Kneel down and beg for the text of Cross Talk "Training Disciples""

Training disciples

Where is A performing here?

B Ah, let’s perform here.

A I heard that crosstalk actors are knowledgeable?

B No, no. Crosstalk actors have never studied for a few days in the past. They mostly communicate their feelings orally and only have a little knowledge of memorizing questions.

A Well, you and I are far behind. Compared with me, you are just a drop in the bucket.

B We don’t have any left either. So you are knowledgeable?

A Of course. I am omniscient and omniscient. There is nothing I don’t know about ancient and modern times, Chinese and foreign schools of thought, literature, history, medicine and horoscopes.

B I see, you don’t know the same thing!

A What don’t I know?

B You don’t know “shabby”!

A You praise me.

B, why are you praising me! You stare and talk nonsense, what knowledge do you have?

A I tell you that you don’t understand my knowledge. Your education is too low, your knowledge is too little, your experience is too shallow, and your level is too low. You didn't understand what I said, which not only wasted my precious time, but also made you embarrassed and dumbfounded in public. Talking about knowledge with you is not like playing the piano to an ox?

B What you said is so damaging! Today, I have to learn a lot about your knowledge.

A If you really plan to ask for advice, there is no need for me to teach you my studies in person, it is enough for my little apprentice to give you some pointers!

B Do you still have an apprentice?

A Nonsense, I think back then Confucius and Confucius had three thousand disciples, not to mention me.

B I am?

A Do you understand what I mean?

B I understand.

A What is I?

B is the one who is shot!

A Hey, I am me.

B Yes, you are the one who will be killed!

A How do you say this?

B Confucius had three thousand disciples, the most outstanding of whom were the seventy-two great sages.

A. Confucius’s disciples were all “xian” (virtuous) people, but my disciples are not so salty.

B What’s wrong?

A It has just been marinated for a few days.

B Duck eggs!

A I have a most proud apprentice who is young and capable. I have taught him all my knowledge.

B What abilities do you have as an apprentice?

A I am a disciple who knows astronomy, observes geography, and understands people and people. Understand the yin and yang, know the Eight Diagrams, know the six lines, know the Dunjia, strategize, win a victory thousands of miles away, and decide the three parts of the world before leaving the hut.

B Is this your apprentice?

A This is Zhuge Liang.

B Why are you mentioning Zhuge Liang?

A If I don’t mention Zhuge Liang, my apprentice’s ability will not be shown.

B What abilities does your apprentice have?

A My apprentice is a walking horse, observing monuments, observing flocks of sheep, asking questions and answering ten questions, and answering questions fluently. He knows everything and knows everything. He is truly an elf of all things and a hero of mankind!

B I don’t think he is a hero of mankind!

A He is——

B A garlic from the vegetable market.

A Whoops, garlic!

B: Let’s do this. If your apprentice is really capable, please invite him out and I’ll meet him.

A Oh, do you plan to learn some skills and gain some knowledge from my apprentice?

B Ah, please bring him out and I’ll talk to him.

A Okay then. (Looking around) Hey, you were slapping me here just now!

B, you are not very capable in this way of playing!

A (shouting to the side curtain) Awkward! awkward! ......

B You wait. Who are you looking for?

A, look for my apprentice.

B Your apprentice’s name is...

A Awkward.

B Oh, I’m looking for trouble!

A is awkward, awkward——

(C responds from the side screen: "Hey——" he made a long sound and fell to the ground, his pen straight and his eyes dull. Front, back, left, right, four bows)

B, what is your apprentice doing?

A This is master, I teach well, and my apprentice is polite in dealing with others.

B What was that just now...

A performed a Western gift imported from a foreign country.

B This is not a Western gift!

A Look at this...

B The calf worships in all directions.

A This is because you are ignorant and ignorant. While my apprentice is free now, if you have any difficult questions, you can quickly ask him for advice. Later my apprentice goes to slap him, and you won't be able to find him anywhere.

B I have to hurry up. (Looks at C carefully) How can he be learned with this appearance?

A People should not be judged by their appearance. You look pretty good, why didn't you export it for the panda?

