Doudizhu Wang Zha’s funny dialogue?

Please accept my question

1. A girl got her boyfriend’s engagement ring the night before, but none of her classmates noticed it, which made her very angry. In the afternoon, when everyone was sitting and chatting, she suddenly stood up and said loudly: "Oh, it's so hot here. I think I'd better take off the ring." 2. The hostess called the maid in front of her and asked her: "You Are you pregnant?" "Yes!" the maid replied. "Thank you for being able to say it. You're not married yet. Don't you feel shy?" the hostess lectured again. "Why should I be shy, hostess, aren't you pregnant yourself?" "But what I am pregnant with is my husband's!" the hostess retorted angrily. "Me too!" the maid agreed happily. 3. When a person rides a motorcycle, he likes to wear his clothes backwards, that is, to buckle them at the back to block the wind. One day he was driving drunk and his car overturned and fell on the side of the road. The police arrived: Policeman A: What a serious car accident. Policeman B: Yes, my head was hit in the back. Policeman A: Well, he’s still breathing. Let’s help him turn his head back. Policeman B: Okay... One or two times, it turned back. Policeman A: Well, I’m not breathing... 4. On a country road with twists and turns, because car accidents often happen, there are often some ghost stories. One night, there was a taxi driver He saw a woman with long hair and a shawl in white waving to him on the side of the road. Because the driver had never seen ghosts, he boldly stopped and let her get in. Along the way, although the driver didn't believe in ghosts, he felt uncomfortable in his heart. , so I often looked at the woman behind me in the rearview mirror. I was driving, and suddenly the driver noticed that the woman was missing! The driver was startled and quickly stepped on the brakes! I saw that the woman's face was covered with blood and her expression was ferocious. The driver's teeth chattered with fear. Suddenly the woman spoke: "Do you know how to drive? I lowered my head to tie my shoelaces and you suddenly braked and I broke my nose..." 5. A patient went to see a doctor. The doctor examined him and said with a frown. : "You are too ill, I'm afraid you won't live long." Patient: "Please tell me how long I can live?" Doctor: "Ten..." The patient asked anxiously: "Ten what? Ten years, ten Months? Ten days?" Doctor: "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five..." 6. Teacher: "Can you tell me the characteristics of some scientists in the 18th century?" Student: "Yes, they They are all dead." 7. Rhinoceros and Mosquito were in love. Mosquito asked her what she did for a living. Mosquito said, "Nurse, injector." Mosquito patted her thigh and said, "It's fate. I work at the Traditional Chinese Medicine Bureau. …” 8. An African is staying in a certain hotel. In the middle of the night, a fire broke out for unknown reasons. Seeing this, the Africans couldn't care less and ran out naked. When the firefighter saw this, he exclaimed: "Oh my God! It's all burnt to ashes, but you can still run so fast!" 9. A person wants to go abroad for inspection, but he must get approval from his boss. So he asked the boss for instructions, and the boss gave him a note that read: "Go ahead." The man thought: "Go ahead = move forward, the boss has approved it." So he started to pack his luggage. A colleague saw him and asked: "What are you doing?" He said: "I am going to go abroad for inspection. The boss approved it and wrote 'Go ahead' to me." The colleague was happy when he saw the note: "Our boss is basically Not approved! You don’t know the English proficiency of our boss, he is talking about it!” 10. The pastor said to the farmer who bought his horse and carriage: “This horse can only understand the language of the church. "Thank God" it ran; "Praise God" it stopped." The farmer was doubtful, so he tried shouting "Thank God", and the horse immediately started galloping, faster and faster. One ran to the edge of the cliff and the frightened farmer remembered the command to stop it, "Praise God." Sure enough, the horse stopped. The farmer who narrowly escaped death let out a long breath: "Thank God..."

I have been fighting for a long time, please accept it