Please recommend a joke that you think is funniest! ! !

There are so many things these days that my head is very big. One day, I went to bed at 6: 00 in the morning, got up at 8: 30 and set the alarm clock at 8: 00. I was afraid I wouldn't hear it, so I booked a movie at 8: 30 in the "planning task"-an hour. How could I hear it? Then turn the volume to the maximum and put the notebook next to the pillow. ...

It was half past eight in the blink of an eye. I was awakened by a flash of lightning and thunder, completely sleepy! At first glance, haha, it turned out that Xin Shou chose opium excerpts, and it was a dragon and phoenix fight, so he turned off the computer and got out of bed to freshen up. ...

I stayed in the company the day before yesterday, packed my things at 8 am and went home to sleep. I went downstairs bleary-eyed, and a black car came.

"Where's seven, man?"

"How much does it cost to go back to the customs?"

"25"

"Kill people? The real rent is only 20, 15? "

"Don't pull ..." And roared off. ...

I looked up and came to the station. There happened to be a 753 car driving directly from the company to the door. Quite a few people get up in the morning. Anyway, I got confused when I went up and hung it on the crossbar. After a few stops, there were more and more people. I was squeezed in the middle by three mm's, and I didn't need to hold the railing at all. Besides, I didn't suffer anything, so I gradually entered a shallow sleep state. ...

Suddenly, an earth-shattering sound took off, sweeping away the noise in the car and the room, and also sweeping away my sleepiness! I knew at once that the sky was falling ... my notebook was not closed, it just fell asleep! Now ... 8: 30, porn starts on time! ! ! ! ! ! ! Damn it, XXX! ! ! I feel an arrow coming from my side, and I can only push it around with a thick pig liver face that I have never seen before.

I tried to pick up my bag in a panic, but mm was too crowded to pick it up! ! !

"Oh ~ ~ Eat me ~ ~ ~" ...

I lifted it ... I lifted it. I tried to unzip the zipper, but it got stuck in the lining! ! !

"... a big bird ..."

I pulled ... it opened! I want to open my notebook, but there is no room! ! !

"... (a sucking sound) ..."

I lifted my notebook to my head and finally opened it! At this time, the bag fell to the ground and a lot of information was spilled ... I didn't care! Press the power desperately! !

"ohhhh ~ ~ ~ yeah ~ ~ ~" ...

People live like years, I live like years ... 1 year ... two years ... three years ... one discipline ... cut!

Hoo ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ..............

To tell you the truth, I've been mixed up with Lao Diya for so many years, and it's the first time I saw you in such a hurry ... (I really thought so at that time, and when I finished thinking about it, my mind suddenly froze: how can I use the third person "Ya"? )

I have never been on such a quiet and crowded bus. I think if I stop at this time, there will definitely be no one at the meeting ... only the noise of the engine ... and a P who is obviously holding back but not nearby. ...

I don't know who laughed, and then it spread among the post-80s generation ... The old man was more silent and disdainful ... The middle-aged man drove me affectionately, with four identical characters written on his face: mercy ... printed letters and official documents ... The three mm around him slowly retreated, which actually made me a huge space of two square feet in such a crowded carriage. ...

I didn't get off at the door. I got off four stops early ... to be exact, I got off as soon as the door opened. ...

A black car is coming.

Where's number seven, man?

"Huiguan, 10?"

"I rely on you again! Get on the bus! " ……

There's another one:

In Britain, there is a warning on the wrapping paper of light bulbs-don't put that object in your mouth. It means don't put the light bulb in your mouth.

Who will import this thing? English people are all fools. ...

I tell you, nothing is absolute!

One day I was watching TV at home with an Indian friend, and I talked to him about it. He told me that their primary school textbooks also said that because the light bulb would get stuck after being imported, it could not be taken out under any circumstances. He's pretty sure that's what the book says. ...

But I doubt it. I think the surface of the light bulb is very slippery. If it can be imported, it proves that the mouth is big enough to let it in and out. Theoretically, it can also be taken out. But this Indian idiot said in the book ... and it must be correct. ...

I am annoyed at his ungrateful attitude. I said he was stupid, he said I couldn't speak English and didn't read books ... so we quarreled. ...

I came home in a rage, picked up an ordinary light bulb and lay in bed thinking about it. I always thought I was right, thinking about the ignorance of this Indian friend, and in the spirit of a scientist-make bold assumptions and carefully verify. I decided to prove it. Look at that. Of course, I also took safety measures ... and bought a vegetable oil to go home. If the card is stuck and released, I can't believe it won't slide out!

Everything is ready, without saying that it takes 1 second to put the light bulb in your mouth ... but it's very simple ... so it's no problem to take it out.

I wish this Indian idiot a look at the wisdom and courage of my people in China! Unlike you, a bookworm, I thought China would beat the Indians ... I smiled from the bottom of my heart ... haha!

So I easily pulled down the light bulb. ......................

All right! I will work harder. .....................

All right. I will open my mouth wider. .........................

No, I'll open my mouth as wide as possible and work harder (be careful not to break the light) ........................

It's really stuck inside. .........................

Fortunately, there is a vegetable oil. .........................

(30 minutes later) I poured 3/4 sticks of oil and half of it into my stomach, but the light bulb still didn't move. ........................

At this time, I had to call the police for help. ......................

Just in the middle of my reading, I remembered that there was a light bulb in my mouth. How can ................... talk?

Now I have to ask my neighbor for help. I wrote a note to find the old woman next door. As soon as she saw me, she shouted for help. ....................

I immediately showed her my note: Please call a taxi for me and tell the driver to take me to the hospital. Please call a taxi for me and tell the driver to take me to the hospital. )

She watched it for about 1.75 minutes and then laughed loudly. ..........................

15 minutes later, the taxi came. The driver smiled when he saw me.

He kept asking me why I did it in the taxi ... (... how should I answer him? ) I always said my mouth was too small. If it is his mouth, there will be no problem. ...

I saw his mouth is really big ... but I really want to tell him not to try anyway ... but I can't open it!

I looked at his rearview mirror. There seems to be a goldfish in my mouth. ...

In the hospital, I was scolded by the nurses for more than ten minutes, saying that I wasted their time. I was asked to wait in line for a long time ... I stayed in the crowd for 2.5 hours ... 2.5 hours. ...

Those people who were in great pain seemed to have no pain when they saw me ... everyone secretly laughed. ..

I feel that I still have some role. ...

The doctor put cotton on both sides of my mouth, then broke the light bulb ... took it out one by one ... my mouth was swollen ... Finally, he told me not to try again and told others about my experience. ...

I told him I wouldn't.

When I left the hospital, I was thinking that there must be no stupid creature like me on this earth.

When I opened the door, a man came face to face. That was a taxi driver.

...........................

...........................

He has a light bulb in his mouth.