B Hey, should I ask him?

A Ask.

B I always see this kid throwing away his hair.

A What a great knowledge.

B (To himself) Let me ask something simple first. (To C) Student, are you here?

C is here.

B Hey, don’t tell me it’s good, it’s alive.

A Nonsense, you should have died long ago.

B Who did you come with?

C came with my master.

A Listen, the voice is loud.

B What are you doing here?

C said cross talk is coming.

A Be concise and concise.

B How many paragraphs can you know?

C knows three stages.

A The ambition is not the age.

B (To himself) This time, I will tell him about the article and ask him questions in Wenhua.

(To C) Student, are you noble?

C It’s time to eat.

A speaks crisply and quickly.

B Ah! Student, am I asking you about Geng?

C ate fried noodles with fried sauce.

A Clean and tidy.

B (to A) I said, I missed it!

A What?

B is missing.

A Oh, missed it? Go to the real estate bureau!

B Is the house leaking?

A What is missing?

B Your apprentice asked me to let you know.

A (shakes head) No, no...

B (holds A's head) Don't shake, don't shake!

A What?

B Be careful not to scatter Huang'er.

A I am an egg!

B Don’t be upset, your apprentice really let me miss the question.

A What did you ask?

B I asked him, "Are you here?"

A How did he answer?

B He said "coming".

A Yes, we are here as soon as we come, can we be like you, staring and telling lies!

B I asked him "Who did he come with?" and he said "He came with my master."

A is right. He is the apprentice and I am the master. Of course, the one who comes with me comes with his master. Can you say that he came with his wife and you?

B Hey. I asked him, "Why are you here?" He said, "I'm talking about cross talk." He said, "I'm talking about cross talk."

A We originally said that cross talk is here, who looks like you!

B What’s wrong with me?

A Speculation is here.

B Me! I asked him how many dans he knew, and he said he knew three dans.

A This is childish modesty. The traditional jokes will be told in three paragraphs, but the new ones are not included. Who is like you? You don’t brag when you have a camel!

B I asked him a few more questions at the end.

It doesn’t matter how many times A asks.

B I asked him, "Is Geng your respecter?"

A How did he answer?

B He said "it's time to eat."

A Yes, what time is it and you still haven’t eaten? We have a regular diet and daily routine, and we eat when the time comes.

B What! I asked him if he was expensive, and he said, "I ate noodles with fried sauce." Is this correct?

A Yes, what we just had was noodles with fried sauce. Let me tell you, we teach our disciples to eat well, and pies and dumplings are commonplace. This meal was almost the same: mushroom meat stew, fine powder noodles. It's not like your disciples who are reluctant to give delicious food and feed them bean cakes every time.

B Who is it! This "noble Geng" means "eating"? This "noble Geng" means "eating noodles with fried sauce"? Well, right?

A What, what? "It's time to eat" means "it's time to eat"? This "noble Geng" means "eating noodles with fried sauce"? Is this all true? With a majestic body of seven feet, he blurts out "noble Geng" and tells people that he has "eat" and "eat fried noodles with fried sauce". How can he live in this world! Today you must explain to me clearly why you shamelessly refer to "Gui Geng Le" as "eating" or "eating fried noodles with fried sauce"? explain!

B What did I say! Did you understand that I didn't say what I just said?

A Isn’t that what you said?

B Oh, put it on me! I said, that was not what I said just now.

A Who said that?

B Your apprentice said it.

A (shaking his head) No, no...

B is getting excited again. That's right, your apprentice said that.

A Is this really what my apprentice said?

B That’s absolutely right.

A Let me ask.

B Ask.

A (to C) Are you here?

C is here.

A (to B) Right?

B Ask down.

Who did A come with?

C came with you.

A Hey, children talk a lot and people find it strange. You just asked him, what did he say?

B "Come with my master."

A What should I ask him?

B "I came with you."

A Look, you are polite when you speak. You are good and you are bad, you are old and you are young. Not like you.

B What’s wrong with me?

A No big or small.

B You ask further.

A What are you doing here?

