What's the sneer?

Five yuan was kidnapped by a criminal gang. Call the hundred-dollar bill: "Hello! Your son is here, so if you don't want us to kill him, trade yourself for him! " The hundred-dollar bill thought for a moment and said, "Tear it, you won't even have five dollars! 2. A man was starving in the desert when he found the magic lamp. Magic lamp: "I can only realize your one wish. Come on, I'm in a hurry. "Man:" I want a wife ... "The magic lamp immediately conjured up a beautiful woman, and then disdained to say:" I'm starving and covet beauty! Pathetic! "Say that finish and disappeared. Man: "... bread. 3. The earthworm family was bored this day, so the little earthworm cut himself into two pieces to play badminton. Mother earthworm thought this method was good, so she cut herself into four pieces to play mahjong. Father earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat. Mother earthworm cried and said, "Why are you so stupid? You'll die if you cut it so badly! " Father Earthworm said weakly, "... I suddenly want to play football. 5. The tortoise and the hare race ... The hare quickly ran to the front ... The tortoise saw a snail crawling very slowly ... and said to him: Come up, I'll carry you ... Then ... the snail came up ... After a while ... The tortoise saw an ant again .. and said to him: Come up, too ... So the ant came up. When the ant came up, he saw the snail on it and said "Hello" to him. Do you know what the snail said? Snail said: hurry up, this turtle is so fast .. 6. A man and a woman are having dinner. The girl keeps asking the boy: Do you love me? The boy looked at the girl and went on eating dinner. The girl was very angry and asked again: Do you love me? The boy finally said: Love girls and asked: Then how do you prove it? Suddenly, the boy took out thirty yuan from his pocket and asked the girl, Do you have ten yuan? The girl gave ten yuan to the boy ... The boy put forty yuan on the table for a while ... The girl was very angry and asked the boy: Do you want to prove that you love me? The boy said: I have proved it! ! ! Forty is in front of you! 7. One day, I visited a snack street and found a shop selling egg towers, each of which looked very delicious. I wanted to buy one and try it. I asked the clerk, "Excuse me, is this for sale alone?" The clerk said, "No, it's Japanese." One day, a family caught fire, and both parents escaped, leaving only one son inside. Mom nervously shouted outside the house: "Son ... what are you doing ... you won't come out after the fire ..." The son replied: "I'm wearing socks ..." Mom said again, "What socks are you wearing after the fire ..." After five minutes, the son hasn't come out ... Mom shouted nervously again, "Son! Come out quickly ~ it's all on fire, and I'm still in it ... "The son said," I'm taking off my socks ... 9. A man went fishing by the river and wore a leaf first ~ for a long time, no fish took the bait, and he changed a piece of bread ~ for a long time, no fish took the bait ~ so he had to change earthworms ~ for a long time, no fish took the bait ~ ~ In his anger, he took out 1rmb and fell into the water to curse: Buy it yourself! ! ! 1. A German, a Frenchman and a Japanese are going to work in the mine. The boss is an American. He said to the Germans, "You have a good physique and you are in charge of coolies. He said to the French, "You said you were an engineer and you were in charge of the mining plan. To the Japanese, he said, "You are very thin. You are in charge of supplies. Then every other week, they started to work. A few days later, the Germans and the French found that the Japanese had disappeared. After searching for a long time, they decided to go back to work first. When the Germans started working, the Japanese suddenly jumped out and shouted, "Surprise! "I can't see things too far away," the patient said to the ophthalmologist. Please come with me, "the doctor took the patient outside and pointed to the sun in the sky." What do you think that is? ""the sun. "The patient replied." Then how far do you want to see! 12. One day the animals smelled a terrible smell in front of Guan Gong Temple. The snake said, "I am too young to fart so smelly. It must be a cow. "The cow said," I eat grass and I won't fart so smelly. "The pig said," People who fart will blush. Suddenly Guan Gong rushed out, knocked the pig away and said, "How many times have I said, I was born blushing. 」