Party classic joke

1, I couldn't find my mobile phone at my friend's house that day, so I borrowed my friend's girlfriend's mobile phone and dialed it to hear where it was. Enter my number, press the dial key, and my name saved by her will be displayed on the screen: SB3 (then I feel relieved, fortunately I am the third runner-up ...)

I dropped a key when I took out my pocket. I didn't find it at that time, so I went back to find it! There was a couple on the roadside, and the man suddenly said excitedly, Whose is it? Whose is it? I thought it was the key. Say it quickly, mine, mine! It's mine! ! Only later did I know that the woman was pregnant. . . . Pity my face. . . It hurts for a few days!

3. I had a group meeting at school today and suddenly sneezed unexpectedly. I looked up and found my nose on the back of the girl in front. The woman didn't notice, so she secretly wanted to help her wipe it off. Just as she reached out, the girl next to her found it and shouted, "How can you wipe someone's nose?" ! ? "

4. classmate a had a car accident, his foot was broken and he was hospitalized. Several of our classmates who had a good time went to see him. I met his parents as soon as I entered the inpatient department. I hurried to ask about A's illness. As soon as I opened my mouth, I became "Uncle and Aunt, how did A die?" . . . "His parents are blue in the face. .

When I was in college, my classmates had dinner and drank one cup after another, and then there was a reaction in my stomach. . . I threw up when I rushed to the toilet and didn't stand firm. . . . Rustling mouth to go back and sit down, nothing happened. After a while, my friend got up and said he wanted to go to the toilet. I kindly advised,' Don't go, someone just threw up. It's disgusting.'

6. Get on the bus in the afternoon, take out the bus card and bump into the slot.

When I was in middle school, I didn't do my homework well once. I have to redo two words recognized by the teacher in the exercise book. The next morning, I went to buy breakfast, and then I gave my exercise book to my deskmate and asked him to hand it in for me. The most classic place appeared. His old man wrote "Don't do it" after redoing it. Then, it's tragic. ,,,,,,,, What's more tragic, he told me that he was going to graduate soon.

8. I am quite forgetful. I forgot to turn off the gas after taking a shower last night … then my mother said while helping me clean up the mess: so you must not commit a crime, because you will definitely leave evidence of the crime …

9. I bought socks at a stall, one pair at a time, which is cheap. I wanted to buy 30 pairs, but only the same black style was left. The sock seller told me that one color was good, and no one could tell if one was missing ... I thought it was right, so I bought 30 pairs ... I changed them every two days ... and it was almost two months later, and my deskmate couldn't stand it. Me: ....

10, the temperature has dropped recently. I saw a Hercules on the highway, driving a convertible and wearing a motorcycle helmet.

1 1, on a whim, I took my photo as a computer desktop … and then my computer was poisoned …

12, high school talked in a dream together: "Love the princess, love the princess, don't leave me". I petrified ... After a while, "The Great Qing Dynasty just died, I am not reconciled, I am not reconciled" and I collapsed directly. ...

13, tell me about my wife. The day before yesterday, my wife found a financial software online, so I gave her the computer. I watched. My wife skillfully opened Google's address, entered "Baidu" in the search bar, and then opened Baidu in the search results to continue looking for what she wanted. Now, I always tell my wife what I am looking for. Go to Google Baidu ...

14, a classmate's parents said. His parents just started dating. One day when I was shopping, my mother took a fancy to a down jacket, but when she saw the price, she took my father away. His father said, if we can't afford it, can't we try? His father forced his mother into the dressing room. His mother changed, and when his father saw it, he took his mother and ran away, saying, run! While the clerk is away! His mother is wearing that down jacket, and the label is floating outside. She was dragged out by her father and happened to pass a post. Her mother cried with a pillar in her arms. His father turned around and said seriously, run! Are you waiting to be caught? His mother cried even more. Then his father smiled: Hahahaha ... I paid for the clothes when you went in.