Selected children's funny jokes

At the gate of a primary school, Xiaogang pulls Xiaohong.

Xiaogang said to Xiaohong, "You got me pregnant, and you should be responsible!" " "

Xiaohong exclaimed, "Kissing has nothing to do with having children?"

Xiao Gang: "Of course! Go back and ask if you don't believe me.

Mom and dad are their own! "

Step 2 eat fish and chicken

Child: "Dad, Xiaohua's father swims very well. Why not? "

Dad: "Xiaohua's father always eats fish, so he can swim." Dad, I don't often eat fish. How can I swim? "

Child: "But, Dad, you always eat chicken. Can you lay eggs? "

3. Enlightenment from Napoleon

In class, the history teacher was talking about Napoleon when he suddenly saw some students dozing off. The teacher couldn't help feeling: "Dear students, Napoleon only slept for three hours every day. What inspiration did you get from it? "

The student replied: "Not enough sleep!"

4. Mom ate me.

My four-year-old daughter is always curious about this and that. She once pestered me to ask where she came from. But I couldn't twist it, so I lifted my clothes to show her the scar on my stomach by caesarean section. I thought I could educate her and let her know that it is not easy to be a mother, so I said, "You did this." The daughter is puzzled: "I didn't." "This is where you asked the doctor to take it out." I said, my daughter was frightened: "In your belly?" I said, "Yes." My daughter burst into tears. "Mom is a monster, mom is a monster, and she ate me!" "Crying and running to find her father!

5. Dad's homework

After class, the teacher said to Xiaoming, "Let your grandfather come to school."

Xiao Ming asked the teacher, "Teacher, don't you need to call me Dad?"

Teacher: "No, Xiao Ming, just call you grandpa. I want to tell him that his son answered many questions wrong in your homework. "

6. Who is the most obedient

A father with five children brought a toy home. He called the children and asked them who had the most right to get the toy.

"Who is the most obedient, never talks back to his mother and does everything well?"

After a silence, the children said in unison, "Dad, you can only play by yourself."

7. ants

As soon as a first-grade child returned to the classroom, he told the teacher, "Teacher, there are many ants in the toilet!" " "

The female teacher nodded and suddenly thought that she had taught the word ant in English at the beginning of school. To see if the children remembered it, she asked, "What did the ant say?"

The child looked blank and answered after a while: "Ant, he, he didn't speak!" " "

Step 8 propose marriage

Xiao Fang, a sophomore, is very cute and is often pestered by the boys in her class. One day, Xiao Fang came home and said to his mother, "Mom, Xiao Qiang proposed to me today and asked me to marry him ..." Mom casually asked, "Does he have a regular job?" Xiao Fang thought about it and said that he was responsible for cleaning the blackboard in our class. "

9, underestimated the son

Colleague Dapeng leads her daughter to play at home.

This is the first time I have met his daughter. I didn't expect to grow so big. I heard that she is in the second grade of primary school.

The little girl is very polite and greets as soon as she comes in. At this point, my son is far from it. That boy has a great personality. Even if he is mobilized, he may not scream.

The little girl is cute, too, and behaves like a grown-up. To tell the truth, I fell in love with her at once.

In the evening, I took the initiative to ask my son, "Look, the little girl who came here today is about your age. What do you think of her? " In fact, I mainly want to encourage my son to learn from others through his impression of her.

As a result, my son actually asked, "Do you want me to fall in love with her?"

10, I want to be a teacher when I grow up.

My family is four and a half years old. Usually timid, it is not good to talk to strangers. But if you don't sing, it will be a blockbuster.

During the Spring Festival, my absent uncles and aunts often come to see me. She doodles and draws on the table alone, and looks very handsome. Aunt asked, "What are you drawing, Youyou (daughter's real name)?"

The daughter was silent.

"Well, that's nice. Do you want to be a painter when you grow up? "

Still silent.

"Oh, my aunt guessed wrong. Tell her what she wants to be when she grows up? "

The strangeness faded away, raised his head and said innocently, "I want to be a teacher!" " "

"Oh, yes, tell my aunt again. What kind of teacher do you want to be? "

The daughter looked surprised: "My name is Wang. Of course, I am a teacher. I don't know how simple it is? "

1 1, teaching

There is a clever student in the third grade of primary school, but it is difficult for him to settle down and listen to the class.

One day, he said to his teacher, "I know enough." There is no need to continue studying. "

Teacher: "Oh, really? You only read until the third grade. What are you going to do? "

Student: "Teaching the second grade."

Finishing: zhl20 16 12