourself as poor, so as to restrain your laziness. When you can't get up, tell yourself that you can get up when you are still poor.
On June 16, the first day of the Dragon Boat Festival holiday, I finished reading my first book after graduation. Read books when you have no money to travel. There is a unique scenery here, and this beautiful scenery belongs only to you.
I have been working in Xiong 'an for three weeks, and my habits have changed greatly under the strict requirements of the leaders. The most important thing is to learn to summarize your work with notes. Even this 6,000-word article, the first 4,000 words are written in notes. Ok, let's write so much.
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