What are the funny jokes?

Tell the story of Tuoniu and his daughter. The humorous conversation between Torres and his daughter makes people interpret many funny jokes. Torres said to his daughter: Once upon a time, there was a player from Spain. He didn't do very well at the club and scored few goals. He is not even the main player of the national team, but he can play at the last minute of the final and score goals. Finally, the player lifted the big ear cup and the Roudny cup! Slap the person who laughed at him severely! The daughter said: Who is this, so lucky? Torres replied: ... this is your uncle Mata! Torres said to his daughter: Once upon a time, another player left Iberia to go to the Premier League alone. Since then, he has been wearing a red shirt and wandering in the middle reaches, but he has never gained anything. Even in the lowest valley, I can still win all the championships on the cold bench with the powerful matador, breaking all doubts and perfectly interpreting the organic combination of soy sauce and greatness. The daughter covered her mouth and answered, Dad, you are so great! Torres said angrily, shut up! This is not me! It's your uncle Reina! !

Tell a few jokes about the national football team. Investment skills in the national football team: If you can start from 1990, just take out a small amount of 1000 yuan in each national football game, the more the better, never buy or win, just gamble and lose! Then you are a millionaire now, with about 4.59 million remitted to your account. What stocks, bank financing? Believe me, these are not as stable as the national football team! Not every kind of milk is called Telunsu, but there is a team that can lose. National football financing is worth having. I have seen that the national football can be brought back to life: everything is relative, and others are spraying the national football! I want to thank him for saving the life of a friend of mine. My buddy had a car accident last year and was hit into a vegetable. He has been in a coma in the hospital, and the doctor said there is no hope of waking up! Even so, one day when a little nurse came to take care of him, she happened to turn on the TV. At this time, it happened that the national football competition was going on, and my buddy miraculously woke up! Get up and turn off the TV!