Are there any jokes about couples taking advantage of each other?

My hands are so cold. I don't want to brush Weibo from my pocket ... can Weibo build a voice control system ... just shout "refresh!" It's on my cell phone. ...... "Get off!" ..... "Wrong wrong go home! ! "..." Forward! " ..... is that okay? ...

I saw a father and daughter in the elevator. Dad is holding his happy little daughter. They are carrying baskets full of food and blankets. Dad asked his daughter, "Are you happy to take you on a picnic?" ! The daughter shouted: "Happy! ! "Then they got out of the elevator, walked more than ten meters to the lawn of the community and began to lay blankets. . . . . . This is the most perfunctory father I have ever seen. . . .

The most calm woman I have ever met never sends a text message to her boyfriend and asks her what she thinks. She said: If he is not busy, he will contact me. If he is busy, why should I bother him? If he is not busy and doesn't contact me, why should I contact him?

At the end of the year, there have been many robberies in the corridor recently. Pay attention to safety! People in society are relatively indifferent now. If you want to meet the bad guys in the corridor in the middle of the night, don't shout "help!" Robbery! " Maybe no one will come out to help you. You just shout

"Fire!" The whole building can come out … remember! Remember!

Friend: "Does your girlfriend have many shortcomings?" Me: "As many as stars." Friend: "What about the advantages?" Me: "as small as the sun." Friend: "Then why did you choose her?"

Me: "Because the stars disappeared as soon as the sun came out."

When I was at school, I always felt that my vocabulary was too poor to find the right words to describe happiness. Expectation, sweetness, being together, dependence, attachment, being loved, love, happiness, happiness, cherish, these words seem to be a little worse. After graduation, I finally realized that there is only one word to describe happiness, and that is "money".

As soon as she got into the elevator, a lady came in with a big and strong German shepherd. The dog is very strong, and the lady struggles to loosen the dog chain with both hands. I asked the gentleman, "Hello, what floor is it? Do you want me to press it for you? "

The lady said, "15 floor, thank you." I nodded, pushed the dog to the ground with all my strength, and said to the lady, "Come on, I'll hold it down. You can press15th floor!" "

One day, I asked a beautiful female colleague: Can you explain to me why some people say that diaosi is not incapable of attracting girls, but is good at flying cooked ducks? The female colleague vaguely said, Come to my house tonight and I'll tell you. I was anxious when I heard it: explain it to me first! Female colleague: Well, that's it! ! !

She finally decided to confess to the male god, but the male god told her that he already had someone he liked, and he also said, "Do you want me to show you?" She couldn't bear to refuse and agreed. The male god took out his mobile phone and slowly brought it to her. What she saw was a reflection, on the screen, her own face. She was moved to look at the male god, and the male god looked at her like this and took the mobile phone and looked at it. "Oh, sorry, the screen is black." "……"

At the same time, the tiger and the mole have feelings for the white rabbit. The tiger guards the door of the white rabbit every day and doesn't allow any animals to come near it. The mole quietly dug a tunnel leading to the home of the little white rabbit and quietly put a carrot beside her bed every morning. The little white rabbit knows that the tiger likes her, but she knows that the mole is true love. "Love is possession, love is giving." The white rabbit thought about it and finally married the local porcupine.