B said cross talk is coming.

How many paragraphs can A. speak?

B knows three sections.

A (to B) This is not counting the new ones.

B Ask down below!

A Is there any more below?

B Yes, ask.

A What should I ask next?

B asked him whether Geng was noble.

A Is there such a sentence?

B Nonsense, the key is this sentence!

A (looks at C carefully) Disciple, disciple, before master asks you, I want to give you a few words. It's not easy for us men to come here. You have to think this sentence over and over again before you answer it maturely. This sentence is of great significance!

What does B have to do with it?

A It is related to the success or failure of our master and apprentice, the honor, disgrace, sorrow and joy; it is related to whether our men can eat steamed buns and dumplings, or whether they can eat steamed buns and roasted sweet potatoes in the future!

B Okay.

A. You must be cautious, meticulous, comprehensive and thoughtful, and think carefully before answering.

B Ask quickly.

A Master, let me ask you, are you noble?

C It’s time to eat.

B Hey.

A: Don't be busy, don't be busy. My apprentice has eaten well these past two days. He is very angry and his ears are a bit heavy, so he can't hear clearly. Let me ask your disciple: Are you noble?

C ate fried noodles with fried sauce.

B Okay.

A (angrily) Disciple, disciple, you have let down all your master’s hard work.

Why don't you think twice before speaking? If you blurt out something without thinking twice, it will make people laugh. It is really ridiculous. Master, I just praised you like "wu di wudi", but you threw me, master, into "pah, pah, pah, pah". I said, where have all your usual abilities gone?

B What ability does he have!

A, I want to hit you today——

B, then hit him!

A I can’t beat you yet.

B Look at this ability.

A. Master, I have the intention to scold you——

B. Then scold him a few words.

A I was afraid you would scold me!

B How can we educate people like this?

A If I don’t hit you or scold you, it’s hard for me to let go of my bad temper.

B What should we do?

A. Go to the "Sanhesheng Baozi Shop" in the North Market later. I will buy you 500 buns to suffocate you!

B What kind of criminal law is this!

A It’s a pity that you haven’t remembered a single word of the skills that Master usually teaches you. In fact, speaking of it, any sentence you come up with is deeper than the sentence "Gui Geng"? So irritating!

B This kid is so annoying.

A You see, it’s good for us to do this. I mean, we should still teach our children the skills that should be taught to them, and we can’t let you make fun of them.

B Then how can it be done?

A (to C) Disciple, you answered that sentence incorrectly just now. Remember, in the future, if someone asks you: "I'm sorry," you must never say anything to them: "It's time to eat, let's eat noodles with fried sauce." This is not right.

B That’s right.

A If someone asks you again in the future: "Student, are you married?" That means they are asking you if you are married.

B Let’s go! Go up to one side and stand still (to A). What's going on here? I said, why is this child so stupid? He has been making trouble for a long time, and he asked you to teach him. I said, what do you usually teach your children?

A I usually water my children with boiling water.

B Well, I almost killed the child. Didn’t you delay such a good child? Well, after bragging for a long time, you still don’t understand Gui Geng’s words, “Married or not”, is that true? If you are a teacher and a role model, but you are full of gluttons, won’t you let others’ disciples suffer! "The Master said: To know is to know, and to know is to know. If you don't worry about what others know, you don't know yourself. If you worry about not knowing others, you can know by asking for it."

A Where do you know so much!

B Listen carefully, I’m lucky you met me today. If you had met anyone else, your teeth would have laughed out loud. Don't be so playful!

A Yes, yes.

B (turns to C) You kid is so annoying! I don’t have the talent to learn from anyone, but I want to learn from him. What can he do?

A What do you know?

B Cut the nonsense. I’m telling you, listen carefully, I hope you will be able to be more patient when you meet me today. I am not conservative at all, so today I want you to learn some real stuff. Student, remember, Gui Geng’s words are not asking you whether you have eaten, nor what kind of fried noodles you are eating, nor are you asking “if you are married,” as your bastard master said. None of this is right. I will tell you the real correct answer today. This "Gui Geng" is asking you "Is your athlete's foot okay?"

