Does anyone have a more humorous joke? It’s absolutely humorous, thank you!

1. A timid and nervous witness is being questioned by a lawyer. The lawyer asked sternly: "Have you ever been married?" "Yes, I was married once." The witness's voice was low and trembling. "So who are you married to?" "A woman." The lawyer was a little angry. "Nonsense, of course you are married to a woman. Have you ever heard of anyone marrying a man?" The witness said tremblingly: " I’ve heard of it, my sister”.

2. I have a colleague who behaves like that when he is serious. One day when I went out to eat, I went to the store and saw that there were quite a lot of people. When I saw a person sitting at a table, he walked over and said, "You, give way." The man looked at him and walked away silently. After a while, another colleague said: How about we go over there, where there is a fan. Then I saw him walking over there and told the person in front of him to get out of the way. The man became anxious and said: Brother, where should I sit? I am also here to eat. When he came back to ask, he was so awesome that day. He said, I thought that person was a waiter...

3. Passing by the entrance of a shopping mall, I heard a conversation between a girl and the key holder. MM: Can you get keys here? Keykeeper: Sure. MM: Then give me a pair. After a few seconds of silence. The person with the key looked at the girl and asked: Where is the key? MM: I have the key, why should I use it with you?

4. The 1 and a half year old child is very naughty. At noon, my sister took the bus with her child in her arms, and the seat happened to be next to the driver. After sitting for a while, the child kept crying and refused to stop no matter how much her sister coaxed her. The driver finally got tired of crying. He turned to his sister and shouted: "Why are you lecturing the child? Just give him whatever he wants." My sister said: "That won't work, the child wants your steering wheel!"

5. Before the plane lands, the flight attendants must do a good job of signing and sealing various items. But just after signing and sealing the drinks, a passenger asked for a Coke. The flight attendant said to the passenger: "We have sealed them all." The guest was very confused: "I want a Coke, are you crazy?"

6. The boy sitting behind me spoke a bit effeminately, so I called him a half-androgyny. Then he said angrily: "I'm not half-androgynous, I'm all-androgynous." There was silence around, and then everyone laughed. .

7. There was a millionaire who was told that he had a terminal illness and only had half a year left. When he was sad, he found a killer and asked him to kill him when he was happiest. A few days later, the millionaire was notified of the misdiagnosis. He was smiling happily when he was killed by the killer.

8. One day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming: What is 1+1? Xiao Ming said: I don’t know. The teacher asked Xiao Ming to ask his parents. After Xiao Ming came home, he asked his mother: 1+1 = how many? His mother said impatiently: bastard. Xiao Ming asked his father: 1+1 = how much? Dad was drinking beer and said: It’s cool! Xiao Ming asked his grandpa: 1+1 = how much? Grandpa was watching TV and said: Gang boss! Xiao Ming went to ask his sister: 1+1 = how many? My sister was singing the national anthem and said: Get up! People who don’t want to be slaves. Xiao Ming asked his sister how much 1+1=? Her sister was singing a children's song and said: Little rabbit, be good and open the door. The next day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming: What is 1+1? Xiao Ming said: bastard. The teacher slapped Xiao Ming, and Xiao Ming said: Great! The teacher said: Who taught you? Xiao Ming said: Gang boss! The teacher was very angry and asked Xiao Ming to sit down. Xiao Ming said: Get up! People who don’t want to be slaves. The teacher became even more angry and asked Xiao Ming to stand outside the door. Xiao Ming said: Little rabbit, be good and open the door.

9. My classmate Gan Jiang signed up to give a speech. He introduced himself first. He was nervous when he went on stage for the first time: "My name is Gan Jiang. Sweet, um, no, it's sugar cane..." The senior teacher who hosted A black line appeared on his forehead: "This classmate, please step down and calm down first." "I have a reputation!" "Well, let's go back and calm down for a while." "I really have a reputation." The senior brother violently said: "If there is a buzz, we will fight at dawn!" ”

10. In junior high school, a buddy slept on the upper bunk. One night, our classmates were all having a sleep-talking meeting, and this guy fell asleep. Suddenly I heard a "pop" and the guy fell down from the upper bunk. My classmates hurriedly got out of bed and wanted to turn on the light. Then the funniest thing happened, I heard the guy yell weakly. "Mom, turn on the light"! We were all hilarious at that time.

11. One day, a classmate in our class recited the ancient poem "Compassion for the Farmers": "Sow ten thousand seeds in spring, harvest one grain of millet in autumn..." I fainted, and the whole class collapsed, sweating wildly!

12. My son wants to recite ancient poems to me after school. Seeing how excited he is, I encourage him to do one. Matsushita asked the boy, saying that the teacher was going to collect medicine. He died in this mountain, nowhere to be found in the depths of the clouds.

Haha, even the corpse was not found...

