What humorous descriptions of characters are there in classical Chinese?

Kong Wenju has two sons, the eldest is six years old and the youngest is five years old. Father sleeps during the day, and the younger one steals wine by the bed. The eldest son said, "Why don't you worship?" Answer: "steal, you have to salute!" 」

Speaking of stealing, Kong Rong has two sons who stole Kong Rong's wine when he was five or six years old. Because there is an ancient saying that if the elders give wine to drink and salute, it is called "wine becomes a gift." So the eldest son said, why don't you salute? The youngest son scoffed. Why talk about formalism?

Liu Ling was ill and thirsty, so she asked his wife for a drink. The woman donated wine and destroyed the utensil, sobbing, "You drank too much. If you are not a doctor, you should stop it! " Ling said, "Very good. I can't help it. I hope ghosts and gods swear to break their ears! There can be wine and meat. " The woman said, "I respect my life." For the sake of wine and meat before God, please swear. Ling knelt down and wished, "My real name, in the name of wine, drank a cup of welcome and fought five wars before I got rid of my illness. Be careful not to listen to women. " Then he introduced wine into the meat and immediately got drunk.

When it comes to drinking, I can't help mentioning Liu Ling. Liu Ling was so addicted to alcohol that he asked his wife for a drink. My wife poured the wine, smashed the bottle, and cried and begged him that you had drunk too much, which is not the way to exercise. You must give up drinking. Liu Ling said, ok, ok, I can't quit myself. I can only swear in front of the gods. Prepare wine and meat to sacrifice to the gods. As a result, Liu Ling pulled a circle of lights in front of the gods and wiped all the wine and meat offered to them.

Liu Lingheng drank too much, or stripped naked in the house, and was laughed at by everyone. Ling said, "I take heaven and earth as my building and my room as my clothing. Why did you come into my house? 」

If you drink too much, you will make trouble. You are an alcoholic. Liu Ling is like this. When he is drunk, he sometimes runs around the house naked. When someone laughed at him, he said, Why am I naked? Heaven and earth are my house, and the room is my clothes and pants ... huh? What are you doing in my pants?

Yu Zhong and Zhong Hui have a bad reputation. On the 13th, Wei Wendi heard about it and said to his father Zhong You, "You can send your second son." So I saw it. Jade's face was covered with sweat, and the emperor said, "Why is your face covered with sweat?" Yu said to him, "When you panic, you sweat." Question and answer session: "Why don't you sweat?" Yes, "I shudder, I dare not sweat." 」

There are arrogant people and cautious people. When he saw the Zhong brothers, one was sweating and the other was not, he asked them why. Yu Zhong said, "I was scared and sweaty in the war." The clock will say, "You are trembling, and you dare not sweat. 」

When Cai Situ crossed the river, he was overjoyed and said, "A crab has eight legs. You should take two pliers." To cook it. You know it's not a crab when you vomit. Later, he told Xie Renzu about it, and Xie Yue said, "You are not familiar with your education, and you were almost persuaded to die. 」

When Cai Mo crossed the river, he was very happy to see an animal named Peng Heng. He said that crabs have eight feet and two claws. Go and cook them. As a result, I had diarrhea after eating it, only to know that it was not a crab. Later, Xie Renzu joked that you didn't study Erya well and almost died because of "persuasion".

On July 7th, Long Hao spent a day in Japan and China. People ask why? Answer: "I print books. 」

Of course, showing off your knowledge is so dazzling, and that's probably how the word Sun came from.

Wang Dunchu, a master, went to the toilet. He covered his nose when he saw a lacquer box full of dried dates. Wang said that the toilet was also full of fruit and the food was finished. Since it is a return, the maid holds a gold bath plate with water and a glass bowl with bath beans. Because it is poured into water to drink, it is called dry rice. A group of maids all closed their mouths and laughed.

When we read The Red Chamber, we always hear people praise Sister Lin. As soon as I entered Jia's house, I knew how others did things and didn't invite people to laugh. Maybe everyone's understanding is not so profound.

Wang Dungang, the powerful minister, made such a joke when he married the princess. People and nobles go to the toilet, afraid of stink, and plug their nostrils with dates. Wang Dun doesn't know, but he is still happy. He had fruit to eat in the toilet, so he ate all the dates. When she came out, the maid asked him to wash his hands with a golden bath tray filled with water and a glass bowl filled with bath beans. This kind of bath bean is just like the soap we use today, but Wang Dun has never seen it. He thought it was food, but he poured it into the water and ate it with stirring. He thought it was dry food.