A Let’s play! Do you understand what I said?

B I... am also so-so.

A Well, there are three assholes all over the place. Do you think we really don’t understand? That's just to tease you. Where are you looking at people? As the saying goes: There is a strong hand among the strong, and there are capable people behind the capable people. Isn’t there 3,600 pus (energy) plugs behind that capable person?

B Hey.

A. Look at the one who gave you to me. If I didn’t have the ability, would I dare to accept a disciple? From now on, be more humble when encountering problems. If three people walk together, there must be one who is my teacher. How thick are the gold bricks and how thin are the jade tiles? When you treat others with courtesy, you must ask for something. Be humble, I can't be shorter than you, and you can't be higher than me.

B Yes, yes.

A has been talking for a long time, I can’t train you in vain, I have to show some knowledge and let you see it. Disciple, why can’t you remember this sentence? Guiyu, I’m asking you how old you are.

B That’s right.

A Master, let me ask you, you were seventeen last year, are you ten this year?

C 16.

A, B Yeah!

B Well, let’s raise a tortoise in a jar—the more we raise it, the more it will suck.

A No, you were seventeen last year, aren’t you fifteen this year? Oops, I’m confused too! You are eighteen this year. You're eighteen, what do you belong to?

C is a donkey.

A Are there any donkeys? The number 18 belongs to Horse, which is a big horse. He said, he is eighteen, what does he belong to?

C belongs to Da Maha.

B Hey.

A belongs to Da Maha! Are you not a cuttlefish? I belong to Malaysia, so there is no ha.

C is a Malaysian, nothing special.

A No, don’t say it. Disciple, are you noble?

C is eighteen.

What does A belong to?

C belongs to Malaysia.

A Look, how smart this kid is and how solid his memory is. (To B) I said. You go and ask this time.

B Okay. (To C) Student, are you expensive?

C is eighteen.

B I am eighteen, what do I belong to?

C belongs to Malaysia.

B. Are you proud of Geng?

C is eighteen.

What does B belong to?

C belongs to Malaysia.

B. Are you proud of Geng?

C is eighteen.

What does B belong to?

C belongs to Malaysia.

(Repeated question and answer several times)

A (stopping B) Okay, okay. The child was dumbfounded for a while. Let's talk about it, brothers.

B Yes. Hey, everything is okay at home?

A are pretty good.

B. How is the old man in shape?

A It’s so hard.

B Hey, seriously, is the old man rich this year?

A You ask my dad?

C is eighteen.

B Hey.

A (to C) Did he ask you? It was my dad who asked.

C Oh.

A You have to call me Master.

C Ah.

A Let’s go! You came here and "叏儿高" passed the wild geese. Ask my dad, what's wrong with you? How infuriating. (Turns to B) Besides, you’re not right either. Can I ask the old man if he can ask Guihe?

B What should I ask?

A I have to ask how long have you lived?

B I am forty-seven.

Did A ask you? Ask me this.

B. Will the old man live a long life this year?

A is eighteen...oh, I’m confused too! Seventy-eight.

B The old man is seventy-eight years old. For real, what does he belong to?

A You ask my dad?

C belongs to Malaysia.

A Huh?

C didn’t say anything.

A It doesn’t matter if you don’t say anything. This child is so disgusting, Jing Luan interrupted, from now on, you are not allowed to speak. If someone asks: Why don't you speak? Just tell him: I won't let you speak. This kid is so naughty.

B Don’t be as knowledgeable as a child.

A makes people angry.

B Last Sunday, I saw your father.

Where is A?

B Beiling Park.

A My father is a walker.

B The old man is really old. We haven’t seen each other for two years.

A You should speak.

B I said hello when I was far away: Uncle, how are you?

A Did my father speak?

B said nothing.

A: Don’t ask for gifts. The old man is old and deaf. Please come closer.

B I walked up to the old man, pulled up his clothes, and said: Master, how are you?

A Did my father speak?

B Your father hasn’t spoken yet.

A Why doesn’t my father speak?

C You don’t let me speak!

B Hey.