A joke caused by a typo

A patient went to the hospital for examination because of anal discomfort.

When this person was writing about his illness, he wrote "Anal Speech" about anal inflammation.

After the doctor read it, he wrote two big words on the list: nonsense.

Later, because the doctor didn't treat him, the patient died a month later.

(2)

The instructors in our class are excellent in all aspects of military training, but they don't want to speak Mandarin. One day, the instructor shouted, "One group shoots, the other group drops bombs. I'll show you. " But what we heard was: "One group kills chickens, the other steals eggs, and I will cook porridge for you."

(3)

Xiao Ming's composition wrote:

Today, I opened the door and saw a lot of shit. I was shocked.

Mom ate a catty when she saw it.

Dad ate a catty when he saw it.

My brother ate a kilo when he saw it.

Teacher's comment: It's really big, weighing 4 kg.

(4)

A little girl wrote in her diary: My stomach (gallbladder) is very small when I am at home. Since I came here, with the help of my male classmates, my stomach (gallbladder) has become bigger day by day.

The son wrote a letter to his mother, which said, "Mom, I'm having a good time here. But there is no life, and there is nothing to buy nearby. Please send me your family's life. " Her mother was frightened and went to see her son at once. It turned out that her son wrote "umbrella" as "fate".

In his early years, when he was a soldier, he had to pass the political examination. People with innocent family background could not pass the examination.

A man wrote on the political review form: My father is a greedy farmer (poor), who grew up from snack candy (chaff) and made a living by playing firewood all day.

He wrote in his diary, "The monitor instructed us to recite shit. Everyone worked hard and no one dared to drink (rest)." Later, we were really tired, so we secretly drank behind the monitor's back. "

Chinese character joke

Xiao Wang, who just bought an Alto, took a test drive in the quiet Third Ring Road in the middle of the night. He was driving happily when a big Ben overtook him from behind. When he wanted to overtake, he drove the big Ben guy away, leaned out and shouted at Xiao Wang, "Dude, have you ever driven Big Ben?" Then I drove away, and it took Xiao Wang a long time to recover and run away. What's the big deal? Ah, bah. After a while, Xiao Wang forgot about it and drove around happily. When Big Ben came from behind again, he was very happy, as if he were taking a car. When overtaking, the guy who opened Big Ben shouted at Xiao Wang again: "Dude, you opened Big Ben!" " "This angered Xiao Wang and tried to catch up, but he couldn't. Dry gas can't help it.

It didn't go far, little Wang Le. The bus crashed into the guardrail. Haha, Xiao Wang also stopped the car. He wants to see the bear look of that arrogant guy. He came to the car and saw that the guy was fine and not seriously injured. Seeing him coming, he opened his mouth and said, "Dude, are you running away?" . Xiao Wang was almost out of breath, but this guy said below that Xiao Wang was really out of breath. He said, "Dude, have you ever driven a big run?" Where are the brakes? "

Wo Chun (I am stupid)

Lying in the plum blossom and smelling the flowers, (I have no culture),

Lying on a stone and depicting the sky.

The fish kisses Shi Shui, (asking who I am),

Lie on the stone and answer Chun Lv. I am a big donkey.

One day I went to a restaurant to eat jiaozi with a foreign friend.

The beautiful waitress came to ask. Friends always miss any opportunity to practice Chinese and say, "How much is your sleep?" ?

The young lady was very embarrassed, so she was very angry. I quickly explained that he was asking jiaozi how much.

.....

Jiaozi served it, and I asked him if he wanted mustard.

He invited another young lady. Is there a "program"?

The young lady said brightly, "Yes, what program do you want?"

"It's yellow ..."

When a leader of Chaoshan area warmly received guests from other provinces on the boat, he said seriously, "It's a big wave today, so take some birth control pills."

Dizzy "), lest everyone be dizzy. "Everyone blushed. Then, the leader warmly greeted everyone: "Come, come. Please come to the bedside (bow) and sit on the bedside (bow) to see your wife.

(Suburb), the more you look, the better you look!

Yunnan province

Two Yunnan people went to Beijing to play. They heard that Beijing roast duck is very famous and decided to eat it. As soon as they sat down, one of them said to the waiter, "Go and dump those two roast ducks.

Dump! "After waiting for a while, they saw the waiter waving a roast duck in front of them and left. One of them couldn't wait, so he called the waiter to ask.

Why not serve them roast duck? The waiter said, "Didn't you ask me to bring a roast duck?"

Note: ("Shuai Shuai" means "eat" in Yunnan dialect)

Henan Province

Lao Dong, a native of Henan, came to the south for breakfast. As soon as I entered the door, I asked, "Miss, how much is it to sleep (bowl) in jiaozi for one night?" The waiter was very unhappy and said, "No, only.

Steamed bread. "Old Dong said," Oh, just touch it. " The waiter was so angry that he scolded, "rogue! Old Dong was surprised: "Sixty cents?" It's too cheap! "

Sichuan Province

A soldier was captured, and the officer promised to grant him three wishes before killing him.

The soldier said I want to have a word with my horse. The enemy agreed.

The next day, the horse came back and brought back a beautiful woman. Soldiers spend the night with women.

The police officer said there were two more wishes. The soldier said I want to have a word with my horse. The enemy agreed.

The next day, the horse came back and brought back a beautiful woman. The soldier spent another night with the beautiful woman.

The officer said you had one last wish. The soldier still said I wanted to talk to my horse.

The officer was very surprised and went to the stable to eavesdrop. He saw the soldier holding the horse's ear and shouted, "I told you to take a woman (brigade), not a woman!" "

Guangxi

Some people in Guangxi speak Mandarin with inaccurate pronunciation and often with obvious local accent! Common reading: empty becomes public, mouth becomes dog, wind becomes crazy, which leads to the following

joke

When friends are far away, they usually eat a plate of snails for dinner. The host picked up one and said, man! He abandoned it, picked up the other one and said, it's a male again! The mouth is not short.

Goo: It's a man again! My friend was surprised and thought: awesome! Guangxi people are too powerful! Even the male and female snails can see it!

I also invited my friends to dinner. People in Guangxi have a little cold and find themselves sitting under the air outlet of the air conditioner. They said, I have a cold and can't sit next to a mad dog. Change seats after that, my friend.

No, what do you mean? I am a mad dog.

A reporter interviewed the personnel bureau by telephone.

But accidentally hit the grain bureau.

The reporter asked: "Is this the Personnel Bureau?"

One person replied, "No."

The reporter was deaf and asked again.

The man said loudly: "I am not from the Personnel Bureau, I am from the Grain Bureau!" " "

Because I was too nervous, I said, "I'm not a person, I'm a pig, and my mother is a pig!" "