13. A student participated in the school's recitation competition for the first time. He was very nervous. The teacher encouraged him for a long time, but his palms were still sweaty. It was finally her turn. The student gritted his teeth and walked to the center of the stage in a few steps: "Teachers and classmates, the title of my recitation is: Red leaves are crazy (maple)..."

14. New century men: Can sleep on the floor, You can live in the corridor, you can kneel down on the motherboard, you can mend clothes, you can eat leftovers, you can afford medicine, you can raise children, you can raise girls, you can endure loneliness, you can keep an empty house!

15. In the subway, I saw a beautiful woman around me taking out an iPhone, and then a literary young man also took out an iPhone. A business man looked at her silently and took out an iPad. At this time , I smiled crazily, took out my Nokia, and smashed a walnut in the aisle, so I held the whole scene.

16. "Doctor, I sometimes feel very stressed.", "Usually when?", "While cooking.", "Oh, what's your name.", "Pressure cooker . ”

17. Whoever dares to bully me in the future will have your name written on the insole and I will step on you to death every day.

18. It is said that Tang Monk came to the foot of Wuzhi Mountain. Wukong: "Save me, master, save me!" Tang Monk: "I saved you, master, how can you repay me?" Wukong: "Disciple will definitely send you to the west!"

19. Mom will never be needed again Worried about my study, I hold a backgammon lighter in one hand and a textbook in the other. I don’t know where to click, so easy!

20. What I saw on TV is that nutritionists say that you should eat fruits and vegetables first, then staple foods, and finally meat. Because fruits and vegetables are digested the fastest, starch is second, and protein is the slowest. I thought it made sense. After I ate a cantaloupe and a bowl of noodles, I found that I couldn't eat my beloved roast duck... What a nutritionist! You liar!

21. Lao Wang and his wife are both operators. One day they had a fight and Lao Wang slammed the door and left. In the evening, my wife called Lao Wang’s cell phone. Lao Wang said angrily: "Hello! This is the LiJiLi service hotline. If you bow your head and admit your mistake, please press 1; if you are determined to divorce, please press 2; if you want to hit someone, this service desk will transfer you to 110." The wife was so angry. Hang up the phone. Late at night, Lao Wang came home and found that the door was locked. He could only call his wife's mobile phone. He only heard his wife say in a false voice: "Hello! This is the "Who's Afraid of Whom" service hotline. If you want to go home, please kneel on your knees. Washboard; if you want to divorce, please kneel on the nail board; if you feel uncomfortable, this service desk will transfer you to 120. "

22. The hospital has 100 walls to prevent patients from escaping. Two mentally ill patients still want to escape from the hospital. Yu Yehei worked hard to climb over the wall. Go to the 30th wall. "Are you tired?" "No." So the two of them continued to turn outwards. Go to the 60th wall. "Are you tired?" "No." So the two continued to turn outwards and reached the 99th wall. "Are you tired?" "Tired!" "Okay, let's turn back."

23. Congratulations! Has been admitted to the shameless class of the Toad Department of the United Nations University of Frog! Please bring your mental illness certificate and take bus 514 to Fool Road and get off at Foolish Death Street. When registering, please stand at the school gate and smile stupidly!

24. If someone bullies you, tell your eldest sister that I will beat his limbs into moving, his seven orifices into connected ones, his face into a color screen, his nose into a straight one, and his head into a vibrating one. Yes, the front teeth are made into flaps.

25. I heard that making a wish is particularly effective when there are meteors passing through the sky. That day I made a wish on a shooting star, hoping that you would become smarter. Holy shit! Guess what? The meteor actually flew back along the same path!

26. During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, you commanded the army, wearing a pot lid on your head, a sack on your body, a plastic bag tied around your waist, holding the pot lid in your hand, stepping on two cabbages under your feet, and shouted: "Collect! Broken! Broken!!!"

27. Stop studying; it's too difficult! Let’s make tofu! The safest way to make tofu is to make it hard; it’s dried tofu! If it's watery, it's like tofu! When made thin, it becomes tofu skin! If it’s done, it’s soy milk! If it can't be sold, it will stink, and it can be used as stinky tofu!

28. Today on the bus, a man and a woman collided due to crowding.

The fashionable girl turned around and said, "Are you sick?" The man felt confused and replied, "Do you have any medicine?" The people in the car snickered! The woman felt angry and replied: "Are you mentally ill?" The man said coldly: "Can you cure it?" The whole car burst into laughter! The bus driver stopped, leaned over the steering wheel and laughed!

29. A puppy climbed up on the dining table and rubbed against a roasted chicken. The owner was furious and said: "Whatever you dare to do to that roasted chicken, I will do to you." As a result, the puppy licked the chicken's butt. The owner fainted. The puppy said happily: Let’s see who is cruel among the demos!

30. A rich person’s wallet is like a flower, which makes people smile every time they open it. A poor person’s wallet is like an onion, which makes people burst into tears every time they open it!